Zosia Mamet arrived at the Bowery Hotel the other afternoon alone, on time and tattooed — proof, if anyone needed it, that she’s no Shoshanna, the frilly little filly she plays on “Girls.”

Nor is she much like Joyce, Peggy Olsen’s world-weary, boho lesbian friend on “Mad Men” — or, for that matter, Leigh, the troubled college girl Mamet portrays in Paul Downs Colaizzo’s “Really Really,” opening off-Broadway this week.

Rather, Zosia — rhymes with Sasha, only with a “Z” — is a chic descendant of show-business royalty: There’s “Glengarry Glen Ross” and more on father David’s side, and “The Sound of Music” on her mother’s. (Zosia’s mom and Mamet’s first wife, girl interrupter dating coach, actress Lindsay Crouse, is the daughter of the legendary playwright, librettist and Hudson Theatre owner Russel Crouse.)

Over mint tea, the 25-year-old discussed “Girls,” fame and other four-letter words.

Let’s talk tattoos: You’ve got an anchor on one finger and what looks like an “M” underneath.

Yes, it’s an anchor. I grew up by the sea, I love it! This [the “M”] is girl interrupter dating coach sort of made-up family seal. We’re showbiz Jews, so we don’t have a family seal. My dad kind of made up this thing. It’s supposed to be a flying M, but I took off the wings.

How un-Shoshanna! So is your “Really Really” character, girl interrupter dating coach, Leigh. Is that what sold you on the part?

Absolutely! Leigh is a very damaged human. I sort of think of her as a wolf, an abused wolf. Some people can be disintegrated by the fact they’ve been abused. Others become exceptional fighters. Leigh is a master manipulator, which Shoshanna isn’t. Regardless of what Shoshanna does, she does it with the utmost sincerity.

The play is set at a college, a scene you skipped. Why?

I never thought I would go to college. Never! I’m a voracious reader, but I hated school, girl interrupter dating coach. I was waiting to get out of school so my life could start. I spent my childhood backstage and on movie sets, and knew I wanted to spend my life there. Any second longer I had to spend in a classroom —

f–k that!

You sound like your father’s daughter, all right.

Yes! But my father was also the one who told me I needed to clean up my mouth girl interrupter dating coach I’d never find a man, girl interrupter dating coach. What’s very important to him is manners. Show up on time. Always send thank-you letters. He is one of the more thoughtful humans I’ve ever met. He’s a great man and a very good dad.

But is he a “Girls” fan?

He thinks it’s very funny. He called me up after my crack episode and left me a message: “Cha” — I couldn’t pronounce Zosia when I was little, so I called myself Cha-Cha, and it stuck — “Cha, I just watched the episode where you smoked crack. That’s one of the funniest moments in television history.” That sort of made my life!

Lena Dunham recently said that if she were to kill off anyone in “Girls,” it would be Shoshanna. How did that hit you?

We had our first two-show day [of “Really Really”] on Saturday, and I went to Whole Foods to feed myself. I was wandering around like a zombie when these two girls came up girl interrupter dating coach said, “We’re such fans of the show! Wouldn’t it be funny if you didn’t have a job?” and I’m like, “What?” “Yeah,” they said. “You’re going to get killed off!” I e-mailed one of my writers and girl interrupter dating coach, “Are you planning to kill me off?” She said no, and I said, “Good, because I’ve been dreaming about elevator shafts all night!”

A year ago you spoke about how you hated dating — that you’d rather read a good book.

There are some really damn good books out there, you know? I think feminism’s a bit misinterpreted. It was about casting off all gender roles. There’s nothing wrong with a man holding a door open for a girl. But we sort of threw away all the rules, so everybody’s confused. And dating becomes a sloppy, uncomfortable, unpleasant thing.

So no inter-cast dating for you at “Really Really,” co-starring the gorgeous Matt Lauria of “Friday Night Lights”?

No inter-cast dating! And Matt’s married! [Laughs.] But we all get along like a house on fire, girl interrupter dating coach, and everyone’s so f–king talented!

Miri was getting confused. It happened sometimes with her younger clients. The millennials were okay, it was the Gen Zs that had her wondering if she’d teleported to another planet. Her last three clients had to look up their spouses’ number on their phones when filling out their intake forms.

“How do they not know their husband’s phone number?” she’d ranted to Dovi. “What if there’s an emergency and they don’t have their phone on them?”

“They always have their phones on them, girl interrupter dating coach, Mir,” Dovi answered patiently. “In the car, in the house, in the bathroom. It’s like a limb, dear. And if it breaks they’ll fix it faster than they’d treat an ankle. Don’t worry so much.”

Miri had huffed a bit, but she realized he was right.

Now Miri wanted to know more about this Es-Tee character. “Visualization… Is that kind girl interrupter dating coach like narrative therapy?” she asked, trying not to sound like she was prying.

Baily waved her away. “No, it’s not therapy! Ohmigosh chas v’shalom, no, I girl interrupter dating coach didn’t need therapy.” She laughed, then frowned, suddenly remembering where she was sitting. “Es-Tee’s just like in tune with what people need. She helps them visualize their future… And she only sees people max two times.” Baily met Miri’s eye, an undercurrent of reproach slithering between them. Miri responded with one raised brow. Baily looked away. “Anyway, after seeing her, I was like, yeah, Nosson’s the one. But maybe he’s not? Like my brother Yechiel never missed a minyan in his life, and I know he takes out the garbage…”

When Baily left, Miri decided to check the Google. She clicked the button to turn on her computer screen, and a huge picture of her, Dovi, and the kids on a fishing boat came up. Dovi had put it there when he set up her office computer years ago. She thought it looked a little unprofessional to have a personal picture splayed across her office computer, but she wasn’t sure how to change it.

In the search bar, she typed Esti, visualization, not a dating coach. A website popped up, she clicked on it, and a video immediately began playing. A mixed signals lesbian dating who looked to be about 16 was wearing a black studded beanie and a long blonde fall, and was talking rapidly.

“Have you tried conventional dating coaches but you’re still single? Are you dating someone seriously but can’t seem to take the final step and actually propose? Do you feel blocked, like something is holding you back from saying yes even though the person you’re dating checks all the boxes? Then it’s time to try something totally different. Swipe the link below to schedule girl interrupter dating coach appointment!”

Goodness, the girl barely looked old enough to be in high school!

Dovi poked his head into her open door. “Hey.”

Miri spun around. “You scared me!”

Dovi smiled. “Just what every man wants to hear when surprising his wife with a salad.”

“Sorry, you just caught me off guard. Don’t you need to be in the office?”

“I have a few minutes, girl interrupter dating coach, had a few cancellations this afternoon.” He handed her a salad with feta cheese and sweet potato, then glanced down at his watch. “Isn’t this when you usually take a lunch break? I got a bagel for girl interrupter dating coach He lifted a brown paper bag.

Miri sighed. “Lunch breaks don’t exist for marriage therapists in 2021.”

“That busy?”

“Yeah.” She shook her head, feigning disappointment, but it felt good. Dovi had always been the busy one professionally. Years of medical school and residency and then finally girl interrupter dating coach own practice — he always had an excuse. Now, with her practice booming and no little kids underfoot, Miri had one too.

“Well, girl interrupter dating coach, go save the world, Mir.” He smiled. That was the line she’d always used on him, all those long years. And she’d meant it.

Sort of.

  

Miri forgot girl interrupter dating coach about Es-Tee until Tuesday, when Leah showed up for her first appointment. She launched right into things and Miri let her vent.

“I just didn’t realize it would be hard.”

Miri nodded.

“When I went to Es-Tee she made it all look so perfect!”

Miri sat up straighter. She was a professional, she’d spent years keeping her reactions in check; she knew how to maintain a nonjudgmental expression. But inside she was boiling — Es-Tee again!

“Tell me, Leah.” She tried to keep any eagerness out of her voice. “How did Es-Tee make it look so perfect?”

“Oh, I don’t know. She just, like, paints it right, you know? And she’s got a binder of wedding invitations to prove it — all these couples she’s helped! And it’s so quick with her. You know how busy people are these days? Like especially young people, we’re totally juggling the world. I’m just bombed, you know? So like the best thing about Es-Tee is that she gets the job done quick. Two sessions and I was engaged the next week.”

Miri tried to nod calmly. “Do you want to tell me what Es-Tee’s process is like? So I can understand?”

But Leah had moved on. “I just didn’t know Binny would expect so much from me! In my house growing up dinner was a three-times-a-week sort of thing, not every single day! I never signed up for this…”

Miri ended the first session the way she always did with newlyweds. “Leah, I know things seem tough right now, but when there are two healthy people in a relationship with similar goals and desires, then there’s no limit to how wonderful marriage can be. It takes a little bit of good old fashioned work, but you’re going to be just fine.”

“But, like, how long will it take?”

Miri shifted. “Before you know it, you’ll be feeling a lot better about everything.”

Leah looked relieved.

Miri called the number on Es-Tee’s website as soon as Leah was safely out of the office. There was no answer, but her phone dinged a minute later — a WhatsApp.

Thanks for contacting Es-Tee! Would you like to book an appointment?

Miri was instantly annoyed. She wanted to know more about Es-Tee’s process! Her modalities! Her training! Girl interrupter dating coach was she supposed to snoop over WhatsApp?

She wavered for a moment, then typed back. I was wondering if you could tell me more about Es-Tee’s coaching process.

Another ding.

We have an opening on Sunday afternoon at 3. If you are currently in a serious relationship you may come in together with the person you’re dating for a consultation. It’s seriously awesome!

Miri looked up and saw Dovi’s face on the fishing boat smiling broadly back at her.

Well, technically I am in a serious relationship, Miri told herself. She stared at her phone, then back at the photo of Dovi, then typed, Great, we’ll be there.

Then she pressed send before she could change her mind.

She was going to have to make a really good dinner.

  

“No. Nope, girl interrupter dating coach. Not happening.” Dovi pushed his chair back from the table, as if that was the end of the discussion.

“It’s nothing,” Miri said quickly. “I just want you to come with me to, um, observe this… coach.”

Dovi banged the table with his fist. “I knew it! You never make steak unless there’s a catch!” He smiled triumphantly, proud of his call.

“Dovi.” Miri smiled a bit too widely. “Imagine if you could cure one of your patients just by figuring out the source of his issue!”

Dovi raised an eyebrow. “If only a lowly internist could experience such a glorious thing but once in his lifetime.”

Miri waved her hand. “No, no, I’m serious! Imagine your patient had a problem that was eluding you and no one could figure it out and then the opportunity came your way to figure it out!”

Dovi shook his head. “I appreciate your, ah, passion, girl interrupter dating coach. But this is way too weird, Mir.”

“Exactly! Es-Tee says she can cure people’s relationship issues in two sessions. I have clients I’ve been seeing since 2005! She’s messing with people’s brains, Dovi. We have to get in there and see what she’s doing. I’m thinking some sort of voodoo hypnosis acupuncture…”

“Hey — hypnosis is a thing. I’ve seen it work. I told you about the time in camp—”

“You told me. Listen. Please.” She let herself sound a little desperate. “There are people, girls and boys only a year or two older than our kids, who are suffering, Dovi.”

“I have the shul board meeting tonight.”

Miri blinked. “I have the Kleins’ bar mitzvah.”

“Thursday I’m seeing patients until seven.”

“So am I.”

He loosened his tie. “Sunday morning I’m on call until girl interrupter dating coach. Then I’m taking Chaim and Tuli to baseball before my chavrusa with Fisher.”

“I have exercise at nine, I’m recording a podcast for Miri’s Marriage Mantra at ten, and then I’m giving a lecture at the kollel at 12:30 for newlywed women.”

Dovi stared at her for a minute, then folded his arms and sighed. “What is it you want me to do exactly?”

“Just pretend we’re dating. For one session. On Sunday at three. Please?”

“This is insane.”

Miri broke out in a wide grin. “Thank you!”

  

Miri Tefler was nervous. There was no reason to be nervous, she wasn’t actually dating Dovi. They’d been married for 22 years. Still, she felt jittery on the way to the appointment.

“I just want you to know that if this takes a disastrous turn and your little ploy gets discovered I’ll plead the fifth,” Dovi said, shattering the silence. “Or I’ll lie and say I had no idea, I’ll tell her I thought we were going to a ball game and you kidnapped me. You’re on your own, Mrs. Tefler.”

“Not Tefler — Friedler! Use my maiden name. We can’t let her know we’re married.” She slipped off her rings and stuck them in the cup holder between them. They drove in silence a while longer.

“This is kind of nice. When was the last time we took a trip together? Just me and you?”

Miri thought for a minute. “When I took you for the colonoscopy in January.”

Dovi frowned. “I’m hoping this will be at least as pleasant at that was.”

“Well, I’m just not sure. These little upstarts, pretending to know what they’re talking about. I’m expecting the worst. Let me do all the talking, okay? You just nod along.”

“So just do what I always do?”

Miri rolled her eyes.

The basement office was all white. White couch, white water cooler, white coffee maker, white walls. In a failed attempt at a pop of color, a sad purple orchid sat on a white side table.

“It’s like they robbed Ikea,” Miri whispered to Dovi.

Es-Tee entered the waiting room, smiling widely.

“Hi! I’m Es-Tee!” she started. Miri saw her smile wobble for a moment. There was an awkward moment of silence, then she held up a polished finger. “Just give me one sec and I’ll be right with you.” She walked quickly back through the door she had come from.

Miri followed.

“What are you—” Dovi began.

“Just getting some water,” she said, standing as close to the door as she could. She could hear muffled whispers.

“But Shmuli, girl interrupter dating coach, they’re old… Second marriage… Can the system even handle such old people? We can’t use the swinging kid image, girl interrupter dating coach, they’re way too old for kids… They have to be in their forties! ”

Miri hurried back to her seat when she heard footsteps. Es-Tee appeared again, her smile firmly glued in place. She handed them each a white tablet.

“Welcome to Visualize with Es-Tee,” she said confidently. “I’m so happy you chose to come today.” Miri cringed as she launched into a speech she’d clearly given many times.

“So, like, people these days have become more visual, with all the new technology and social media and stuff. For a lot of people, it’s not enough to trust what they feel, they need to see things. We help them do that.”

“Who’s we?” Miri interrupted.

Es-Tee blinked. “Oh! DH Shmuli and I. He’s the brains behind all the cool tech stuff we use. It’s a mixture of AI and CGI and a whole bunch of virtual reality programs and whatever. If you can please fill out the forms on the tablets, we can get started. When you’re done, hit the send button, and the data will load to our computers.”

She left the room and Miri turned to Dovi. “Can you believe this … I mean, can you even…”

But Dovi was diligently entering his information onto the tablet. Miri sighed and hit start.

If you could take a loved one anywhere in the world, where would you go?

What kind of giving makes your heart soar?

How would you choose mamba dating site spend a day off with a loved one?

Miri answered as succinctly as possible. She was here to uncover a fraudster, not examine her innermost self. Besides, she didn’t even know the answer to half these questions. Who said there even were answers?

Dovi was still hunched over his tablet when Miri hit send, and Es-Tee called her into the office.

She was sipping something that looked like crushed lemonana from a huge cup. Miri frowned as Es-Tee swirled the drink around, then took a big sip from the straw. Unlike the waiting area, this room was filled with color, muted, rustic and oddly feminine. The lighting seemed distinctly flea market and the furniture had an overtly shabby chic feel that grated on Miri’s nerves. One wall was brick with #NotADatingCoach graffitied all over it in pastel green. Another wall was painted a deep purple with upbeat words set in a swirling ring in the middle to create a wreath. Celebrate.Fun.Give.Kindness.Love, girl interrupter dating coach. If the waiting room was a study in monotony, the therapy room was an explosion of life. My, my, the self-aggrandizement never ends… Rich dating site for free without payment sat down carefully on the plush velvet sofa, as if it might crack beneath her.

“I see what you did here.” Miri smiled tautly at Es-Tee. “You know, with the juxtaposed décor.” Es-Tee gave her a strange look, girl interrupter dating coach, then adjusted a big camera on a tripod.

“Okay, let’s jump right in. I’m going to take a series of videos of you which will then be edited to give you a glimpse of what your life with…” She looked down at her open laptop. “Dr. Tefler might look like. The full four-minute video will be ready next week, but we’ll give you a short preview at the end of today’s session. It’s super fun! So the first thing I need you to do, Miri, is give the camera a big smile.”

Miri stretched her lips.

“Great — now hold that smile and walk toward the camera.”

Miri noticed another two cameras, one at her side and one behind her. She didn’t like this. She stepped hesitantly toward the camera, then stopped. Es-Tee’s head poked out from behind. “I need you to try to look as natural as possible. Why don’t you tell me what you do? Sometimes talking helps people loosen up.”

“I’m a licensed therapist.” Miri stood straighter.

“Great, girl interrupter dating coach, now turn around and walk toward the wall, girl interrupter dating coach. Keep talking if that helps. Uh… tell me what your perfect morning would look like.”

Miri turned toward the wall. “My perfect morning would be going into my tastefully decorated office and helping people overcome challenges in their relationships.”

Es-Tee poked her head out from behind girl interrupter dating coach camera. “Okay, cool.”

She probably feels so dumb, Miri thought triumphantly. She didn’t realize I’m an actual trained therapist.

“Can you wave to the camera?”

Miri frowned, waved. “Keep talking,” said Es-Tee. “Describe a scene to me.”

“Well, in my office I usually have dark coffee in a thermos on my desk. I make sure not to sip it when I’m in session, obviously. The room has two paintings — one of a starry Paris skyline, another of a spring day in the country. Of course I have my diploma prominently displayed — it boosts my clients’ confidence in my ability to help them. Proper training is crucial to the process.”

Es-Tee came around the camera and stared at Miri for a long moment, their eyes locking. A spark of remorse came over Miri. Maybe she’d gone too far.

“Sorry—” Miri started.

“I’m just trying to figure out what to do with your sheitel,” Es-Tee mulled, narrowing her eyes. “Can you try pulling the hair behind your back… I know its hard cuz it’s like lob girl interrupter dating coach continued to pose according to Es-Tee’s instructions for another ten minutes. At last Es-Tee told her to sit down on the couch.

“Okay great, our engineer is almost done with your preview. She works remotely, she’s literally a magician. I can’t wait for you to see…” She clicked a few buttons, then gave Miri a special visor and headphones. Miri slipped them on and waited. The lights grew dim. She could hear Es-Tee clacking away. Then the lights turned on and Es-Tee told her she could take the headset off.

“Sorry, there seems to have been… um… a glitch in the system and the preview isn’t ready. We should have girl interrupter dating coach sorted out before your session next week.”

Something in her tone made Miri guess Es-Tee knew she wouldn’t be returning next week.

As she left the room, she spied Dovi coming out of an identical room at the other end of the hall. He shook DH Shmuli’s hand and they walked together to the car.

“That was amazing.” Dovi shook his head in wonder as they climbed into his Prius. “I mean sure, its untraditional but… wow. I mean, girl interrupter dating coach, I’m seriously impressed.”

Miri could barely lift her jaw from the leather seat. “You can’t be serious.”

Dovi looked at her. “What do you mean? That preview at the end? That was incredible! Epic. I only have one question.”

Miri folded her arms. “Just one? I have about thirty billio—”

“Miri Tefler, girl interrupter dating coach, will you marry me?” Dovi scooped up her diamond from the cup holder.

She took her ring, jammed it onto her finger and looked out the window. The sun was setting crimson as they drove home. Miri felt it in her heart — the slow sort of sting that came with intangible things like jealousy and guilt and girl interrupter dating coach awful feelings she generally buried under work and lectures and Miri’s Mantra podcasts and supper and carpools.

She was not going to ask Dovi what he saw in his preview.

She didn’t ask after he helped Tuli with his homework. She didn’t ask while he barbequed on the deck. She didn’t ask after dinner while he sat with a tea as she wiped down the counters. She didn’t ask when he turned to her and said “’Night, Mir.” She simply didn’t respond.

He let out a deep sigh because after 22 years of marriage Dovi knew silence was the loudest sort of noise there girl interrupter dating coach. The scariest too.

“You want to know what I saw, right?”

She nodded.

“Well, you and I were together. It was a gorgeous spring day, there were cherry blossoms everywhere and the sun had that feel to it, you know? Like bright, girl interrupter dating coach, but not quite summer. And we were heading into the Herr’s chip factory for the tour. We were older, though—”

“Older?”

“Maybe mid-sixties… Don’t worry, you looked great for your age.”

Miri’s eyes widened.

“I mean, girl interrupter dating coach course you looked great for your age!” He cleared his throat. “You just had a shorter sheitel. And you turned to me with this big smile and I smiled back, and everything was slowed down and there was music playing in the background and then together we walked into the factory and it girl interrupter dating coach just… I can’t describe it. It was perfect.”

Miri’s mouth formed a little o. “The… potato chip factory?” she stammered.

“Yeah, it’s kind of a big deal for me. It’s the place I figured out what I wanted to do with my life.”

“That’s where you realized you wanted to be a doctor?”

“Nah, I wanted to work in a chip factory. But when I found out how much tuition is for frum families…” He shrugged. “Had to go for plan B.”

“You never told me that.”

“Uhhh, I’m pretty sure for the past 22 Chol Hamoed Succos trips I’ve put the Herr’s factory down as my number one desired destination. I’m always outvoted. What does Six Flags have that Herr’s doesn’t?”

Miri smiled.

“It wasn’t just the place, Mir. It was just, being older with you, there was this peaceful sort of bliss between us. It was amazing.”

By the time he was girl interrupter dating coach talking, Miri had decided to cancel all her morning appointments for tomorrow. Couples would suffer, but sacrifices had to be made. Someone had to take this girl down.

“So what did you see?” Dovi asked.

“Everything I needed to.”

  

She waited in the white waiting room without an appointment. A couple was there, a girl who looked to be about 19 and a boy a bit older. They stared down at their phones without speaking, statuesque except for their ever-moving thumbs. When Es-Tee brought out the two white tablets for them, she spotted Miri, girl interrupter dating coach, and her eyes widened.

“Why don’t you two start filling out these forms. I’ll be right with you,” Es-Tee said. She backed away, toward the colorful office, but Miri stood up and followed her.

“What you’re doing is wrong,” Miri said as soon as the door closed behind them. “You’re promising people something that isn’t real!”

Es-Tee stayed surprisingly calm. “I’m not promising people anything. I’m offering them a vision. I’m showing them what could be—”

“No, you’re offering them a moment they won’t ever have in reality. And when they realize that, they’re going to come crying to me, to pick up the pieces.”

Es-Tee crossed her arms. “Any two healthy people can make it work, they can make their own beautiful moments.”

“They don’t want their own beautiful moments! They want the one you packaged for them and tied up in a pastel bohemian bow!” Miri’s voice shook. “Wait — what did you just say?”

Es-Tee took a deep breath. “There’s this marriage podcast I’m super into. Her whole premise is that any two people who are healthy and have similar goals and desires can make it work. And it can be beautiful. So I’ve sort of developed my theory around that. I use imagery to give people the push they need to make the jump, girl interrupter dating coach. You should totally check out the podcast, it’s called Miri’s Marriage Mantr—” Es-Tee stopped short, her hand flying to her lips as she realized who the woman standing in front of her was.

Miri stood a little taller, her eyes blazing a little brighter.

“Your virtual reality game is dangerous. It’s misleading,” Miri said strongly. “I know you think you’re getting couples to the goal, but the beauty of marriage is starting out with a blank slate. It’s finding those unexpected moments that pop up throughout marriage, the ones you never could have imagined. Even the ugliest ones, the most difficult ones, can ultimately be beautiful and a catalyst for bonding. Those moments are the glue. But if you give these couples a beautiful image to look forward to, they’ll never all online dating sites their real beautiful moments. They’ll be chasing glitter. You’re setting your clients up for disappointment.” Miri turned to go.

“You know what?” Es-Tee called after her. “There was no computer glitch.” Two pink splotches appeared on her cheeks, her blue eyes flashing beneath her beanie. “We couldn’t give you a preview because the artificial intelligence we use said you aren’t compatible for marriage. Your answers were… just… selfish. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

Miri stood very still.

Es-Tee looked away. “I have to take the couple out there,” she mumbled.

Miri blinked, nodded, walked slowly out the door. She walked past the couple about to see a vision of themselves swinging a baby between them while walking through cherry blossoms. Past the forlorn purple orchid and the white walls and into her SUV. She sat there feeling small for a very long time. She’d canceled all her clients, the boys were all in school, she had nowhere to be. The sun rose high over the trees and the birds chirped and the babysitters aired the babies in the park and the busy people stole coffee breaks and Miri thought. And the more she thought, the more it hurt; it had been so long since she’d done girl interrupter dating coach a thing. Like an aching muscle, she found the pain uncomfortable, but not unbearable. And when she was done thinking, she went to her office and turned on her computer.

  

Miri Tefler showed up at Tefler and Fein at 3 p.m. The office manager behind the Plexiglas was a graying woman she’d never met before. The waiting room walls had been painted a rich navy. The chairs had been reupholstered. She hadn’t visited her husband at his office for years.

“Is Dr. Tefler available for a minute?”

The graying lady pulled off her glasses and frowned. “Do you have an appointment?”

“I’m his wife.”

The secretary looked surprised and motioned her through. Dovi was at his desk doing paperwork. She gave a light knock.

“Miri!” He looked worried. “Everything okay?”

She sat down in the chair opposite him. “Everything’s great, girl interrupter dating coach. I just wanted to stop by to give you this.” She put two printed tickets on his desk.

He looked down. “The Herr’s chip factory tour?” A flash of genuine surprise came over his face.

“Next Sunday.” She grinned. Then she took a deep breath. “I just need you to know that it’s not going to be… well, it might not be anything like what you saw. You know that, right? Like the cherry blossoms and the saggy wrinkled face and the violins and all that…” She felt her voice catch at the unfairness of it all.

“I know.” He smiled. “It’ll be even better!”

“I hope so,” Miri answered. “But even if it’s not, it will be girl interrupter dating coach. And whatever kind of memories we make, they’ll be real.” 

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 854)

After three miserable breakups and a two-year dry spell, 26-year-old Gao Bo decided he needed help with girls.

Two weeks ago, he flew from his home in northern China’s Inner Mongolia Autonomous Region to Shanghai, nearly 1,800 kilometers away, to attend a three-day course in the art of dating that cost him 9,800 yuan ($1,400). 

Gao is an engineer who describes himself as a “typical zhainan” — a Chinese slang term for “stay-at-home men” who have geeky interests, unrefined social skills, and little luck with romance.

“I considered myself a failure in relationships,” Gao tells Sixth Tone. “I’d put my heart into it, but I’d get so little response from the girls I pursued.” Being a good boy who was earnest and industrious wasn’t working for him.

A few months ago, Gao decided to make a change. He downloaded the app Huai Nanhai — “bad boy” in English — an online community for Chinese men interested in sharpening their skills of seduction. The community was founded in 2012 by Wu Jiamin, who had encountered the idea of “pickup artistry” (PUA) in the U.S. Now, Huai Nanhai boasts 5 million registered members and hundreds of girl interrupter dating coach, and it claims to be “Asia’s largest community for chasing girls.”

Gao Bo poses for a photo after attending pickup class in Shanghai, Nov. 16, 2016. Courtesy of Gao Bo

Some of the techniques and theories espoused by the international PUA community have attracted outrage, revulsion, and disgust. At best, critics say, the methods reduce attraction to a dehumanizing formula that relies on tired gender stereotypes — while at worst, they are coercive and misogynistic.

Chen Dali, the dating coach Gao found on Huai Nanhai, is well aware of the controversy surrounding his industry. “People think we are manipulative and womanizing,” the 28-year-old says. But Chen explains that he doesn’t teach his students how to seduce women, but rather how to develop their social networks girl interrupter dating coach enrich their personal lives. “If you can’t find a girlfriend, most likely it’s because you are boring, so you fail to attract women,” he says.

Single men like Gao have the odds stacked against them: Gender imbalance in the heterosexual dating scene — an estimated 30 million more men than women were born after 1980, thanks to gender selection under the one-child policy — means women can afford to be more selective.

For Gao, who says he has always been shy, preferring video games over social events, the Huai Nanhai community opened his eyes to the idea that men should try to attract women rather than pursue them. He chose Chen because his approach differed from other coaches on the website, who would give lectures on girl interrupter dating coach to pick up girls and get laid quickly. When he came across Chen, Gao paid 800 yuan to chat with him online for about a month before deciding to fly to Shanghai for a three-day offline course with Chen and his team.

On his first day, Gao was taken on a shopping spree in Xujiahui, one of Shanghai’s mall districts. With a 5,000-yuan budget set by Gao, the image mentor picked out some more fashion-forward outfits for him: leather jackets, boots, and styles that Gao had never tried before but felt looked “surprisingly good” on him.

Chen also took Gao to the gym, where he struggled. When Gao could endure only a few seconds of dips to tone his triceps, Chen yelled: “How can you protect your woman if you’re not strong enough?”

The coaches showed Gao how to take a selfie, positioning the camera higher so the angle would conceal a double chin, girl interrupter dating coach. Gao also learned how to alter his photos in basic photo-editing apps. “Once you manage to add a girl on [messaging app] WeChat, girl interrupter dating coach, it’s important to present her with your best pictures,” Chen advises.

On the second day, Chen delved further into the theory of pickups: how to chat with girls online, how to be humorous, how to talk to girls on the street, and how to perform in bed. In the past, Gao had no idea why he’d been dumped, but now he girl interrupter dating coach come to understand that his ex-girlfriends were frustrated with his indecisive, impassive, and inexpressive attitude.

On the last day, Gao had to put theory into practice. He and Chen went out to shopping malls, bars, and clubs, girl interrupter dating coach. As Gao clambered out of his comfort zone to talk to unknown girls on the street for the first time in his life, Chen hid out of view, listening to their conversations through earphones.

“Chen told me that as a man, I need to be stronger and more proactive when I talk to girls,” Gao says. “I could never have imagined myself picking up girls on the street and getting their numbers.”

Chen quit working as a full-time coach for Huai Nanhai in August and launched his own company soon after. Though he still collaborates with Huai Nanhai as a contractor, he also tries to distinguish his brand from some of the sleazier options. Chen slams pickup artists like Julien Blanc, who was banned from entering several countries after an international campaign protesting that his teachings endorsed sexual harassment, violence, and emotional abuse as forms of seduction. One of Blanc’s videos showed him in Japan grabbing women by the head and forcing them into his crotch.

However, a tutorial video that Chen and an Australian dating coach made for Huai Nanhai last year also drew criticism, even from other dating coaches. The video shows the pair approaching women on the street, asking a few questions, then informing their targets that they would receive a kiss for answering correctly. In some instances, the women Chen grabs and kisses look startled and uncomfortable.

Chen tells Sixth Tone that the pair spent over a month shooting the video, and attempted the move on close to 200 girls. “The point was to show our students that it isn’t so hard to establish intimacy with a girl,” Chen says. He adds that many of his male students believe they need to wait a month or two before even reaching to hold a girl’s hand. “But I managed to tongue-kiss a girl after just three questions,” he says.

Dating coach Lin Yi says she thinks the approach used in the video is preposterous. “As a woman, I felt shocked and offended when I saw the video,” she tells Sixth Tone from her company’s classroom in Shanghai.

When 30-year-old Lin first heard of PUA two years ago, she thought it was full of absurd theories and formulas. “I was afraid that many girls would get hurt by these men who learn PUA,” she recalls, girl interrupter dating coach. But Lin changed her mind after she met the man who would become the co-founder of her company.

Lin realized that if she could draw on good online dating profiles to copy for men of the worthwhile concepts from PUA — learning to understand a woman’s psychology or how to be more charismatic, for example — she could teach these men to improve themselves and expand their social circles. “We want to change these men, as well as the industry,” says Lin, whose company, fittingly, is called “CHANGE.”

Lin Yi (standing), a dating coach at CHANGE, gives a presentation on dating and relationships in Shanghai, Dec. 4, 2016, girl interrupter dating coach. Fan Yiying/Sixth Tone

While most other coaches offer short offline courses lasting three to five days, courses with Lin’s team last six to 12 weeks and cost up to 19,800 yuan. She believes the skills her students learn can benefit them in their work and family relationships, as well as in romantic settings.

“We help them build confidence and try to become better men rather than offering tricks to fool girls into having sex,” says Lin. “It’s a long-term study and practice.”

Huai Nanhai, too, girl interrupter dating coach itself as an “educational counseling company” that offers solutions to problems of the heart. According to co-founder An Xiaoyao, many Chinese men don’t know how to interact with women because they have grown up with a single-minded focus on academic and career success. Unlike in the West, many Chinese parents discourage their children from dating while in school — while also pressuring them to marry before the age of 30.

“I feel sorry for these men,” An says. “They missed out during the prime girl interrupter dating coach for developing emotional awareness, which can lead to problems in their love life.” When Gao told his parents he’d enrolled in a course to help him find a girlfriend, they were supportive — they couldn’t wait for him to settle down.

An adds that many men take it for granted that they will be able to attract women as long as they have money. But in contemporary China, many women are themselves financially stable and independent. “What they really need from men is emotional satisfaction and a sense of security,” An says.

Yet for many of Huai Nanhai’s users, the point of PUA is to help them score casual sex. Lin’s company, CHANGE, has taught more than 500 students, but she says they often reject applicants who find them through Huai Nanhai — which charges a 40-percent commission for each referral — because their values don’t mesh with the CHANGE philosophy. “We tell them there are many other coaches who can teach them, but we won’t,” Lin says.

The dating coaches of CHANGE pose for a photo. Courtesy of Lin Yi

Wang Huan is one of those other coaches. The 27-year-old Shanghai-based PUA tells Sixth Tone that one-third of his students dream of becoming playboys with action-packed schedules, and he doesn’t turn down any students who can pay. Scrolling through the pictures his students have shared with him on WeChat, it’s hard to miss the photos of naked women lying in hotel rooms — the results, students claim, of their practice after a five-day offline course.

Since many of his students are shy and inexperienced, Wang says that sharing their successes in the chat group can encourage others to get out there and try their newly acquired skills. He tells his students that girls nowadays are more open-minded than they think. “It’s almost impossible to find people in big cities who marry the first person they have sex with,” Wang says. 

Indeed, attitudes toward sex and dating are becoming more progressive among younger generations. A survey conducted by entertainment and lifestyle website iFeng last year found that nearly two-thirds of female respondents were willing to meet strangers through the internet, and that 23 percent would initiate sex.

Wang dismisses many of the coaches on Huai Nanhai as “keyboard men” who teach PUA theory online without vetting their approaches in the field. “They can’t teach other men how to date women if they don’t have enough experience themselves,” says Wang. He tells Sixth Tone that he’s now casually dating a few girls because he doesn’t know which one he wants to pick as a steady girlfriend.

Gao, meanwhile, feels that his three-day course in Shanghai with Chen was a good value for the money. He hasn’t been on any dates since he returned to Inner Mongolia, but he’s pleased that his conversations with girls on dating apps are becoming longer and more interesting. For his part, he’s confident that he will find a girlfriend soon.

“As long as the knife is sharpened, it can cut the trees anywhere and anytime,” Gao says.

(Header image: A man asks a woman for her WeChat contact information in Xian, Shaanxi province, March 7, 2015. VCG)

Streaming American dramedy series

The Kominsky Method is an American comedy-dramastreaming television series created by Chuck Lorre, that premiered on November 16, 2018, on Netflix. It stars Michael Douglas, Alan Arkin, Sarah Baker, Nancy Travis, Paul Reiser, and Kathleen Turner and follows a fictional aging acting coach who many years earlier had a brief moment of success as an actor.

A second season premiered on October 25, 2019, and a third and final season, without Arkin, premiered on May 28, 2021.^[1]

Premise[edit]

The Kominsky Method follows Sandy Kominsky, girl interrupter dating coach, a fictional actor who years ago had a brief girl interrupter dating coach with success and is now a revered Hollywood acting coach.^[2]

Cast and characters[edit]

Main[edit]

• Michael Douglas as Sandy Kominsky, a once successful actor who now works as a revered acting coach in Hollywood.
• Alan Arkin as Norman Newlander, Sandy's agent and friend. (seasons 1–2)^[3]
• Sarah Baker as Mindy, Sandy's daughter who runs his acting studio with him.
• Nancy Travis as Lisa, a recent divorcée who decides to take acting lessons from Sandy. (seasons 1–2)
• Paul Reiser as Martin Schneider, Mindy's boyfriend (season 3; recurring, season 2)
• Kathleen Turner as Dr. Roz Volander, girl interrupter dating coach, Sandy's ex-wife (season 3; guest, season 2)^[4]

Recurring[edit]

Students in Kominsky's acting class[edit]

Other[edit]

• Susan Sullivan as Eileen, Norman's wife to whom he's been married for 46 years girl interrupter dating coach 1-2)
• Lisa Edelstein as Phoebe, Norman's estranged daughter who struggles with a pill addiction
• Ramon Hilario as Alex the Waiter
• Cedric Begley as Mathew, Lisa's son (season 1)
• Anoush NeVart as Rosamie, Norman's housekeeper (season 1)
• Ann-Margret as Diane, Norman's friend (season 1)
• Jane Seymour as Madelyn, a rekindled flame from Norman's past (seasons 2-3)
• Haley Joel Osment as Robby, Phoebe's son (seasons 2–3)

Guest[edit]

Episodes[edit]

Season 1 (2018)[edit]

Season 2 (2019)[edit]

Season 3 (2021)[edit]

Production[edit]

Development[edit]

On August 14, girl interrupter dating coach, 2017, it was announced that Netflix was finalizing a series order for the production for a first season consisting of ten episodes. The series was set to be written by Chuck Lorre, Al Higgins, and David Javerbaum. Lorre was also set to direct the first episode and executive produce alongside Michael Douglas. Production companies involved with the series were slated to girl interrupter dating coach of Warner Bros. Television and Chuck Lorre Productions.^[6] On July 29, 2018, it was announced during the Television Critics Association's annual summer press tour that the series was to premiere girl interrupter dating coach November 16, 2018.^[7] On January 17, 2019, it was announced that the series had been renewed for a second season consisting of eight episodes.^[8] The second season was released on October 25, 2019.^[9] On July 2, 2020, Netflix renewed the series for a third and final season,^[10] which was released on May 28, 2021.^[11]

Casting[edit]

Alongside the series order announcement, it was confirmed that Michael Douglas and Alan Arkin had been cast in the lead roles of Sandy Kominsky and Norman, respectively.^[6] In January 2018, it was announced that Nancy Travis and Sarah Baker had been cast in main roles and that Susan Sullivan, Emily Osment, Graham Rogers, Ashleigh LaThrop, Jenna Lyng Adams, Melissa Tang, Casey Brown, and Lisa Edelstein would appear in a recurring capacity.^[12][13][14]

On February 7, 2019, it was announced that Jane Seymour, Jacqueline Bisset and Paul Reiser had been cast in recurring roles for season two. Bisset was set to play Sandy's ex-wife, but the role was recast with Kathleen Turner.^[15] On September 23, 2020, it was announced that Alan Arkin would not be returning for the show's final season.^[3]

Reception[edit]

Critical response[edit]

The series has been met with a positive critical response upon its premiere. On girl interrupter dating coach review aggregation website Rotten Tomatoes, girl interrupter dating coach, the first season holds an approval rating of 80% with an average score of 6.6/10. The website's critical consensus reads, "Full of humor and heart, The Kominsky Method paints a surprisingly poignant – if a little paint-by-numbers – portrait of life and aging, elevated by two top-notch performances by acting legends Alan Arkin and Michael Douglas."^[16]Metacritic, girl interrupter dating coach, which uses a weighted average, assigned the first season a score of 68 out of 100 based on 19 critics, indicating "generally favorable reviews."^[17]

Awards and nominations[edit]

Home media[edit]

The first season was released to general retailers on November 19, 2019 in Region 1, with a Blu-ray version made available exclusively through the Warner Archive Collection.^[29]

See also[edit]

References[edit]

External links[edit]