If you’re a millennial dating in 2017, chances are you or someone you know is on some kind of app.

And although dating online can sometimes feel like a “Groundhog Day” loop of bad match after bad match, diversifying your watering hole online — as in life — has the power to dramatically change your luck in love.

After all, all apps are not created equal.

If you’re new to dating apps — or just want to try something new — here’s some inspiration to just dive in. I’ve tried some of the most popular dating apps, and here’s what I’ve found:

If you want to swipe mindlessly, try Tinder or OKCupid.

At its basest level, Tinder is a “hot-or-not” app. Matches are based solely on mutual physical attraction. OKCupid is similar, except you answer a bevy of super-personal questions first. (Such as, “Are you intimidated by a partner who is more sexually experienced than you?” and “Are you more attracted to virgins?” Whoa.) Answers are used as a metric for compatibility.

Tinder has a bad rap for being a hookup-only app, but it’s not hard to find people who have met on Tinder and are in serious relationships. And with an estimated 50 million users swiping laterally daily, there’s no way that everyone has nefarious intentions (unless that’s what you’re into, no judgments here!). But if you’ve been swiping on Tinder to no avail, you might want to give OKCupid a shot.

If you like the idea of a Sadie Hawkins dance, try Bumble or Coffee Meets Bagel.

Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel put women in charge.

Bumble has been dubbed “The Feminist Tinder” and follows its predecessor’s model with unlimited swipes on a seemingly endless supply of men. After matching on Bumble, a woman has 24 hours to initiate a conversation before the connection disappears forever. Looking for platonic relationships only? Bumble has a feature that allows you to swipe for potential new friends.

Similarly, on Coffee Meets Bagel (named because the creators wanted the batch of new matches to be something women look forward to every day, like a coffee break. What goes well with coffee? Bagels) women choose who gets to talk to them from among the men (or “bagels”) who have already liked them. It all translates to a handful of “bagels” for women to review each day, on average.

(Personally, I had the least amount of luck on these apps because the dating pool skewed largely white no matter whether I was swiping in New York or in Los Angeles. And as a black woman, a lack of diversity is a problem.)

The limited number of choices presented each day made for a really slow process on CMB. But it might be worth it: It and Bumble have developed reputations as being places for people looking for serious relationships.

If you like your friends’ friends, try Hinge.

Hinge pulls from mutual friends of your Facebook friends. It used to be a standard, swipe-centric dating app. Its engineers realized that users liked the sense of familiarity among mutuals a lot, but the run-of-the-mill swiping interface not so much. So meet Hinge 2.0: The new layout is more like Instagram than Tinder, and now instead of just “liking” someone overall you have the option to like one of their photos or a detail from their bio. (A friend described it this way: “It’s like if Bumble and Facebook had a baby with LinkedIn.”)

The Hinge interface is a welcome reprieve from the general left-right swipe interface. It makes me feel like my quirky bio answers hold as much weight as the carefully curated selfie selection I upload. (However, more men have “liked” my pictures than have “liked” my bio answers, so maybe they don’t.)

If you like yuppies, try the League.

If you’re into exclusivity, look no further than the League, where you first have to sync your LinkedIn account and await a vetting and approval process. Once you’re in (you’ll receive a notification saying, “You’ve been officially drafted into The League!”), every night at 6 p.m. you’ll get a batch of five new people to choose from.

Are you a veteran of the L.A. dating scene? We want to tell your story »

As with Coffee Meets Bagel, it can be slow going. I’ve been on the League for a few months now and have yet to find anyone worth talking to online or otherwise. But the idea is a good one.

If you’re a celebrity, or like celebrities, try Raya.

Where do famous people find love when they’re not hooking up with costars or dating childhood sweethearts? Raya. Normal people need not apply, as you have to be famous (or at least famous-adjacent) to be approved for this app, for which the waitlist is like the League, multiplied by 10. Basically, if your Instagram follower count doesn’t have a K next to it, don’t bother.

After submitting a basic application, your “creative influence” is gauged and an anonymous committee decides whether you’re cool enough to join the club. Joe Jonas, Patrick Schwarzenegger and “SNL” star Michael Che have all been rumored to be on the app, so the cool kids appear to be present. But with a referrals-only vetting process, a $7.99 monthly membership fee and a strict no-screenshots policy, it’s no wonder Raya is referred to as the “Illuminati Tinder.”

What has been your experience on dating apps? Which is your favorite and why? Least favorite? And what apps would you recommend to the LGBT community?

sonaiya.kelley@latimes.com

Follow me on Twitter @sonaiyak

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Behaviors of a dating hobbyist.

1. Treating dating like a numbers game.

2. Having no real system or strategy for swiping.

3. Finding yourself on a lot of first dates.

Behaviors of a dating professional.

1. Having a clear, soulful vision of what they want.

2. Creating structure around their dating process.

3. Using more than chemistry to decide who to date.

Your outlook on dating matters.

Reset Your Gut

You’re having no luck on Tinder (or Bumble.)

With the odds stacked against you it can seem almost impossible to make these apps work.

Until you discover a few hidden tips and tricks that most men will never know about.

Here’s what you get in this article:

• 1Stealable profile text that get girls to text YOU
• The best location and time to give her a like (increases your match chances)
• How I turned a regular looking guy’s Tinder into a match MACHINE
• A fun technique a hot flight attendant used to seduce my cameraman
• The #1 bio mistake you are making RIGHT NOW that makes girls detest you

By the way, did you know I created The Profile Checklist. You just fill in the blanks, and you discover where your profile is lacking the necessary attraction switches. As a bonus, I review a Tinder profile from a reader, using The Profile Checklist. Knowing your flaws will get you on the path to multiplying your matches. Download it here for free.

#1 Why she doesn’t like you on Tinder

I’m going to make a bold call here and predict what’s wrong with your online game.

I think I can predict your behavior on dating apps. And if I’m right… you’re in trouble.

It’s not like there’s something severely wrong with you.

For the most part you’re normal.

Not some sort of weirdo.

Nothing extremely bad, nothing extremely good.

You’re just a regular, everyday, normal guy.

Nod if you agree.

Cool.

Glad we’re on the same page.

Now let me tell you what’s going on.

The reason girls don’t like you on dating apps, is…

…because you’re normal.

A normal guy, who acts… normal.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

See, most men think they have to play it safe on online dating. Or dating in general for that matter.

As long as you’re nice and don’t creep her out… girls will eventually see your true worth.

Preach, my servant. Preach!

But boy were you wrong.

Heck, I was wrong too when I first started dating online.

But one day I discovered that when I let my rough edges shine through, that girls liked me better.

That’s why I pop a bottle whenever I get a text like this:

Girls are FED UP with more of the same.

They’ve had the heys, his, and hellos one too many times.

They’re fed up with Tinder bios that say you like friends, drinks, snowboarding, movies, and good humor.

They’d rather uninstall Tinder than have a match with another run-of-the-mill profile.

And I may be harsh here but I want you to know that the only one to blame here, is you.

BUT…

Let me be super clear on something else:

You have everything it takes to meet fun women. It’s all inside you.

You just weren’t taught how to show it.

And that’s just what I’m going to show you now.

So in a bit, you can be the “weirdo” she can’t stop texting.

#2 The one thing to rule them all

Read this tip and you’ll know the quickest way to get more matches.

Before I bombard you with quick tips and tricks that will have her shook…

…You’re going to have to do the one thing you don’t feel like doing.

Yes, my son, you will have to work on your profile pictures.

ESPECIALLY the first one.

It’s the locomotive to your online dating train.

The catalyst to your Tinder chemistry.

The good news is that you don’t need to have James Dean’s looks to be successful.

But you do need to be willing to play it smart on Tinder.

You do that by applying the hacks that science has bestowed upon us.

Hacks that regular Joes aren’t aware of, by the way.

Which is why they work extra good for you and I.

A good friend of mine never cared much about looking cool in photos.

He’s such a great guy to be around, but on Tinder things just didn’t work out for him.

He’s young, going to university, and hoping to run into a girl that way.

When I first saw his Tinder profile, I instantly understood why he didn’t rake in matches.

This is the best his 3-photo-profile had to offer:

And this photo was in the THIRD spot.

The first photo was him and a friend, taken from so far you could hardly see anything!

So, here’s what I did:

I collected all the wisdom gathered in my No Matches Tinder article, and went to work.

For the result, and especially all hidden attraction triggers in the photo, check the video below.

#3: Shooting the perfect Tinder profile photo

In this video, we’re shooting a killer Tinder profile picture for my friend Yens.

It’s the kind of picture that fills up your spam inbox REAL quick.

Check out this cute video to see what exact steps we took to turn a shitty Tinder profile, into a Tinder profile that rakes in matches.

#4 Your match wants to seduce you and this is how you help her

If you sometimes don’t know exactly what to say, then this is for you.

At times it can be hard to come up with the perfect text.

Not only for you, but for girls too.

First of all, I want to applaud you for reading this and trying to handle the situation.

Many girls don’t put in the effort.

And I got the proof to back up my claim.

If you’ve ever tried Bumble, then you’ve seen HALF of the proof.

On Bumble, women have to initiate the conversation.

Only after they’ve texted first, can you text back.

So what do these ladies do?

90% of them hit you with what I call the “peasant opener”.

Hi, hey, hello, how are you, and more of that same boring stuff.

So far from effort from their side, right?

But it gets better.

When I was on a Bumble date in Barcelona, my date told me that whenever you send a boring opener like that, Bumble tries to stop you.

The dating app KNOWS these kinds of texts don’t start fun conversations.

So they take the girls by the hand to send a better text.

I was baffled when I found out about this.

This means that whenever a girl hits you with the hey or the hi, the consciously ignored Bumble’s warning.

Bumble:

Girls on Bumble:

So, my man, it’s all you again.

You’re the one that has to make it interesting.

But you’re not alone. Because I’ve got TWO easy methods to make this all work out.

Find them in the next two tips.

#5 Use this trick to make her send fun texts

If you’re tired of girls sending you boring texts, and you doing all the work…

…then it’s time you learn my psychological trick.

You’re on Tinder or Bumble and girls hit you up with the cliché texts.

They’re not giving you much to work with.

And in the last tip, I told you that they WANT to be more fun.

They just don’t always know how to.

So here’s how you can help them.

Open your profile, click the ‘edit’ button, and add in a CTA.

A what?

A CTA.

A Call To Action.

It’s a marketing term that encourages people to perform a certain action.

Like me saying:

Hey, go ahead and click this link to automatically subscribe to my YouTube channel. Where I hand out free tips and crack all sorts of mediocre jokes.

But you won’t ask girls to check out my YouTube channel.

You’ll tell them what to text you.

You’ll INSPIRE them to send better texts when talking to you.

Here’s a simple Bumble bio example:

Now it’s REALLY simple for her to be interesting.

And even though some girls will still opt for the Heys and the Hellos…

…at least some will gladly follow your lead, and step up their game.

Like this one:

Perfect.

Another example:

That’s a whole lot more fun than hitting you with a dry greeting, isn’t it?

Now in the next tip, I’m going to give you some copy paste options to be interesting yourself.

#6 Don’t know what to text? Say this.

It’s easy to be boring over text.

And it’s even easier to ignore boring people over text.

It’s not like in real life, where you can’t just turn around and stop replying to a person.

So… better safe than sorry!

When in doubt whether your text is fun enough to get a response, don’t text.

A good trick is to ask yourself:

“If I would get this text from someone else… could I easily reply?”

If the answer is yes? Hit the send button.

If the answer is no, flush it.

Anyway, for your inspiration, or for you to shamelessly steal…

Here is a link to my 10 Texts That Always Work.

All yours as the click of a button.

Enjoy!

#7 The feeling that makes her swipe you right

Picture this:

You’re swiping when you come across a profile that makes you doubtful…

…She’s not cute enough to instantly swipe right.

But she’s not quite a Quasimodo either.

So you do what most people do when unsure on Tinder.

You scroll down and glance over her bio.

It reads:

Carefully written, fact-checked essay in the streets,
unmoderated comments section in the sheets.

Alright, she got you.

You giggled.

If she can make you laugh in her bio, there’s a fair chance she can make you laugh in a text conversation. Or if all goes well, on a date.

Or after blowing your mind with a round of the best reverse cowgirl you’ve ever felt.

Wait, now we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

Here’s the thing:

A study showed us that men spend 65 percent more time looking at the pictures in the profile than women do.

Women on the other hand, read bios way more than us simple men.

The point I’m trying to get to is this:

Make her laugh with your bio. Writing (or stealing) a funny bio doesn’t take much effort. And what you’re getting in return is priceless:

More likes, women opening you saying “haha I really had to laugh at your bio”, and a great vibe to build a conversation on.

Want a screenshot example and a cute little success story?

Fine, here you go:

As I am writing this, my cameraman, Sibo, is sitting across the table from me. His face still looking tired from a night without much sleep.

A tall and skinny flight attendant robbed him from his much needed night’s rest.

But if we rewind a little, then I remember Sibo and I being on our way to grab lunch with the rest of the TextGod team.

Sibo is looking at his phone as he starts laughing, and then shows us all what’s cracking him up.

See that last line in her bio?

That’s the one that had Sibo cracking up.

(I’ve seen it pass by a couple times, so it’s played out for me. But what makes it extra powerful on her profile, is that she’s a flight attendant. You can perfectly imagine how she must feel when a crowd of smelly travelers starts clapping after a successful landing. For the 69102th time.)

Fast forward back to right now. They had an awesome date and are planning on seeing each other again.

All of this wouldn’t have happened if this girl didn’t crack Sibo up.

(And if he didn’t crack her up with his funny bio, but I’m keeping that one for later.)

Oh btw, another easy way to have a girl giggling, is by adding a meme to your profile.

This flight attendant used both methods. And she was raking in matches with her strategy.

I had superliked her for the meme she snuck in at the end of her profile.

A relatable meme goes a long way.

Even when your trying to get more matches on Tinder.

#8 The only correct way to do a bio

In this tip I’ll show you what you can NEVER tell a girl.

Most men’s bios repel girls instead of attracting them.

And they’re not even aware of why they’re scaring off girls.

(Girls are equally guilty of this mistake.)

To give you an example, allow me to swipe just a few times.

Here we go, it didn’t take very long to find these two bios:

(To be honest it took more swipes than it should have. Because the majority of women didn’t even fill out their bio. That’s the biggest bio mistake one could make.)

Alright, so this lady is giving a whole list of things she likes.

Biking, mother nature, making people laugh, and drawing for example.

And this ma’am tells us she is simple, funny, and passionate.

So what’s wrong with these 2 simple bios?

There’s nothing wrong with telling you she is funny, likes drawing, and likes nature. Right?

No, not right. Wrong.

And the reason why it’s wrong, is already in the last line.

Because they are telling us.

Instead of showing.

Their photos were quite bad. Some selfies and very common amateur photos in front of touristic hotspots.

If you like biking, then show me a kick-ass photo of you on a bike in a nice location!

If you are funny, then SHOW me you are funny. Make me laugh and I’ll gladly swipe right!

Do you like drawing? Why not add a drawing you’re really proud of?

You there, yes you, the guy reading this…

Would you rather see see her bio say “drawing”, or would you rather see an actual drawing?

Do you believe her when she says she is funny, yet her bio looks like this:

I sure don’t.

I’ll tell you who I think is funny. The girl my cameraman Sibo went on a date with last night. The girl from tip #4.

She didn’t say she was funny. She SHOWED us.

I don’t say in my Tinder profile text that I surf. I post this photo instead:

A guy I coached recently doesn’t say he likes ‘adventure’, ‘doing exciting stuff’, ‘going outdoors’.

He uses this photo instead:

You don’t TELL her you’re you like smoking weed.

You post a picture of your whole stash!

You don’t TELL her you… oh wait…

Wait no…

Don’t post pictures of any drugs you own.

That doesn’t seem very smart.

But anyway, you get it.

Show her, don’t tell her.

#9 The biggest Bumble mistake you can make (100% deal breaker)

I’m going to show you the most fatal mistake you can possibly make on Bumble.

And give you a few tips that make you immune to this error.

Many guys don’t have the perfect profile picture laying around.

If they want a perfectly executed headshot, they need to team up with a photographer.

And for some, that’s a scary thing to do.

So they try something else.

Going through the few dignified shots they have collected over the years.

They then pick out their personal favorite (a big mistake by the way, more on that in a bit.)

And they upload the photo on Bumble.

But here’s what they don’t know:

A good first photo has your face clearly visible. No hats or anything else blocking your face.

Preferably, it also shows nothing more than your head and torso.

Your eyes should be completely visible. No sunglasses.

And if you can… smile while looking at the lens. Showing her you’re a good guy, and not a potential online-rapist-creep kind of guy.

Anyway, maybe you weren’t aware of the importance of being centered in the photo with your head clearly visible.

But Bumble is aware.

So, in order to help you out, they’ll zoom in on your photo.

When a girl is swiping, she sees just a part of your picture.

And that COULD be a problem.

Let me clarify with a screenshot example:

Keeping in mind the tips I just told you…

…What’s so bad about this guy’s Bumble profile?

His eyes are visible.

Head and torso… sort of. Not the best possible way to go about it but I’ll let it slide.

Face isn’t obscured somehow.

Underneath the blur, he is actually smiling.

Is it a professional high quality photo? Definitely not.

It’s a pixelated, sloppy pic made while picnicking.

But want to know the one thing that is FATAL about this photo?

That if you click on the profile to see the full picture, you see this:

That’s right.

This guy doesn’t even KNOW he is on Bumble.

This is a woman’s profile.

The cutie on the right with the dark curly hair.

She selected this photo out of the “few dignified shots” she collected over the years.

She didn’t crop it.

So Bumble automatically crops it for her, by zooming on the central face they assumed is her.

Boy were they wrong.

I bet this poor girl is wondering why she’s not getting any matches…

Little does she know people instantly left swipe her because… well yeah because they think she’s a dude.

#10 What nobody told you about swiping

What if I told you there’s a best time and place to swipe?

If you have no luck on Tinder, then you’re probably not aware.

See, everyone that’s read one or more of my articles, knows to swipe selectively.

But swiping selectively isn’t always going to cut it.

Tinder also care about your exact location, and your exact timing.

They want to make sure Tinderers match active users, that can easily meet up.

So if you’re visiting good ol’ grandma all the way down at the countryside…

…well then you’re in trouble.

Here is what happens when you have swiped through the local farmer girls:

You find the hotties from a more populated place nearby.

And you swipe them right. But…

…these girls are going to get to see other guys.

The guys who are only 1 km away from them.

That’s more exciting for them. And easier to arrange a date.

Not only do the nearby guys get to cut the line.

The men who are close by AND online at the same time, cut an even bigger part of the queue.

So you’re right swiped all the way from Farmville aren’t going to harvest much.

Instead, save your time on Tinder for when you’re in a busy place, during peak activity hours.

Think of public transport times, when people leave work.

Or in the evening when girls are about to go out and party.

That’s when your likes matter.

Now go out there and make your own luck!

And don’t forget to grab my free TextGod toolkit right below here.

It contains everything you need to kick-start your journey and actually match and date fun girls!

Copy paste lines, the best opener on earth (that got more responses than any other opener), and a profile checklist to fine tune your current profile. Bang bang!

Blessings,
Louis Farfields

For more tips, check out these articles:

And don't forget your download below ;)

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Why am i having no luck with dating

See Also

• Why am i not having success with online dating
• I have no luck with online dating
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If you are newly single after being in a relationship for a long time, if you’ve been single with no luck for a long time, or if you are hovering anywhere in between, you might be wondering how to find the best dating app for you. 

Online dating can feel daunting and you may feel that the odds are stacked against you, but a 2017 study found that nearly 39% of heterosexual couples in the United States reported meeting online, up from 22% in 2009.

Whether you’re new to the game or just trying to take a new approach, here’s how to find the best dating app for you. 

8 Tips to Improve Your Dating App Etiquette

Define Your Parameters

It’s important to go into any dating situation thinking about what you’re looking to get out of it, but particularly in online dating and dating on the apps where you are literally filtering out potential matches based on the preferences you select. 

For example, if you are sober, would dating someone who had a few drinks a week be a deal-breaker for you, or vice versa? If you are religious, would a relationship with someone non-religious or outside of your religion be a non-starter for you? 

Tips to Help You Date More Mindfully

Try Different Dating Apps

It can pay off to be on several dating apps. “Some people act like they’re buying a house when they’re signing on to a dating app, like it’s such a big commitment,” says Chloe Carmichael, PhD, a psychologist and author of "Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating."

While you may be the type of person who makes decisions by creating spreadsheets, Carmichael says the best way to find out the best app for you is to just jump in and try them out. “It’s like trying on a dress—you need to actually experience it to see if it’s right for you.”

Carmichael views dating as an issue of supply and demand. You are in limited supply; you want to create demand for yourself to increase the likelihood that you meet someone. “The more we can create demand and options for ourselves, what’s to lose?” 

Should You Pay for a Dating App?

While there are many dating apps that you can access without ever paying a penny, there are also apps that either charge a full membership fee or that charge a la carte for different levels of access to features.

In a la carte situations, where paying simply boosts your profile to be seen by more people, Carmichael thinks of this similarly to advertising—“it’s just another way to create demand,” she says. 

But in a situation where, for example, a woman might pay in order to be able to extend the conversation and message a man, Carmichael just suggests that someone be aware of their values. “I have a lot of [female] clients who prefer more traditional courtships, who it might not align with their values to need to pay to have a longer time to message this man.”

Privacy Matters

If you live in a small town or work in a high-visibility field or something that might cause ethical or sticky situations seeing someone you know on an app—or being seen—you may also want to consider apps that will allow you to have a private profile or to block certain people.

How Much Effort Do You Want to Put In?

Some apps have more detailed profiles to fill out than others. Is it important to you to have a lot of conversation and information about someone before you potentially meet up, or are you the type who matches with someone and wants to quickly nail down a match and get to meeting up in person quickly?

Considering this will help as you think about how to find the best dating app for you.

For Your Approval

While many or most apps allow anyone to sign up, there are some apps that only allow users in after approval. Users create profiles that are then vetted by the staff of the apps.

“For people who are able to join—it’s a real plus,” says Carmichael. “You’re going to know you have something confirmed in common, if someone has vetted you both. You’ve gone through the vetting process and you show that you’re both invested in the process. That starts people off on common ground, which is a great place to start.”

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To Niche Or Not to Niche

While there are many larger sites and apps that you may be familiar with, if there’s a niche you can think of, there’s probably a dating site or app for it, such as Dig, a dating app for dog owners.

The advantage to niche sites, says Carmichael, is that “you know you have something in common, just as if you were to meet someone at the gym or at church. It’s nice to have something in common especially if it’s something that connects to your lifestyle and general attitudes."

If you are in a typically marginalized group that is underrepresented on dating apps—or it is important to you to date within your culture—these types of niche apps can help you separate the wheat from the chaff so that you are only seeing the type of people who interest you.

Those in marginalized groups may experience racialized sexual discriminationon apps, which adversely affects their mental health, so niche sites might feel safer for those who prefer to date within their culture or race.

You might also want to think about whether you want to be a big fish in a small pond or have a wider range of matches to choose from. Some people will get overwhelmed by having a huge dating pool while others feel like it increases their odds.

A Word From Verywell

Whether or not you're new to using dating apps, they can feel overwhelming or frustrating at times. Remind yourself that it's OK to go slowly. It's even beneficial to take a break from dating apps once in a while. However, used mindfully, dating apps can be a great way to learn more about what you desire in your dating experiences and relationships, as well as potentially meet other single people who share your values.

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