When you’re dating an independent woman, you need to be secure enough in your relationship to know that she doesn’t need you. She wants you, but she isn’t dependent on you. This doesn’t mean that she’s incapable of love. Because if an independent woman chooses to be with you, you can be sure that she wants to be with you for no other reason other than the fact that she truly loves and cares about you. But there are some things you should know before you jump into a relationship with an independent woman. 

1- Her time alone is sacred

You don’t need to be attached at the hip to her; she has some things she like to do on her own. That doesn’t mean she dislikes your company; it just means that she needs to do this thing all by herself and that she’ll spend time with you when she’s done. Respect that she needs her “down time”.

2- She is abundantly clear

She will spell out her likes and dislikes pretty clearly so you don’t need to worry about her beating around the bush. At times, this will be great because you’ll know what she’s into straight away. At other times, it can be annoying because she will voice her criticisms. But you have to admit it’s a lot better than having someone who isn’t clear at all.

3- She won’t agree with you on everything

She realises that agreeing with you on everything is not the way to go. You have your opinions and she has hers, and sometimes agreeing to disagree is the best course of action

4- She will share everything with you in time

Since she’s been independent most of the time, she’s learnt to get through life on her own. Sharing everything with someone else is not something that is easy for her to do. Once you reconcile yourself with that face, you’ll be patient enough to wait for her to share things with you at her own pace.

5- Marriage is not at the forefront of her thoughts

Getting married might be the aspiration and dream of many women out there. But she has other things on her mind. Working on individual achievements will be more on her mind before she ever decides to settle down.

6- If she wants your help, she will ask for it

She’s learnt to rely on herself in the hardest of times. Don’t force a helping hand on her and then get angry when she doesn’t accept it. She can do things for herself, and when she can’t, she’ll be sure to ask you.

7- Don’t downplay her individual achievements

She’s done a lot of cool stuff before she met you, and she will continue to do a lot of cool stuff. Don’t undermine her achievements just to add more focus to the relationship. Everything has a level of importance; individual goals and aspirations come first.

8- You’re not expected to pay for her

You’re not obligated to pay for her. After all, it’s the 21st century.

9- If you break her heart, she ain’t coming back

On the off chance that you lose her, you better believe she won’t have any second thoughts. She cuts ties pretty well and she will definitely not ask to take you back.

So keep this in mind if you ever start falling for an independent woman. 

She’s independent, she’s bold, and she’s strong! Strikingly different from other ladies her age, yet similar in certain ways, an overly independent woman is a fascinating person to be with. This MenWit article enlists 25 things you need to know before dating an independent girl.

Quick Tip: Be independent

Independent women want someone in their life who is just as challenging as they are. Have a life beside calling or texting the lady 24X7, and she’ll get back to you. Cling to her like a leech; she’ll drop you like a hot potato.

The word ‘independent’ has been badly misunderstood and misconstrued to the point of stating that ‘being overly independent’ is a way to show negative attitude and boost one’s ego. How wrong. And sad. Being independent does not mean you are literally and completely not dependent on anyone. At the end of the day, man is a social animal, and we all need each other. Independence helps you establish your own identity, carve your niche, and become self-reliant. It helps you manage yourself, love yourself, and to a great extent, to be in control of yourself.

Since time immemorial, the Pavlovian circumstance has been played out in the form of an earning man and a supportive wife. Despite the changing times, some societal prejudices remain the same. Perhaps this is why the term ‘independent woman’ is sometimes frowned upon. That said, independence applies to both men and women. That it is associated more with the female population, nowadays, is possibly due to the preconceived notions over the years. Whatever that may be, irrespective of the gender, independence is a virtue, a quality to be cherished. While everybody, rather every woman is independent in some way or the other, there is a certain section of womenfolk that is overly independent―literally and figuratively. You have to keep certain pointers in mind if you plan to have her in your life. The points mentioned below will give you some tips you need to know prior to dating an independent woman.

She likes to be alone.

No, she is not a loner. She loves herself, and she loves what she does. You are an important part of her life, but you are not her life. Being alone is something she revels in; it is her comfort zone. She loves the solitude.

She is not accustomed to frills.

She is not the kind who will expect you to call or text her every minute; in fact, chances are, she might despise that behavior. What’s more, she is not used to being taken care of. While she may appreciate it if you are doing things for her, she may not like it very much either, she’ll feel like you are bestowing a great favor upon her. Do not feel offended by this attitude; it’s just that she knows how to take care of herself and is not one of those people who need all the fluff in the world.

She is very ambitious, enthusiastic, and open to change.

She does not work exclusively for money, she loves to use her brain, skills, and creativity. She loves to work and cherishes the feeling of being independent. She works because she wants her own career, her own identity. She is very ambitious―she may know her goals for the next decade or so. She is also open to change and is very enthusiastic about it. You are unlikely to experience a dull moment when she is around, because she is full of adventure and excitement.

She can do her stuff alone.

This is one of the advantages independent women possess. She is independent in every sense. She does not need you to drive her anywhere, do her laundry, take her out to dinner, or anything else. She can clean up for herself, she does her chores on her own, pays her own bills, exercises, and takes care of everything else. You will be welcome to join her and help of course, but do not expect her to wait for your opinion in every matter.

She is not the kind to serve her man like an ideal partner.

If you spend the night at her place, do not expect her to get up before you and serve you breakfast in bed. She may do it of course, but in all probability, she’ll prefer catching up on sleep. Also, do not expect her to consult you in every matter, take you permission, report to you, and whatever else. She’ll do none of that.

She can make friends in a jiffy.

Oh yeah, she loves to be alone, and yet, she can be the life of the party if she needs to be. She loves to socialize, so if you take her to a party full of unknown people, you can be sure she will know more than half of them by the time the party is done. She loves spending time with people―familiar or strangers―yet she is not dependent on any of them to make her feel great. She is comfortable in her own skin. What’s more, the friends she has known for a long time will be quite protective of her. So if you are dating her, be ready to face a barrage of questions from her friends, who want to make sure you are the right guy for her.

She enjoys chivalry as long as it is not overdone.

She loves chivalry. She will like you to open the door for her, pull out her chair, and be treated like a woman. She will like you to make plans. Do not go overboard though, making her feel like Royalty, or else she will find the lack of spark in the relationship and may walk off.

She is financially independent.

She will split the restaurant bills with you, she will refuse expensive gifts, she will pay for every single thing herself. She will never ask you for money, and if she does, she will pay you back as soon as possible. You can be sure she is better at financial planning than you are, and she has already saved enough for her needs and retirement. She will most certainly not want to lean on your shoulder for financial support.

She can be stubborn sometimes, wanting her own way.

She is intelligent enough, and so may be stubborn and adamant about handling things in a particular way. She does this because she has already done it before, and she does not need any advice for the same. If she needs suggestions, she will ask you without any inhibitions. So, let her do things her own way. Do not fight her, challenge her instead.

She is not the clingy, needy kind.

She is certainly not the one who clings and whines, and she will not like you to be one either. If you give her even a slight indication of you needing her every minute, there is very much a chance that she will leave you immediately. Extremely needy people are a big turn-off for such women.

She can do what is termed as ‘manly’ work with complete ease.

Don’t even think she will be in trouble when she has to do the typical ‘tough’ work, as people put it. She is perfectly capable of changing the light bulb in her bathroom, filling up gas at the gas station, repairing her own car, and fixing stuff around the house. If you want to offer help, say so without a chauvinistic note in your voice.

She likes her own space, and she’ll give you space too.

If you want to go out with your friends, she will be more than happy. She respects privacy, and she needs her own space. She may sometimes want to go out for a night of fun with her friends; do not keep questioning her about where she is going and for how long, even if that is your way of showing concern. She is capable enough of taking care of herself, and she will not like you invading your personal space. She loves the complete freedom of her private life.

She believes in the institution of marriage, with the right person of course.

She will love to marry and settle down, she will love her spouse and cherish him, as long as she feels he is ‘the one’. If not, she will hate to be tied down and would want to get out of the relationship as soon as possible. She would like her partner to be a little creative and imbibe the creativity in daily life―perhaps if her husband is a chef or a painter or a connoisseur of paintings, she will love him all the more.

She may not need people at all.

It is true that everyone needs someone at some point, and independent women are no exceptions. However, they do not need anyone in their life as a rule; they are not desperate. They are firm and self-reliant, and at times, they seem so strong, you may wonder if they need anyone at all. The fact is, they do, but can do without as well. And, when they do need you, they will cherish you so much, you’ll feel like the luckiest person on the planet.

She is extremely loving, caring, and loyal, when she needs to be.

She is ever loving and caring, just not in the conventional way. She will love you with all her heart, and will love to receive the same in return. In the beginning, she will take things slowly, for she does not want to lose her identity amidst the lavish attention she is receiving. Also, when she realizes that she is beginning to like you more than necessary, she will take a step backwards.

Don’t worry, just give her time to work things out in her mind and set a balance between her love for you and her independence. If she really loves you, she will stand by you even if the entire world is against you. She will want you to be true to her, because she will be true to you. For her, marriage is not the end of her identity, it’s just a phase of life; she will love her spouse and never be shy of exhibiting the same. What’s more, she is fiercely loyal. Unless you cheat on her, she will not leave you, come what may. Honesty and commitment are deeply ingrained in her, and when she gives, she will give you everything she has, because she has chosen you out of her own independent will. You are hers, and she will boast about that to the world.

She is headstrong, a feminist, and commands respect.

She is headstrong, yes, but she is not egoistic. And yes, she is a feminist. She will vouch for her own rights―not to demean the rights of the male population, but to prove that she can do anything that is expected of her. She can survive without love, but not without respect. Her dignity and self-esteem mean everything to her and she will not compromise those values, come what may. Order your misogynistic behavior to get dimmer―she will not tolerate it. She knows what she wants, she controls her life, so say what you genuinely mean. She will fearlessly voice her opinion, have healthy debates, and stay strong about her perspective. Not in the least will she put up with disrespect.

She’s tough, yet vulnerable, outgoing, yet reserved.

She is a conflict of emotions. She will be on alert in the beginning, but if she feels you are worth it, she will expose her vulnerable side. She will be outgoing, yet, she does not necessarily require to lead that kind of life, so she may be reserved and may catch up on her hobbies. She is hard to please, yet soft at heart. She will hide her weakness as much as possible―when she does express them, you can be sure that she has overcome her fear and has chosen you to be that important person in her life. She may be possibly scared that you will hurt her, so she will take time to trust―a lot of time. But it will be worth it.

She need not tell you everything she is doing.

She will not tell you when she is paying the bills, or when she is attending her best friend’s wedding, or when she is going to the supermarket. She may not even tell you some of the problems she is facing at work or any personal crisis. It does not mean that she is excluding you from her life, it just means that she is used to solving these problems herself. She will not whine on your shoulder all the time.

She is straightforward and frank.

No sugarcoated pill here―she is transparent and honest. She will tell you what she likes and dislikes about you, she will tell you what she wants from you. No pretenses there. It is safer to be equally honest with her; so if you are not ready for a relationship, say so right away. She is strong enough to handle it.

She is used to taking her own decisions, yet she’ll love it if you take initiative.

If you go out on a date, she may not even wait for you to place the order, she’ll do so herself. Yet, she will love it if you take the initiative. She may be very prone to taking decisions at her workplace, so do not expect that she will depend on you to decide. She loves to plan and enjoy, have new adventures, meet new people―all on her own.

She is not one to be fooled around with.

If you do not want to remain in a long-lasting relationship with her, say so in the beginning. If she finds that you are commitment-phobic, she will leave you before you can do so. She will not hesitate to make a quick decision about whether she wants you or not because she knows she has chosen you. So, do not fool around with her unless you want to be dumped soon.

She can be choosy and spontaneous; she may or may not be jealous.

She may take long to choose you, but she may not be jealous. So, do not try the ‘social media’ trick with her. Do not post pictures with your ex or other girls, she will be least bothered, she has other stuff to look forward to. She will not be impressed with any of your antics either. She is rather selective, keep it that way.

She is a good conversationalist, and expects you to be one as well.

She will want you to listen to you―she loves having intelligent conversations, so if you are out on a date with her, expect to have an interesting evening. If you keep staring at her or keep appreciating her mindlessly, she might lose interest on the first date itself. She is a wonderful listener and an excellent communicator as well.

She is emotionally strong.

She has been through hard, trying times, she has probably faced enough troubles in her life, taken care of the sick or elderly, faced financial problems, been dumped, lost loved ones, and what not, everything on her own. She not only has a tough exterior, but a strong inner wall too, that will not break even under the toughest of circumstances. She does not really need your shoulder to cry on, she is not a coward.

She inspires everyone and wishes to be inspired in return.

She doesn’t need someone to complete her; she wants someone to inspire her. She wants to motivate, and in turn, be motivated. She is strong, so she wants you to be strong so that she can find an equal. She will want to grow with you, learn with you, and spend the rest of her life with you, and yet, she will want to retain her individual style and want you to do so as well.

Guys, understand that being independent does not mean the woman is a loner. She just loves to spend some time with herself. And all she demands is equality, not a condemnation of the other gender. If you plan to date a woman who is highly independent, follow some of the points mentioned above, and be prepared for a satisfying relationship. She will love you from the bottom of her heart, laugh with you, make you feel inspired, confident, and intellectual, and get you to experience new adventures every day. If you are ambitious and independent too, you can be sure that an independent woman will be the perfect life-partner for you, sharing your goals and visions, matching your strengths, and being the motivational support you need.

Although a strong, independent woman can seem intimidating, especially, if you’ve never dated one, they’re actually the best women to be in a relationship with – not only because they now who they are, but they’re not going to have some sort of emotional breakdown just because you don’t call exactly when you say you would. We may be dating you and we may even love you, but we’re not going to sit around waiting for you either.

So, if you’ve met a woman and she’s clearly strong, independent, and maybe puts even a little bit of fear in your because she is so badass, here’s what you to know before you go down that road. It’s always best to be prepared when dealing with a woman who has her act together.

We have standards.

This doesn’t mean you need to be a billionaire who looks like Ryan Gosling, but it does mean you have to have your act together and respect us. We’re not going to be your mom, your babysitter, or your financial provider.

We will never, ever put up with anyone’s BS.

Whether it’s you, your friends, or some jerk on the subway, we don’t stand for it.

We want you, but we’ll never need you.

It’s when people start to need other people that things go sour. If you can recognize the difference between “want” and “need,” you can avoid stumbling into the conventional trappings that bog down so many others.

You’ll never be number one.

It’s not because we don’t love you, but family and friends come first. Sorry.

We’re not needy.

Needy people are usually insecure. We don’t do insecure. We figure if you want to stray and cheat on us, then that’s your loss. Why should we waste our time worrying about it and pulling the needy card?

We don’t have an ounce of desperation in our bones.

Desperation is an ugly quality, especially when it comes to desperately wanting another human being. It’s just not our scene.

Sometimes we’ll go MIA and you’ll just have to deal with it.

You don’t own us and we owe you nothing. Our alone time is necessary. So… gotta go now. Be back in a bit.

We say exactly how we feel.

Yes, it might hurt like hell sometimes but it’s way better than lying and saying nothing or that everything is “fine,” when it really isn’t.

We don’t play games.

Unless it’s board games, of course.

We have a three strikes rule.

You do not get multiple chances to bounce back from your screw-ups with us. In fact, three strikes are more than generous.

We have our own lives that might not always include you.

But don’t take it personally! We had a life before you, we’ll have a life after you, and even during this life beside you, sometimes you’re just not invited.

We don’t settle.

Our independence and strength makes it so we’d rather be alone for the right reasons, than be with someone who doesn’t deserve us for the wrong reasons.

We’ll always love ourselves more.

I mean you’re great, but at the end of the day, everyone only has themselves to count on and we know whose back to have: Our own.

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Amanda Chatel Amanda is a writer who divides her time between NYC and Paris. She's a regular contributor to Bustle, Glamour, Mic, and Livingly. Other bylines include: Harper's Bazaar, YourTango, The Atlantic, Forbes, YouBeauty, Huffington Post, The Frisky, and BlackBook.

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When you ask men what they look for in a woman, most are quick to talk about body statistics, sense of humor, intelligence, a caring nature and a strong personality. Basically, everyone wants a strong woman. But we have some serious doubts on whether or not they know what they’re getting into, when they wish for that. 

Image credit: Eros International

While a perfect waistline, a PhD and someone who loves your family like their own is just the kind of woman you’d like to deal with when it comes to romance; someone with a strong personality means much more than having a woman who knows which restaurant she wants to eat at and what she wants to order.  

Image credit: Eros International

Women who have a strong sense of self-worth and personal power are often direct about who they are. They don’t hold back any punches, and understandably, that can be both attractive as well as mystifying to men. Here are 6 things you need to understand before you claim to want a ‘strong woman’ as your partner. You know what they say… be careful what you wish for, you just might get it all!

Image credit: Eros International

1. Strong women are less emotionally dependent

A strong woman wants you, but won’t necessarily need you. A woman who can get herself through life doesn’t need the affirmation of a man to feel good about her. She knows exactly who she is, and what she brings to the table. While she might want emotional support, she’s not dependent on it. 

2. She won’t be afraid to speak her mind, even if it offends you

Not to be confused with unnecessary rudeness, strong women stand their ground and cannot be bullied or talked into something they don’t agree with. Be prepared to have healthy discussions that sometimes may involve a difference of opinion. She’s not a ‘yes-man’ or a pushover.

3. She has high self-respect

If she loves you, she might go all out to prove it to you, but anything that threatens her self-respect will not be tolerated. That’s the one thing she won’t compromise on, and she won’t think twice before moving on should you act disrespectfully.

4. She’s independent and a go-getter

If she makes her own money, be rest-assured she won’t take your shit. Financial stability equals freedom and independence – and she knows it! However, this doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you to pay any bills or spoil her at her favourite restaurant or a shopping mall everyone once in a while. It’s just that she’s capable of doing those things for herself, too.

5. There’s a limit to how much a strong woman will compromise

When it comes to making adjustments and compromises – don’t push the envelope! While she might be willing to cross seven seas for you, don’t set unrealistic expectations for yourself. No, she won’t cut her friends out because you hate them, she won’t stop wearing jeans because your parents don’t like it, and she won’t quit her job because you think she needs to take care of the household.

6. There’s no time to battle fragile egos

Independent women can be super empathetic and understanding but don’t bring your ego into things! These women typically have a low tolerance for dudes with highly fragile egos and won’t waste their time trying to pretend they do. They want a partner who is not threatened by their success or any other life wins for that matter, but is supportive and thinks of her as an equal. 

Lead Image credit: Eros International and Balaji Telefilms 

Get expert help learning how to be with an independent woman. Click here to chat online to someone right now.

There’s a new woman in your life. And you think she’s amazing. But she’s very different to a lot of the women you’ve dated in the past – she’s fiercely independent.

Or maybe you’ve dated another woman with a similarly independent nature before, but it didn’t work out because you found her independent ways to be a little overwhelming or didn’t know how to deal with them. Or maybe your behavior toward her made her feel a little trapped and she ran for the hills. Maybe you got jealous, felt like she was neglecting you, or tried to hold her back.

Whether this is totally new territory for you or you just don’t want to make the same mistakes again, you’re in need of some advice.

She’s an independent, strong woman and, as cliché as it might sound, she really doesn’t need a man in her life. She might well want one, but she doesn’t need one.

You’re bewitched by her, but find her more than a little baffling. You’re not sure how to approach this relationship in a way that will make both of you feel comfortable and give you both what you need.

But you know that it’s worth it, because if you can make it work with her, it could be a relationship you’ll never forget.

You’ve come to the right place. Here are some tips for dating an independent woman that will help you sustain the relationship.

10 Tips For Dating An Independent Woman

1. Expect honesty – and be honest.

An independent woman will be honest about when she needs you and when she doesn’t. She’ll let you know when she needs your support with something and when she’s better off doing something on her own.

She won’t be shy about being honest with you when she just needs space, and that’s no reflection on her feelings for you, so don’t take it personally. Sometimes she will just need to be alone, and that’s okay. Some people need their own space to recharge their batteries.

If she tells you something, don’t look for the hidden meaning in it – take her at her word. She’s all about honesty and prefers to be direct with what she says.

She definitely has no interest in playing games and she doesn’t thrive on drama. She’s not one to waste her time and would rather just get to the point.

She won’t think you’re coming on too strong if you text her back quickly or are honest about your feelings – she’ll appreciate that you’re being open with her.

So, be upfront about your feelings and communicate your needs to her from day one. Make sure you both know exactly where you stand.

2. Know how to compromise.

There should be compromise in every relationship, but if you’re dating an independent woman, you’ll have to accept that you might be compromising more than you’d expect.

Of course, every relationship has to be a two way street, and you can’t be the one compromising all the time. That’s just not healthy.

But she may well have a stubborn streak in her that means you have to be willing to look for solutions that suit you both.

If you aren’t willing to search for the middle ground between your two points of view, or let her get her own way sometimes, then the relationship probably won’t get very far.

3. Enjoy the freedom.

An independent woman wants an independent man. She wants you to have your own life and interests. She definitely doesn’t want your universe to revolve around her.

So embrace that. So many relationships can be limiting and mean both partners make more sacrifices than they should, so enjoy the fact that you’ve come across someone who wants you to spread your wings and soar.

Find activities that you can do as a couple, but make sure you’ve got your own stuff going on too. Be open to developing new hobbies and interests, and just get out there and live your own life.

Spend time with your family and friends. Make plans that involve her and never make her feel excluded from your life, but also make sure you spend quality time with the most important people in your life without her around.

And give her the space to do exactly the same. Make it clear that you want to get to know her family and friends, but respect that she needs some one-on-one time with them too.

4. Work on your own self-esteem.

If you struggle with your confidence or self-esteem then you’ll struggle to be in a relationship with an independent woman.

If you’ve got low self-esteem, it’ll be easy to see her desire for independence as a sign that you’re doing something wrong, even when it’s not. And that could topple the relationship that you’ve been building.

If you’re not confident in yourself then you probably won’t be confident in her love for you, and that might lead you to mistrust her. And suspicion or a lack of trust is something that can destroy any relationship, but especially one with an independent woman.

5. Beware of the green-eyed monster.

If you’re a naturally jealous person, then be wary of getting into a relationship with an independent woman.

She’s not going to change the way she behaves to appease your jealous nature, and nor should she have to.

She probably has lots of friends from all walks of life, both male and female. You have to trust that that’s exactly what they are: friends.

You’re the one she’s chosen to be with, and that has to be enough for you. You shouldn’t need proof or be checking up on her.

Remember: the only person your jealousy is going to damage is you.

Jealousy will eat away at the foundations of your relationship until it crumbles, and you lose a chance at something extraordinary.

6. Make sure she treats you with respect.

Being independent is great, but it isn’t an excuse to treat your partner poorly or not respect their emotional needs. Just because she’s independent, that doesn’t mean she’s got an excuse to neglect you or not be there for you where you need her.

For example, it doesn’t mean it’s okay for her to totally abandon you and ignore you at a party.  The two of you shouldn’t be joined at the hip. You should both be happy having your separate conversations. But you’re still there together, and should acknowledge each other, check in with each other, and show each other basic courtesy.  

Relationships are about two people both giving and taking. If you feel like you’re giving and giving and getting nothing back, then you might have a problem.

7. Be realistic with yourself.

If you find yourself struggling to date a woman like her and, try as you might, you just can’t adapt to her, then be honest with yourself about whether the relationship has a future.

Perhaps a relationship like this just isn’t right for you, and that’s okay. Don’t try to force it. It’s just important to recognize that, accept that you’re not going to change her, and know when to move on to pastures new.

8. Let her know you love her just the way she is.

Just because she’s independent doesn’t mean she’s immune to insecurities and doesn’t need reassurance and love.

Let her know that you love her just as she is and that you’ll be there for her when she needs you, come what may.

Be her rock, her cheerleader, and her shoulder to cry on when things go wrong, and she’ll do exactly the same for you.

9. Never try to clip her wings.

The worst thing you can do when dating an independent woman is try to change her or hold her back. Opportunities will present themselves in her professional and personal life and she’ll want to take them, and so she should.

She should take your needs and feelings into consideration, of course. Having respect for your partner in situations like these is what relationships are all about.

But don’t let your insecurities or fears hold her back, as she’ll only resent you for it. Don’t ask her not to follow her dreams for your sake. Let her make her own decisions.

That might make things complicated between you at times, but if it’s meant to be then the two of you will work it out.

Support her ambitions and let her spread her wings, and she’ll support yours in return.

10. Be romantic.

Some men are nervous of being too romantic with an independent woman, as they worry she’ll think they’re coming on too strong. But don’t be shy. Romance her all you like. She still needs reassurance that you care about her and find her attractive. 

Be confident in your displays of affection toward her and honest about the way you feel.

Use small gestures to let her know you care. Take her on imaginative dates. Go on adventures together. Be affectionate. Celebrate her successes and tell her how amazing she is.

Show her just how much you care.

Still not sure how to have a successful relationship with an independent woman? There will be challenges that you haven’t faced before and feelings you haven’t felt. It pays to have someone else to talk to to get the most out of your relationship – someone who can give you good advice on how to deal with the situations that will arise. So why not chat online to one of the experts from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. Simply click here to chat.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Is it hard to date an independent woman?

All relationships have their challenges, but dating an independent woman can be easier in some respects. For one, you won’t have to sacrifice so much of your current life to be with her. You can maintain your hobbies, see your friends, and still be a part of a great relationship.

She’s not going to get upset when you want to go away for a weekend with your friends or that you spend your money the way you want to spend it – because she’ll probably do the same.

The main reason why you might find such a relationship hard is because you’re not used to it. Your past relationships might have involved a lot more ‘us time’ and that’s okay for a lot of people. But to suddenly be with a woman who spends as much time away from you as she does with you can challenge your view of what it means to be in a relationship with someone.

Don’t go into this relationship with any expectations of how it might be. Just take it for what it is and see how you feel about the situation. It might be right for you, but it might not be. Time will tell.

How do you make an independent woman fall in love with you?

No one wants to feel like they have to change who they are for the sake of a relationship, and this is never truer than for an independent woman. Whilst you cannot make someone fall in love with you, if an independent woman is going to love you, she’ll need to see that you accept her for who she is and accept her independence as something that is sacred to her.

You’ll need to be easy going, flexible, and someone whom she feels adds something to her life rather than someone who will restrict her life.

What if I want to see her more than she wants to see me?

If your need for time spent together as a couple is greater than hers, you might have to accept that this is not the right relationship for you.

On the other hand, if you have only recently started seeing each other, you should wait a while before making any decisions – she might just prefer to slowly increase the amount of time you spend together so as not to disrupt her existing plans and schedule too much. She might be waiting to see how well things go before dedicating more time to the relationship.

In the long run, a key component of compatibility is wishing to spend a similar amount of time together. If it doesn’t seem like this will ever be the case, cut your losses and find someone who is better matched in this regards. You’ll never feel happy if you don’t see her as much as you would like – you’ll feel neglected and resentful.

How can I get her to spend more time with me?

Whilst you should never pressurize her into spending more time with you, there are ways you can make it happen. The key is to realize that many independent women are also highly driven and enjoy a challenge.

One way to see her more often is to suggest that you both take on a physically or mentally demanding hobby or project. She’ll likely jump at the chance to push herself, and the fact that it involves you will be an added bonus.

This could mean starting your own side-business together, or you might like to learn rock climbing as a couple.

Or it might be that you suggest taking a big adventure together, like driving from coast to coast in an old campervan, sleeping under the stars.

Whatever it is, you have to appeal to her sense of being a capable individual who doesn’t rely on anyone to get by in life.

How do I find my role in this relationship?

In a more standard relationship, your role as a partner is a lot clearer. You become one half of a couple that is likely to do a lot of things together and you will probably form a really close friendship as part of your relationship.

Whilst you can still be great friends with an independent woman, you won’t fill as big of a space in her social life and this can mean you have to find a new way to be a partner.

You have to accept that your role is not to make her happy because she already has things in her life for that. You will be one of those things, but unlike in many relationships, her happiness is something she will take responsibility for.

You have to remember that it is better to feel wanted than to feel needed. Having a girlfriend who needs you isn’t always a good sign that she wants you – she could be using you or simply like the attention you give her. Feeling wanted for who you are and what you bring to the partnership is a far better feeling.

It’s also important not to tie your sense of self-worth to being needed by this woman. You have to be assured in yourself and realize the worth you have as a person and not just as a partner. Learn to occupy yourself when she is not around so that you have other meaningful things going on in your life and other relationships that you value.

But also ensure that she knows how you like to be shown love so that when you are together, you get the most out of it – and vice versa, ask her how she likes to be shown love.

Do independent women ever want to settle down?

It might seem as though settling down would not be on the cards for a woman who prides herself in being independent. But it all comes down to how you define settling down – it doesn’t have to mean becoming reliant on each other for your emotional, practical, and financial needs.

It is quite possible to move in together, get married, and even have a family whilst still retaining a level of independence. It might look a little different to most marriages and families, but it can work out just as happily.

Chances are, though, that if an independent woman wants to settle down, it will come at a later stage in her life than many other women. And not all women will want to have children even if they do end up getting married.

Again, you have to ask yourself what you see in your future and when you’d like the major events to happen. Though it’s not first date conversation material, you can be pretty blunt with an independent woman and ask her what she thinks of marriage or kids and she will give you an honest answer. Then it’s up to you both to work out whether the relationship makes sense in the long run.

Can independence be taken too far?

There are varying levels of independence, and some women might take it to an extreme whereby they simply don’t place enough value on a relationship or partner for things to ever work out.

They might view a relationship as something akin to a service they can call upon when they feel the need for that particular type of company. They may even use their partner for sex because it’s convenient for them.

You can tell the difference by the way they treat you and how much connection they are willing to build with you. If they seem aloof when you’re together or avoid showing any form of vulnerability, they might not be as into you as you’d like.

Similarly, if you don’t really know each other all that well despite being a so-called ‘item’ for a number of months, you have to ask yourself why this is. Even if you don’t spend a huge amount of time together, you should still be able to let your guards down when you do and to forge a close bond of sorts.

If this woman often bails on plans at the last minute to do something else, that should tell you what sort of priority you are in her life. Most independent women won’t do this because they still value commitment.

Could you use some personal advice on how to handle an independent woman? Click here to chat to a relationship expert now.

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1. We need alone time. A little each day and more than a little on other days. It doesn’t mean we’ve lost interest in you.

2. We don’t mind if you don’t call or text us every second. We like it. We won’t be contacting you either. That said, if you’re late, don’t keep us guessing as to when you’ll show up as we’ll make other plans.

3. We can clean up our own messes. We’re not waiting around for you to fix our problems.

4. We are perfectly fine doing chores, running errands, and exercising by ourselves. If you want to join us, we’re glad to have you along, but don’t talk to us while we’re in the zone.

5. We sign up and attend charity events, races, and cultural exhibits on our own. We don’t need a date to feel comfortable at these things. Set us loose in a room with a bunch of people and we’ll have 10 best friends before the night is through.

6. If we have a sleep over, don’t expect me to cuddle you all night and cook you a hot breakfast. I will actually want to sleep and we can go out to the diner for brunch.

7. If we go to a party where it’s mostly your friends, I don’t need you hovering. I’m perfectly capable of chatting it up with endless amounts of strangers. I’ll even enjoy it. But don’t completely forget about me either as you’re probably my favorite person in the room.

8. We are comfortable paying our own way and will feel funny if you constantly insist on treating us. We don’t mind splitting restaurant bills with you. In fact, it makes us feel like we don’t owe you anything. We never expect you to pay for us or buy us gifts. If it’s not on a birthday or an anniversary, it feels like a bribe.

9. We will never ask you to lend us money. If we do, we feel odd and uncomfortable until we pay you pack.

10. We are capable of going to the bathroom by ourselves. But sometimes we just prefer the company of a friend.

11. We work because we want our own career. We’re not depending on you to be our sugar daddies. Don’t expect us to take a day off on a moment’s notice just because you bought tickets to a baseball game at 1 PM on a Tuesday. We have ambition and take pride in our work.

12. If you want to go watch football or to happy hour with friends, we’re cool with that. Actually, we prefer it, on occasion, because it gives us the chance to catch up with our own friends or spend the night catching up on our independent interests.

13. We know how to save money and are actively interested in planning for our own retirement. We know what a 401K plan is.

14. The idea of getting married sounds great with the right person. But we’re perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves if need be. We choose to be in relationship because we like you, not because we can’t live without you.

15. Sometimes, instead of a romantic partner, we secretly want to marry a cook / cleaning person / personal trainer / masseuse / stylist versus anybody else. If you happen to be one or more of these things, we will love you even more.

16. We like to fix things ourselves and will usually bring a step stool over to get things off of high shelves, even if you’re way taller.

17. We can be stubborn and adamant about handling things a certain way even if you’ve been through something before and want to give us advice. Forgive us. Let us try it our own way first, even if your intentions are good.

18. We get very frustrated with extremely needy, co-dependent people. This frustration may make us seem callous or icy, but it’s more about wanting to see people help themselves.

19. At times, we may seem so self-reliant, content and in control that you may wonder whether you’re needed in our lives. You are. We are confident and directed but cherish someone who appreciates, rather than fears, these qualities.

20. We still love a big hug, lots of affection, and to be told how much we’re loved. Tell us we look pretty every now and then and don’t let us shrug it off. Independence will never trump the desire to feel adored.

featured image – Lulu Lovering

We took a ride with Chromeo around NYC while they told us what they can’t live without on the road. Watch the video here:

Dating an independent woman might sound like a challenge, but independence is actually a great asset to any relationship. While she is likely to want to spend some of her free time without you, independent women have many great qualities. They are strong-willed, direct, and successful. They are also super fun to be around.

If you aren’t used to dating an independent woman it can be a little bit of a shock. While she no doubt has feelings for you and loves your company, she also doesn’t need a man in her life. She wants someone who will complement her way of life, not complicate it. As cliched as it sounds, an independent woman is strong and confident in herself and this can be quite daunting for some men who aren’t used to this.

But you shouldn’t throw away what could be something special because your partner is fiercely independent. You should acknowledge this trait and help foster it by supporting her and letting her live her own life. It will strengthen your bond and make both of you appreciate each other more when you are together. If you are struggling to come to terms with how to make it work, here is a list of tips and things to know when dating an independent woman that can help your relationship flourish.

1. Find Out What She Wants

Right from the very start, find out what she is after. This doesn’t mean you have to ask her straight out if she wants to get married and have kids, but talk about where you see the two of you heading. Discuss her wants and needs and see if you are on the same page. Likewise, be sure to tell her if you just want something casual or you think there is a chance of a relationship. As an independent woman, she won’t have time to be messing around with someone who is unsure of what they are after. By speaking about her needs as well as yours, you won’t be wasting anyone’s time. She will be much more appreciative if you are open and honest from the get-go.

2. Compromise

One of the biggest things you will have to get used to is compromising with your partner. While every relationship involves some form of compromise, you might find you have to meet each other halfway more than you are used to. Your partner is probably going to want a lot more freedom than you are used to and this will mean you have to be ready to compromise on a variety of issues.

She might spend her Sundays doing her own thing and just because you are in her life doesn’t mean she is going to stop that. Allow her the freedom to continue to live her life independently from you. But remember that it works both ways and be sure she is making compromises for you also. If you can find a middle ground then you are already on your way to a successful relationship.

3. Embrace Your Freedom

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Your partner is going to want to enjoy her own life away from you. She will want to do her own thing without having to worry about you being upset or bothered. As this means you will have a fair bit of time on your hands, you should embrace this freedom and enjoy it.

This allows you to pursue things your partner might not be keen on and gives you time to yourself to do as you please. Spend more time with your family and friends and keep those relationships strong. If you give her the space she needs she will not only be a happier person, but it could lead her to start missing you more. While she will always be independent, she might want to do more things together and less by herself.

4. Chivalry Isn’t Dead

Just because she is independent doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you to treat her with respect and do the little things to make her feel great. Prove to her that chivalry isn’t dead by making small gestures such as opening doors for her, giving her your jacket when it is cold, and complimenting her on the way she looks. Be a nice and decent guy and let her know you care.

Depending on how independent she is, your partner might not want you to always be doing these types of gestures. If that is the case she will most likely let you know, but if you are unsure, ask her. Communicating is the key to making sure she is cool with the way you treat her and act around her.

5. Don’t Play Games

Regardless of whether you are dating someone who is independent or not, you shouldn’t be playing games. It is not fair to the person if you are leading them on. If you try this with a woman who enjoys her freedom it probably won’t end well for you. An independent woman has little time for someone who isn’t committed. They want someone who can compliment their life, and if you don’t fit the bill they will drop you quicker than a punch from Tyson Fury.

She will be able to see through your lies and quickly tell if you are serious about spending time with her or not. She isn’t going to waste what free time she does have hanging out with someone who isn’t giving it their all. So if you aren’t that keen, don’t even try and pursue an independent woman. She will eat you alive and spit you out in no time.

6. Mansplaining Isn’t Cool

If you want to piss her off start mansplaining. You will quickly find the relationship ending sooner than it began. For those not in the know, Urban Dictionary explains mansplaining as; “When a man explains something to a woman in a patronizing tone as if the woman is too emotional and illogical to understand.”

From that description alone it is easy to see why an independent woman would have no time for a guy who speaks like that. Don’t go making her feel underappreciated and useless by offering your help without her asking for it or telling her you know how to do things better. For example, if she is putting together some furniture, don’t walk in and start telling her what she is doing wrong and try and take over and show her how she should be doing it. Ask if she needs any help and leave it at that. If she says yes, do what you can to help, but if she says no, respect her decision and let her get on with it alone.

Remember, she has got this far in life without your help before, so she can probably continue to get by without it.

7. Don’t Get Jealous

While being jealous in a relationship can be healthy, it can also cause major issues, especially when it comes to dating an independent woman. She is less likely to put up with any shit, especially if you start asking her questions about who she was hanging out with and what she was doing all the time.

Independent people have friends from all walks of life, both male and female, and have no time for a partner who will get jealous of this. You have to trust her and be confident in your relationship. Don’t let the green-eyed monster rear its ugly head and come between you both. It will only cause problems and quickly cause a breakdown in your partnership.

8. Express Your Support

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As independent people are happy on their own, when they decide they want a partner, it is so they can have someone to share moments of their life with. They don’t need a provider. They want someone who will support them in their endeavors and goals. Gone are the days when the man had to be the main breadwinner and act as a protector. There are just as many women making the big bucks. What an independent woman wants is a man who will be by her side through thick and thin. She wants a man who will support her through all the bad times and enjoy her successes. The best way you can do is just be there for her and offer unconditional support.

9. Respect Is a Two Way Street

Respect is a big part of any relationship, so make sure she is showing you the same courtesy you are showing her. Just because she is independent and used to doing things her way doesn’t mean she should neglect your feelings and make you feel like shit. You are both in the relationship together and need to show each other the same level of respect. If you are happy letting her do her own thing but she gets cranky when you want to hang with the boys, that’s not fair and shows she doesn’t respect you or the relationship. Similarly, if you go somewhere together but then she spends the whole evening ignoring you and doing her own thing, that isn’t right. You have to make sure she is taking your feelings into account and not taking advantage of your respect towards her.

10. Be Aware of Her Beliefs

This doesn’t necessarily mean her religious views, but her overall take on life and the things she believes in. As someone who is independent, she has no doubt formed her own belief system and moral code over her journey and it is unlikely you will be able to change that. Be aware of what she believes in and her opinions on major topics that impact your life, as they might not line up with yours. Now, these could just be small things, like her being a vegan and you still eating meat. You can work this out. But say she follows a completely different religion or has strong political views that are completely different from your way of thinking. This could cause problems moving forward, so be aware of principles and make sure you can both live harmoniously despite your differing views.

11. Don’t Try and Change Her

If you do find that you have differing views on things, don’t try and change hers. It isn’t going to work. She has formed these beliefs and principles over many years and doesn’t need you trying to change that. The same goes for her way of life. You can’t stop her from being independent. If she likes traveling solo or doing things without you, don’t expect her to suddenly stop because you don’t like it. She would rather ditch you than change her lifestyle. You have to understand what you are getting into from the beginning.

All you can do is support her and let her know you love the way she is. It might cause some tension here and there and take time to adjust to her way of life, but if you respect her for who she is, she will do the same.

12. Share Decisions

In many of your previous relationships, you have most likely taken the lead when it comes to making decisions. Whether that was choosing what to order for dinner or handling the finances, men are often pegged with the role of the main decision-maker. This will change when dating an independent woman. She will want to have just as much say as you do. It won’t go down well if you continue to be the one making all the decisions. Now, this could cause some tension initially, especially if you are used to being the one in charge all the time, but it really is a positive. It means you both have an equal footing in the relationship and fosters more respect. You will be more aware of what she actually thinks and wants, whereas past girlfriends might have just gone along with what you wanted because it was easy.

Just be careful not to let her take over the decision-making process. While you might think it is easy to let her make all the decisions, it shows she doesn’t respect you as much as she should. It also makes you look like you have low confidence. You should both be making decisions equally.

13. Don’t Suffocate Her

The last thing she wants is a stage 5 clinger. Don’t be that guy who is endlessly texting her and always trying to hang out with her. She won’t respond well to this sort of treatment. Just because she doesn’t get back to your first text within 15 minutes doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you. She is probably busy. She will hit you up when she has some free time. You have to allow her the freedom to live her own life without her having to worry about you always being in the background being needy.

Bombarding her with texts and calls will only drive her away. Give her space and she will give you the respect you deserve and make plans to hang with you when she can. If things go well she will eventually include you in her life more and more while still maintaining enough independence to suit her way of life.

14. Plan Around Her Life

Similar to dating a divorced woman, an independent woman has a lot going on in her life. You can’t expect her to drop everything and see you when you want. You will have to plan things in advance and work around her schedule. While she does have more flexibility, during your initial dating phase she won’t have as much room for you in her life. Once you have more of a connection it will become more of a two-way street, but at first, be prepared to plan around her life.

15. It Might Take Time

Be prepared to put in the hard yards. An independent woman won’t jump into a relationship with you after a couple of dates. It will take time for her to come around to you and have someone in her life. You will need to impress her and make her feel like you can make her life better. She needs to know you can add value to her life. You shouldn’t treat her any different from anyone else you have dated, but just be aware that it could be a while before she finally drops her guard and lets you in. It will be well worth it when she does though.

We’re not the women waiting for the husbands to come home anymore. We’ve had centuries fading behind the man, and have come too far in our independence to go back being dependant now.

We may be career driven, but that doesn’t mean to say we’re not boy crazy. But with guys not understanding how to handle a woman who is independent, we’re settling into the Bridget Jones lifestyle and holding out for Mark Darcy. So, here’s what you need to know about dating an independent girl, and why it’s not so bad:

1. She likes to be alone too y’know

Today alone, we’ve had to deal with wolf whistles and a workload that’s taller than we are in heels. When we get home don’t be concerned when we want some quiet time to ourselves. We’re not trying to lose a guy in ten days, we just want alone time like everyone else.

2. Let her get her own shit together

We don’t need to rely on a guy to fix our problems. Hell, we’ve never relied on a guy to help us get our careers, so we don’t need one to start spilling out advice. We’re powerful women, so recognize us as this!

3. She can pay her own way

Don’t dub us as extreme feminists because we like to split the bill. We’re not asserting dominance, we can just look after ourselves. Overwhelming us with expensive gifts can be nice, but we don’t need them, we’re the ones who fork out sixty dollars for moisturizer every other month!

4. Her career isn’t a hobby

The careers we’re working so hard for isn’t a hobby that we will give up when we’re married. We’re working hard to be successful in our own right. Men take their careers so seriously, why are we not allowed to do the same?

5. We choose you

Our plan isn’t about getting married to any suitable guy that just plods along. We’re successful and if we end up as spinsters, we’re not overly concerned. We build our relationships on guys we actually like.

6. She has her own ways of handling things

We’ve fought so hard to be recognized as who we are, we’ve been through some tough times, so don’t feel disheartened if we don’t take your advice to approach a certain topic your way. We’re stubborn like that, so let us try and work it out first.

7. She doesn’t want to mother before she’s a mother

We have to focus on making sure our own shit is together. We want someone who can take care of themselves, who can help themselves. We’re independent because we know how to take care ourselves, we don’t want to lose that to any man.

8. We want to be loved

Just because we like our own space and don’t need molly cuddling, doesn’t mean to say that we don’t like affection and crave it. We’re human after all, we want to be cherished, accepted for who we are and loved for it. Hug, please!

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When you ask men what they look for in a woman, most are quick to talk about body statistics, sense of humor, intelligence, a caring nature and a strong personality. Basically, everyone wants a strong woman. But we have some serious doubts on whether or not they know what they’re getting into, when they wish for that. 

Image credit: Eros International

While a perfect waistline, a PhD and someone who loves your family like their own is just the kind of woman you’d like to deal with when it comes to romance; someone with a strong personality means much more than having a woman who knows which restaurant she wants to eat at and what she wants to order.  

Image credit: Eros International

Women who have a strong sense of self-worth and personal power are often direct about who they are. They don’t hold back any punches, and understandably, that can be both attractive as well as mystifying to men. Here are 6 things you need to understand before you claim to want a ‘strong woman’ as your partner. You know what they say… be careful what you wish for, you just might get it all!

Image credit: Eros International

1. Strong women are less emotionally dependent

A strong woman wants you, but won’t necessarily need you. A woman who can get herself through life doesn’t need the affirmation of a man to feel good about her. She knows exactly who she is, and what she brings to the table. While she might want emotional support, she’s not dependent on it. 

2. She won’t be afraid to speak her mind, even if it offends you

Not to be confused with unnecessary rudeness, strong women stand their ground and cannot be bullied or talked into something they don’t agree with. Be prepared to have healthy discussions that sometimes may involve a difference of opinion. She’s not a ‘yes-man’ or a pushover.

3. She has high self-respect

If she loves you, she might go all out to prove it to you, but anything that threatens her self-respect will not be tolerated. That’s the one thing she won’t compromise on, and she won’t think twice before moving on should you act disrespectfully.

4. She’s independent and a go-getter

If she makes her own money, be rest-assured she won’t take your shit. Financial stability equals freedom and independence – and she knows it! However, this doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you to pay any bills or spoil her at her favourite restaurant or a shopping mall everyone once in a while. It’s just that she’s capable of doing those things for herself, too.

5. There’s a limit to how much a strong woman will compromise

When it comes to making adjustments and compromises – don’t push the envelope! While she might be willing to cross seven seas for you, don’t set unrealistic expectations for yourself. No, she won’t cut her friends out because you hate them, she won’t stop wearing jeans because your parents don’t like it, and she won’t quit her job because you think she needs to take care of the household.

6. There’s no time to battle fragile egos

Independent women can be super empathetic and understanding but don’t bring your ego into things! These women typically have a low tolerance for dudes with highly fragile egos and won’t waste their time trying to pretend they do. They want a partner who is not threatened by their success or any other life wins for that matter, but is supportive and thinks of her as an equal. 

Lead Image credit: Eros International and Balaji Telefilms 

Get expert help learning how to be with an independent woman. Click here to chat online to someone right now.

There’s a new woman in your life. And you think she’s amazing. But she’s very different to a lot of the women you’ve dated in the past – she’s fiercely independent.

Or maybe you’ve dated another woman with a similarly independent nature before, but it didn’t work out because you found her independent ways to be a little overwhelming or didn’t know how to deal with them. Or maybe your behavior toward her made her feel a little trapped and she ran for the hills. Maybe you got jealous, felt like she was neglecting you, or tried to hold her back.

Whether this is totally new territory for you or you just don’t want to make the same mistakes again, you’re in need of some advice.

She’s an independent, strong woman and, as cliché as it might sound, she really doesn’t need a man in her life. She might well want one, but she doesn’t need one.

You’re bewitched by her, but find her more than a little baffling. You’re not sure how to approach this relationship in a way that will make both of you feel comfortable and give you both what you need.

But you know that it’s worth it, because if you can make it work with her, it could be a relationship you’ll never forget.

You’ve come to the right place. Here are some tips for dating an independent woman that will help you sustain the relationship.

10 Tips For Dating An Independent Woman

1. Expect honesty – and be honest.

An independent woman will be honest about when she needs you and when she doesn’t. She’ll let you know when she needs your support with something and when she’s better off doing something on her own.

She won’t be shy about being honest with you when she just needs space, and that’s no reflection on her feelings for you, so don’t take it personally. Sometimes she will just need to be alone, and that’s okay. Some people need their own space to recharge their batteries.

If she tells you something, don’t look for the hidden meaning in it – take her at her word. She’s all about honesty and prefers to be direct with what she says.

She definitely has no interest in playing games and she doesn’t thrive on drama. She’s not one to waste her time and would rather just get to the point.

She won’t think you’re coming on too strong if you text her back quickly or are honest about your feelings – she’ll appreciate that you’re being open with her.

So, be upfront about your feelings and communicate your needs to her from day one. Make sure you both know exactly where you stand.

2. Know how to compromise.

There should be compromise in every relationship, but if you’re dating an independent woman, you’ll have to accept that you might be compromising more than you’d expect.

Of course, every relationship has to be a two way street, and you can’t be the one compromising all the time. That’s just not healthy.

But she may well have a stubborn streak in her that means you have to be willing to look for solutions that suit you both.

If you aren’t willing to search for the middle ground between your two points of view, or let her get her own way sometimes, then the relationship probably won’t get very far.

3. Enjoy the freedom.

An independent woman wants an independent man. She wants you to have your own life and interests. She definitely doesn’t want your universe to revolve around her.

So embrace that. So many relationships can be limiting and mean both partners make more sacrifices than they should, so enjoy the fact that you’ve come across someone who wants you to spread your wings and soar.

Find activities that you can do as a couple, but make sure you’ve got your own stuff going on too. Be open to developing new hobbies and interests, and just get out there and live your own life.

Spend time with your family and friends. Make plans that involve her and never make her feel excluded from your life, but also make sure you spend quality time with the most important people in your life without her around.

And give her the space to do exactly the same. Make it clear that you want to get to know her family and friends, but respect that she needs some one-on-one time with them too.

4. Work on your own self-esteem.

If you struggle with your confidence or self-esteem then you’ll struggle to be in a relationship with an independent woman.

If you’ve got low self-esteem, it’ll be easy to see her desire for independence as a sign that you’re doing something wrong, even when it’s not. And that could topple the relationship that you’ve been building.

If you’re not confident in yourself then you probably won’t be confident in her love for you, and that might lead you to mistrust her. And suspicion or a lack of trust is something that can destroy any relationship, but especially one with an independent woman.

5. Beware of the green-eyed monster.

If you’re a naturally jealous person, then be wary of getting into a relationship with an independent woman.

She’s not going to change the way she behaves to appease your jealous nature, and nor should she have to.

She probably has lots of friends from all walks of life, both male and female. You have to trust that that’s exactly what they are: friends.

You’re the one she’s chosen to be with, and that has to be enough for you. You shouldn’t need proof or be checking up on her.

Remember: the only person your jealousy is going to damage is you.

Jealousy will eat away at the foundations of your relationship until it crumbles, and you lose a chance at something extraordinary.

6. Make sure she treats you with respect.

Being independent is great, but it isn’t an excuse to treat your partner poorly or not respect their emotional needs. Just because she’s independent, that doesn’t mean she’s got an excuse to neglect you or not be there for you where you need her.

For example, it doesn’t mean it’s okay for her to totally abandon you and ignore you at a party.  The two of you shouldn’t be joined at the hip. You should both be happy having your separate conversations. But you’re still there together, and should acknowledge each other, check in with each other, and show each other basic courtesy.  

Relationships are about two people both giving and taking. If you feel like you’re giving and giving and getting nothing back, then you might have a problem.

7. Be realistic with yourself.

If you find yourself struggling to date a woman like her and, try as you might, you just can’t adapt to her, then be honest with yourself about whether the relationship has a future.

Perhaps a relationship like this just isn’t right for you, and that’s okay. Don’t try to force it. It’s just important to recognize that, accept that you’re not going to change her, and know when to move on to pastures new.

8. Let her know you love her just the way she is.

Just because she’s independent doesn’t mean she’s immune to insecurities and doesn’t need reassurance and love.

Let her know that you love her just as she is and that you’ll be there for her when she needs you, come what may.

Be her rock, her cheerleader, and her shoulder to cry on when things go wrong, and she’ll do exactly the same for you.

9. Never try to clip her wings.

The worst thing you can do when dating an independent woman is try to change her or hold her back. Opportunities will present themselves in her professional and personal life and she’ll want to take them, and so she should.

She should take your needs and feelings into consideration, of course. Having respect for your partner in situations like these is what relationships are all about.

But don’t let your insecurities or fears hold her back, as she’ll only resent you for it. Don’t ask her not to follow her dreams for your sake. Let her make her own decisions.

That might make things complicated between you at times, but if it’s meant to be then the two of you will work it out.

Support her ambitions and let her spread her wings, and she’ll support yours in return.

10. Be romantic.

Some men are nervous of being too romantic with an independent woman, as they worry she’ll think they’re coming on too strong. But don’t be shy. Romance her all you like. She still needs reassurance that you care about her and find her attractive. 

Be confident in your displays of affection toward her and honest about the way you feel.

Use small gestures to let her know you care. Take her on imaginative dates. Go on adventures together. Be affectionate. Celebrate her successes and tell her how amazing she is.

Show her just how much you care.

Still not sure how to have a successful relationship with an independent woman? There will be challenges that you haven’t faced before and feelings you haven’t felt. It pays to have someone else to talk to to get the most out of your relationship – someone who can give you good advice on how to deal with the situations that will arise. So why not chat online to one of the experts from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. Simply click here to chat.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Is it hard to date an independent woman?

All relationships have their challenges, but dating an independent woman can be easier in some respects. For one, you won’t have to sacrifice so much of your current life to be with her. You can maintain your hobbies, see your friends, and still be a part of a great relationship.

She’s not going to get upset when you want to go away for a weekend with your friends or that you spend your money the way you want to spend it – because she’ll probably do the same.

The main reason why you might find such a relationship hard is because you’re not used to it. Your past relationships might have involved a lot more ‘us time’ and that’s okay for a lot of people. But to suddenly be with a woman who spends as much time away from you as she does with you can challenge your view of what it means to be in a relationship with someone.

Don’t go into this relationship with any expectations of how it might be. Just take it for what it is and see how you feel about the situation. It might be right for you, but it might not be. Time will tell.

How do you make an independent woman fall in love with you?

No one wants to feel like they have to change who they are for the sake of a relationship, and this is never truer than for an independent woman. Whilst you cannot make someone fall in love with you, if an independent woman is going to love you, she’ll need to see that you accept her for who she is and accept her independence as something that is sacred to her.

You’ll need to be easy going, flexible, and someone whom she feels adds something to her life rather than someone who will restrict her life.

What if I want to see her more than she wants to see me?

If your need for time spent together as a couple is greater than hers, you might have to accept that this is not the right relationship for you.

On the other hand, if you have only recently started seeing each other, you should wait a while before making any decisions – she might just prefer to slowly increase the amount of time you spend together so as not to disrupt her existing plans and schedule too much. She might be waiting to see how well things go before dedicating more time to the relationship.

In the long run, a key component of compatibility is wishing to spend a similar amount of time together. If it doesn’t seem like this will ever be the case, cut your losses and find someone who is better matched in this regards. You’ll never feel happy if you don’t see her as much as you would like – you’ll feel neglected and resentful.

How can I get her to spend more time with me?

Whilst you should never pressurize her into spending more time with you, there are ways you can make it happen. The key is to realize that many independent women are also highly driven and enjoy a challenge.

One way to see her more often is to suggest that you both take on a physically or mentally demanding hobby or project. She’ll likely jump at the chance to push herself, and the fact that it involves you will be an added bonus.

This could mean starting your own side-business together, or you might like to learn rock climbing as a couple.

Or it might be that you suggest taking a big adventure together, like driving from coast to coast in an old campervan, sleeping under the stars.

Whatever it is, you have to appeal to her sense of being a capable individual who doesn’t rely on anyone to get by in life.

How do I find my role in this relationship?

In a more standard relationship, your role as a partner is a lot clearer. You become one half of a couple that is likely to do a lot of things together and you will probably form a really close friendship as part of your relationship.

Whilst you can still be great friends with an independent woman, you won’t fill as big of a space in her social life and this can mean you have to find a new way to be a partner.

You have to accept that your role is not to make her happy because she already has things in her life for that. You will be one of those things, but unlike in many relationships, her happiness is something she will take responsibility for.

You have to remember that it is better to feel wanted than to feel needed. Having a girlfriend who needs you isn’t always a good sign that she wants you – she could be using you or simply like the attention you give her. Feeling wanted for who you are and what you bring to the partnership is a far better feeling.

It’s also important not to tie your sense of self-worth to being needed by this woman. You have to be assured in yourself and realize the worth you have as a person and not just as a partner. Learn to occupy yourself when she is not around so that you have other meaningful things going on in your life and other relationships that you value.

But also ensure that she knows how you like to be shown love so that when you are together, you get the most out of it – and vice versa, ask her how she likes to be shown love.

Do independent women ever want to settle down?

It might seem as though settling down would not be on the cards for a woman who prides herself in being independent. But it all comes down to how you define settling down – it doesn’t have to mean becoming reliant on each other for your emotional, practical, and financial needs.

It is quite possible to move in together, get married, and even have a family whilst still retaining a level of independence. It might look a little different to most marriages and families, but it can work out just as happily.

Chances are, though, that if an independent woman wants to settle down, it will come at a later stage in her life than many other women. And not all women will want to have children even if they do end up getting married.

Again, you have to ask yourself what you see in your future and when you’d like the major events to happen. Though it’s not first date conversation material, you can be pretty blunt with an independent woman and ask her what she thinks of marriage or kids and she will give you an honest answer. Then it’s up to you both to work out whether the relationship makes sense in the long run.

Can independence be taken too far?

There are varying levels of independence, and some women might take it to an extreme whereby they simply don’t place enough value on a relationship or partner for things to ever work out.

They might view a relationship as something akin to a service they can call upon when they feel the need for that particular type of company. They may even use their partner for sex because it’s convenient for them.

You can tell the difference by the way they treat you and how much connection they are willing to build with you. If they seem aloof when you’re together or avoid showing any form of vulnerability, they might not be as into you as you’d like.

Similarly, if you don’t really know each other all that well despite being a so-called ‘item’ for a number of months, you have to ask yourself why this is. Even if you don’t spend a huge amount of time together, you should still be able to let your guards down when you do and to forge a close bond of sorts.

If this woman often bails on plans at the last minute to do something else, that should tell you what sort of priority you are in her life. Most independent women won’t do this because they still value commitment.

Could you use some personal advice on how to handle an independent woman? Click here to chat to a relationship expert now.

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Although a strong, independent woman can seem intimidating, especially, if you’ve never dated one, they’re actually the best women to be in a relationship with – not only because they now who they are, but they’re not going to have some sort of emotional breakdown just because you don’t call exactly when you say you would. We may be dating you and we may even love you, but we’re not going to sit around waiting for you either.

So, if you’ve met a woman and she’s clearly strong, independent, and maybe puts even a little bit of fear in your because she is so badass, here’s what you to know before you go down that road. It’s always best to be prepared when dealing with a woman who has her act together.

We have standards.

This doesn’t mean you need to be a billionaire who looks like Ryan Gosling, but it does mean you have to have your act together and respect us. We’re not going to be your mom, your babysitter, or your financial provider.

We will never, ever put up with anyone’s BS.

Whether it’s you, your friends, or some jerk on the subway, we don’t stand for it.

We want you, but we’ll never need you.

It’s when people start to need other people that things go sour. If you can recognize the difference between “want” and “need,” you can avoid stumbling into the conventional trappings that bog down so many others.

You’ll never be number one.

It’s not because we don’t love you, but family and friends come first. Sorry.

We’re not needy.

Needy people are usually insecure. We don’t do insecure. We figure if you want to stray and cheat on us, then that’s your loss. Why should we waste our time worrying about it and pulling the needy card?

We don’t have an ounce of desperation in our bones.

Desperation is an ugly quality, especially when it comes to desperately wanting another human being. It’s just not our scene.

Sometimes we’ll go MIA and you’ll just have to deal with it.

You don’t own us and we owe you nothing. Our alone time is necessary. So… gotta go now. Be back in a bit.

We say exactly how we feel.

Yes, it might hurt like hell sometimes but it’s way better than lying and saying nothing or that everything is “fine,” when it really isn’t.

We don’t play games.

Unless it’s board games, of course.

We have a three strikes rule.

You do not get multiple chances to bounce back from your screw-ups with us. In fact, three strikes are more than generous.

We have our own lives that might not always include you.

But don’t take it personally! We had a life before you, we’ll have a life after you, and even during this life beside you, sometimes you’re just not invited.

We don’t settle.

Our independence and strength makes it so we’d rather be alone for the right reasons, than be with someone who doesn’t deserve us for the wrong reasons.

We’ll always love ourselves more.

I mean you’re great, but at the end of the day, everyone only has themselves to count on and we know whose back to have: Our own.

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – Sponsored If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero, a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

Amanda Chatel Amanda is a writer who divides her time between NYC and Paris. She's a regular contributor to Bustle, Glamour, Mic, and Livingly. Other bylines include: Harper's Bazaar, YourTango, The Atlantic, Forbes, YouBeauty, Huffington Post, The Frisky, and BlackBook.

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What kind of woman do you want to date? Most likely, the dating game centers on who you want to be in a relationship with. Most often than not, people forget to assess themselves to see if they fit the woman they are eyeing. No matter how many dates you seal, if you’re a mismatch to the ideal person you have in mind, things just won’t work out.

So you want to date an independent woman? Here are 10 things you should know before dating her:

1. She will not make you her world.
An independent woman is someone who will not make you their world. You might have a hard time setting a date with them because their schedules are full. They work, they see their friends after work, and they give time for their hobbies. Also, you can’t expect them to put you first. They are living their lives in a full circle, and you are just an addition. If you’re okay with that, go ahead with that date!

2. She’s a busy and productive woman.
Since they are busy living their lives, you also cannot expect them to reply to you in a matter of seconds. Since their lives are full, they don’t have much time to reply to you as fast as you want them to. Given that time constraint, it’ll be a little tricky to know if they are not replying because they are busy or they just don’t like you. It is best to know their pace for you not to arrive at misinterpretations.

ALSO READ: How to become an Emotionally and Mentally Strong Woman

3. She has her own standards.
Aside from competing for their time, another thing you need to be prepared for when you are dating an independent woman is their standards. They have complete lives, so they are expecting yours is complete, too. The “you complete my world cliché” just won’t do the magic. They believe that a relationship is composed of two complete individuals who are ready to share their lives with others. They’re more likely to turn down people who need them to be complete. So, as sweet as that line may seem, it is best if you just complete your life first.

4. She can take care of herself.
Fixing your life should go hand in hand with fixing your idea of a woman. Why date an independent woman if she is not what you are looking for? If the kind of woman that you like is someone who’s clingy and who will make you her world, the independent kind might not be the one for you. If you want to play the role of a knight in shining armor, too late, an independent woman has already saved herself. If you want to be the sole provider, that’ll be insulting as an independent woman can pay for her own bills. So, before dating an independent woman, make sure she is really the one you are looking for.

5. She is financially independent.
Speaking of bills, when you date an independent woman, prepare to split the bill. Most likely, they’ll offer to pay for the meal they ordered and they really will. You can offer to shoulder all the expenses if you find it chivalric, but don’t impose your idea. She might get the wrong message that you’re telling her that she cannot pay for what she ordered.

6. She expects you to be a decision-maker.
Another thing that you need to prepare for is your itinerary. Leaving the decision making up to her can send her the wrong impression of you that you are someone who is incapable of making life-changing decisions. If you can’t decide on simple matters like what to eat or where to go after a cup of coffee, how can you decide for more serious things? So, when asked, “Where do you want to go next after having a coffee?”, instead of saying “your call”, why not say something like “I heard there’s a photo exhibit in the activity center. Why don’t we drop by?” By being suggestive, you can avoid sounding demanding. Just remember not to leave everything up to her. She makes decisions, so she won’t be interested in someone who can’t.

ALSO READ: 14 Things Men Should Do to Earn a Woman’s Trust

7. She has a sense of conviction.
As for conversations, be prepared to agree to disagree. An independent woman has her own stand regarding issues, so when you share your ideas and find out that they oppose hers, don’t spend your whole date convincing her to change her mind. Go ahead and share your ideas. Just don’t do that to prove her wrong.

8. She likes a smart guy.
Yes, she is more interested in people with ideas, so your looks might not be that much of a factor when she’s deciding if you have a chance of being in a relationship with her or you don’t. She’ll scrutinize what’s in your brain, and she’ll browse your life like it’s a library. She’ll search for what you can offer. She wants someone who’ll inspire her and who she can have deep conversations with. You have to be someone whos more than just a pretty face.

9. She likes to enjoy her own space.
An independent woman also likes spaces, and she’ll give you yours, too. You can’t expect her to update you if she’s already in a cab or if when she’s gonna prepare to sleep. The “after date” is her time for herself. She’s back to her personal space, and she’ll appreciate it if you’ll respect that. Don’t take this point as a sign that she does not like you or that your date is a failure. She’s just a fan of spaces. Don’t overthink.

10. She doesn’t need someone who will try to change her the way she is
You don’t like her concept of space? Sorry, it’s highly unlikely that she’ll change for you. Do you find her personality intimidating? Do you find her brutally honest? She won’t change for you. It’s like a take it or leave it kind of situation, unless of course, if they realize that their actions make them toxic.

A success factor that can make a date lead to a relationship is knowing who you are looking for, and assessing yourself if you are indeed a match with who you are eyeing. So, are you sure you want to date an independent woman? If so, go ahead and seal that date.

ALSO READ: 7 Things to Know Before Going Out on a Date

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Wherever there is art, there is her heart. Marielle loves anything related to arts and literature. She’s into calligraphy, photography, writing and everything in between.

1. We need alone time. A little each day and more than a little on other days. It doesn’t mean we’ve lost interest in you.

2. We don’t mind if you don’t call or text us every second. We like it. We won’t be contacting you either. That said, if you’re late, don’t keep us guessing as to when you’ll show up as we’ll make other plans.

3. We can clean up our own messes. We’re not waiting around for you to fix our problems.

4. We are perfectly fine doing chores, running errands, and exercising by ourselves. If you want to join us, we’re glad to have you along, but don’t talk to us while we’re in the zone.

5. We sign up and attend charity events, races, and cultural exhibits on our own. We don’t need a date to feel comfortable at these things. Set us loose in a room with a bunch of people and we’ll have 10 best friends before the night is through.

6. If we have a sleep over, don’t expect me to cuddle you all night and cook you a hot breakfast. I will actually want to sleep and we can go out to the diner for brunch.

7. If we go to a party where it’s mostly your friends, I don’t need you hovering. I’m perfectly capable of chatting it up with endless amounts of strangers. I’ll even enjoy it. But don’t completely forget about me either as you’re probably my favorite person in the room.

8. We are comfortable paying our own way and will feel funny if you constantly insist on treating us. We don’t mind splitting restaurant bills with you. In fact, it makes us feel like we don’t owe you anything. We never expect you to pay for us or buy us gifts. If it’s not on a birthday or an anniversary, it feels like a bribe.

9. We will never ask you to lend us money. If we do, we feel odd and uncomfortable until we pay you pack.

10. We are capable of going to the bathroom by ourselves. But sometimes we just prefer the company of a friend.

11. We work because we want our own career. We’re not depending on you to be our sugar daddies. Don’t expect us to take a day off on a moment’s notice just because you bought tickets to a baseball game at 1 PM on a Tuesday. We have ambition and take pride in our work.

12. If you want to go watch football or to happy hour with friends, we’re cool with that. Actually, we prefer it, on occasion, because it gives us the chance to catch up with our own friends or spend the night catching up on our independent interests.

13. We know how to save money and are actively interested in planning for our own retirement. We know what a 401K plan is.

14. The idea of getting married sounds great with the right person. But we’re perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves if need be. We choose to be in relationship because we like you, not because we can’t live without you.

15. Sometimes, instead of a romantic partner, we secretly want to marry a cook / cleaning person / personal trainer / masseuse / stylist versus anybody else. If you happen to be one or more of these things, we will love you even more.

16. We like to fix things ourselves and will usually bring a step stool over to get things off of high shelves, even if you’re way taller.

17. We can be stubborn and adamant about handling things a certain way even if you’ve been through something before and want to give us advice. Forgive us. Let us try it our own way first, even if your intentions are good.

18. We get very frustrated with extremely needy, co-dependent people. This frustration may make us seem callous or icy, but it’s more about wanting to see people help themselves.

19. At times, we may seem so self-reliant, content and in control that you may wonder whether you’re needed in our lives. You are. We are confident and directed but cherish someone who appreciates, rather than fears, these qualities.

20. We still love a big hug, lots of affection, and to be told how much we’re loved. Tell us we look pretty every now and then and don’t let us shrug it off. Independence will never trump the desire to feel adored.

featured image – Lulu Lovering

We took a ride with Chromeo around NYC while they told us what they can’t live without on the road. Watch the video here: