Committee Member

Karen Saules, Ph.D., Chair

Abstract

Weight stigma refers to biased treatment or attitudes based on weight. This has been documented to occur in a variety of settings (including relationships) and can result in many negative consequences, but its impact in the contemporary online dating arena is largely unexplored. Therefore, Study 1 of this project examined who experiences weight stigma in online dating and what factors predicted weight stigma. It was hypothesized that a) women would be more likely than men to experience weight stigma; b) compassion, beliefs about obese persons, attitudes toward obese persons, social dominance orientation, narcissism, objectification, self-classification of overweight status, and internalized weight bias would predict likelihood of engaging in weight bias. Study 2 examined attribute trade theory in weight stigma and online dating. It was hypothesized that a) women would need more positive attributes to mitigate overweight status than would men; b) compassion, beliefs about obese persons, attitudes toward obese persons, social dominance orientation, narcissism, objectification, self-classification of overweight status, and internalized weight bias would moderate the relationship between the proportion of expected profile “hits” and the number of factors present that may potentially mitigate weight bias. Data were analyzed via logistic and multiple regressions. In Study 1, variables that predicted weight stigma included anonymous feedback condition, photo weight status, female gender of participants, and thinking of oneself as overweight. In a final regression model, self-classified weight, feedback condition, attitudes toward obese persons, and self-objectification predicted weight bias above and beyond photo weight status. In Study 2, there were no interaction effects, but there were main effects for mitigating factors, beliefs about obese persons, self-objectification, attitudes toward obese persons, and photo gender. Findings illustrated that weight bias appears to occur in online dating scenarios, though some factors may help offset the weight status of the individual.

Recommended Citation

Sienko, Rachel, "An examination of attribute trade and weight stigma in online dating" (2017). Master's Theses and Doctoral Dissertations. 740.
https://commons.emich.edu/theses/740

Bad news: if you're wondering why you're striking out lately on Tinder, new research suggests it might be because you're trying unsuccessfully to punch above your weight.

In a new study published in the journalScience Advances, Elizabeth Bruch, associate professor​ of complex systems and sociology at the University of Michigan, and her colleagues surveyed 187,000 heterosexual users on a "popular, free online dating service" (which could not be named due to an NDA) in New York, Chicago, Seattle, and Boston, and found that both men and women tend to pursue partners who are, on average, about 25 percent more desirable than they are.

The consequences of this aspirational approach to the online dating market is severe, given that "the probability of receiving a response to an advance drops markedly with increasing difference in desirability between the pursuer and the pursued," the paper reads. "Men are more than twice as likely to receive a reply from women less desirable than themselves than from more desirable ones, and for messages sent to more desirable women, the reply rate never rises above 21%. Yet, the vast majority of men send messages to women who are more desirable than themselves, on average. Messaging potential partners who are more desirable than oneself is not just an occasional act of wishful thinking; it is the norm."

Now, "desirability" is not as easy to scientifically quantify as weight or height, but the researchers employed the same algorithm that Google's search engine uses and analyzed how many messages a user receives as way of giving them a desirability score. But the researchers also argue that, by and large, people know when they're messaging someone out of their league, they just do it anyway because not getting a response from someone super attractive on an online dating site hurts a lot less than getting turned down in real life.

"The costs of being aspirational are so low in this context—in contrast to pursuing partners in person, where the rejection really stings," Eli Finkel, a professor of psychology and management at Northwestern University who was not involved in this study, told CNN. "In online dating, you can't tell how much attention anybody's getting, which means that too many of us are pursuing too few potential partners—those who [look] appealing in their photographs and profile. This is one of the concerns I've long had about online dating."ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb

Indeed, this is one of the reasons game theory cannot really be applied to online dating, given that it necessitates a finite amount of options. In real-world dating, you might see 10 women at a bar, and analyze which one you have the best chances with given her desirability and the amount of men who are already trying to get her number, and thereby limit yourself to the potential match with whom you'd have the best success. But, in online dating, it's impossible to know how much competition you have (though this is a clinical feature that dating sites may want to add in the future). According to the paper, you'd be surprised at how many messages some users receive. The most popular individual in the study was a 30-year-old woman living in New York, who received 1,504 messages during the period of observation, equivalent to one message every 30 min, day and night, for the entire month.

One of my male friends, who is in his early 20s, said that he would never pursue a woman in a real-life setting, because, "in a bar, you can only hit on one women at a time, whereas, online, I can hit on several woman simultaneously." While this sounds like a good idea in theory, the paper confirms that, in practice, this is not the best mathematical strategy for getting a date.

After all, previous research on mate value has found that, when it comes to long-term relationships at least, the most successful pairings occur between people who have a similar desirability score. By constantly punching above their weight, online dating users may be dooming themselves to an endless cycle of unanswered messages and first dates where the other person is not that impressed. Perhaps that's why a recent report found that the success rate on Tinder for casual sex is actually surprisingly low.

Some of the other depressing findings of the study was that female desirability drips with age, whereas male desirability increases. Specifically, the "average woman's desirability drops from the time she is 18 until she is 60," whereas, for men, "desirability peaks around 50 and then declines." It also found that "desirability is associated with education most strongly for men, for whom more education is always more desirable," but, for women, "an undergraduate degree is most desirable, and a postgraduate education is associated with decreased desirability among women." So much for all that fanfare surrounding that survey that said men are increasingly more interested in women with high-powered jobs.

While the study found that users tend to put more effort into their messages when pursuing a more desirable partner, typically composing longer and more thoughtful replies, the outcome of this is almost negligible. Interestingly enough, the study did find that "men experience slightly lower reply rates when they write more positively worded messages," which "may offer a hint about why men tend to write somewhat less positive messages to more desirable partners."

If you're feeling demoralized by all of this, it's worth noting that there is some recent research to indicate that human beings have made some positive progress as a culture when it comes to dating. One recent study found that women are no longer interested in flashy men. Several studies have noted that emotional intelligence is beneficial for men both in relationships and casual flings. And new research indicates that, as a woman, your days of "playing-hard-to-get" should be numbered. And if you're looking to boost your success rate in the world of online dating, check out how I Hired an Online Dating Coach and This Is What I Learned.

To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, click here to sign up for our FREE daily newsletter! 

Diana Bruk

Diana is a senior editor who writes about sex and relationships, modern dating trends, and health and wellness. Read more

According to a newspaper called Denver Post (USA), a survey conducted revealed that most women are afraid to meet a serial killer online and for the men, well its meeting a woman who turns out to be fat?

Yeah you read that right. We may say that we are part of 21^st century and we are broad minded, educated individuals but when it comes to dating or just being friends with someone who is a little overweight, online. I repeat online. Not many of us would be ok with it. No, I am not body shaming, just speaking out the truth perhaps and again not everyone is the same.

Some like me would believe looks fade it’s the person’s character is what remains and hey! Why can’t someone be fat and pretty? Why can’t someone be anorexic and beautiful ? I personally find it so weird when people say you are not fat, you are beautiful, well why can’t one be both?

Let’s look into some popular dating or socializing apps like tinder or Ok Cupid, how hard is it for a person who is NOT so confident about their body to create and build their profile online. Why? Because they will solely be judged on their profile pictures first and then comes the bio. Most of them will just swipe left looking into the profile picture only and miss looking into the bio.

We live in an era where people become models on Instagram and Facebook. Teenagers, adults have become so insecure looking at what people post online. But the truth is people are NOT what they post online. It’s merely just a part of their life.

Looks have become so important that we have forgotten what lies beyond the face, people are more than what they wear, people are more than just that body or that face.

Let’s look into what it’s like to be fat girl looking for matches on a popular dating website. First thing is she will get messages of two sorts. One, undoubtedly body shaming, being called fat and all those horrible names. The other type of messages are guys saying how she isn’t just a bag of bones and how they like ‘thick’ girls. It is all going to be based on looks and no time to look into what the girl actually is all about. What her favorite book is, what kind of movies does she watch, what series is she currently hooked onto, how her eyes sparkle when she sees a cute dog, how cute her nails have been done, how much she admires Einstein because he found out the theory of relativity that changed the whole course of physics, or how well her buttercream frosting comes out. All this is just a small part of what a girl can be. And we choose to judge a girl based on her weight?

Will there ever come a time when people will stop prioritizing looks and actually see how she or he as a person is? Looks are of course a bonus that come with the person. Imagine someone having a really pretty face and also have a good soul that comes with it. I am sure there are a lot of people out there who are lucky and privileged to have both. But our main focus is on online dating and online dating websites now. Here you are what you post. Of course you can have a catchy bio but in the end they are going to swipe right based on your profile picture first.

This is where Blind Meet comes to rescue. Why not meet? And then get to know one another?.

You may find a soulmate, a lover or a friend for a lifetime. These meets will help people overcome the stigma that is related to weight. Once they meet a girl or even a guy who does not exactly is picture perfect, in other words is underweight or overweight. They get an opportunity to look beyond their profile picture, look beyond their looks and that person can show who they truly are.

And even then if they reject that person in spite of them being wonderful and lovely in person just because they are too fat or too thin, then it’s their loss.

So start meeting and stop swiping. Try Blind Meet.

LISTEN NOW:
iTunes

A whopping 70% of online daters lie in their dating profile, mostly about height, weight and age, says relationship and online dating expert Dr. Jess Carbino. But only major exaggerations seem to matter much to people using the platforms.

Dr. Jess, a PhD sociologist, has researched how people create their own personal storefront and romantic brand to attract the attention of potential mates on dating sites like Tinder and Bumble. She’s found some surprising differences in how men and women personally brand themselves and behave on dating platforms.

• Men swipe right much more often: Jess says that’s unfortunate, because it often leads to a disconnect about male daters’ true level of interest in meeting some of the women they’ve swiped right on. The average swipe-right ratio for women on Tinder or Bumble is about 40%. For men, it’s four. While women swipe more deliberately, men can’t afford to be so discriminating.

• Instagram has led to deceptive behavior: Jess thinks Instagram has led people to feel they can’t upload profile photos that show how they look in real life, and she suspects a significant number of profile photos have been Photoshopped to some degree. Just like on Instagram, online daters tend to post pictures of the kind of lifestyle they aspire to rather than the kind they lead.

• Both sexes stick to gender stereotypes: Jess analyzed 12,000 photos that women used on a dating app and found that not one showed the woman wearing a long-sleeve button-down shirt. In real life, women are wearing traditional men’s styles much more frequently than in decades past, but on dating sites, they’re overwhelmingly marketing themselves in traditionally feminine styles that may not match the way they dress every day. Men typically try to present themselves more seriously through the clothing they wear in profile photos.

• Men and women are looking for different qualities in a romantic partner: “I want to find someone who’s kind” is one of the top phrases that women use when describing their ideal male romantic partner. Meanwhile, men are driven to find somebody who’s interesting and easygoing, Dr. Jess says.

Ghosting is a real problem in the online dating world, one that Dr. Jess has researched. To hear what her research uncovered, listen to the episode.

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If you’ve ever been on an online date, you know that something about your first date is going to surprise you. They’re bound to be taller than you imagined them, or balder, or have a lisp, or be much … bigger … than their pictures suggested. This last in particular is a common complaint, and the refrain in online dating horror stories is more often than not, “She/he must’ve been a hundred pounds heavier than I expected!”

When you first consider it, it just seems weird that people would misrepresent themselves online to people who they’re planning to meet in person. (Do they think you’re not going to notice that you’re very different from your pictures?) But there are actually several factors at play. First, the internet can be a nasty place, and people already feel very vulnerable on dating sites. No one wants to be ignored and rejected, so it can be tempting to put your best foot forward and leave the rest of your body out of it. Second, some people have extremely skewed body images. A girl who’s recently gained a lot of weight might still see herself as a skinny college chick, or a guy who’s packed on football season pounds might not bother to mention it because he knows he always loses it after the playoffs. Finally, online dating sites ask users to identify with vague descriptive words that have different meanings to different people. One guy’s “curvy” may be another guy’s “few extra pounds,” and  “Athletic” is a fair characterization of both a stick-skinny long-distance runner and a hulking competitive bodybuilder. Those descriptions ask people to describe themselves as they think other people see them … and this isn’t always an easy task.

There are definitely people online who misrepresent themselves intentionally, but there are also lots of people who give you the wrong impression without even realizing they’re doing it. One single man Alan mentioned that he looked different in his pictures since he lost 110 pounds by using body detoxification to lose weight naturally. But it wasn’t just the obvious weight loss that made a difference in how he looked. A term even exists to identify the phenomenon: Secret Internet Fatties (or SIFs) are one of the most oft-mentioned dangers of using popular dating sites. The title’s not nice, but it indicates the widespread nature of the internet honesty problem.

For all of the reasons listed above, online dating can require a lot of detective work. The most direct approach would be to ask your date straight up questions about their weight or request that they send you a full body shot, but this seems too forward or rude to many online daters. Instead, use these subtle tactics to get a clearer picture of what your online paramour looks like before you meet.

Identify Red Flags

Sometimes, you can clue in to whether or not someone is intentionally deceiving you by gathering clues from their profile. Look out for the following:

• Trick Photography: Profiles that are full of Facebook angles (extreme angles taken from above, looking down) should raise the alarms. So should Fish Face (kissyfaced shots designed to create the illusion of hollower cheekbones.) Heavily, annoyingly Photoshopped pictures that disguise the person’s natural appearance also fall under this category.
• Lack of full body shot: If your date has a profile with ten pictures and none of them are body shots (or their body shots appear to be from their high school prom), they may be misleading you. Body shots that crop out half of the body – making it impossible to see how wide said body is – are also bad news, as are close-ups. Girls who are carrying a few extra pounds sometimes show off the “assets” the extra weight gives them, but fail to post pics of their entire body, allowing you to imagine that those huge boobs come with a teeny tiny waist … just like in porn!
• Tendency to exaggerate or gloss over important facts: If you notice that your date embellishes certain facts or you’ve caught them in outright lies before, you should expect that they’re misrepresenting their appearance to you, too.

Ask the Right Questions

You can gain lots of information about your date’s appearance by asking simple, fact-based questions. You can’t suss out someone’s actual size or body type from asking one question, so be careful not to jump to conclusions. But asking a series of the right questions can help you gain insight into what sort of body they have, and (perhaps even more importantly) how they view their body and treat it.

• Ask them when their pics were taken.You can do this with subtlety and tact. Ask them at what event a certain photo was taken, and get the details surrounding it. Then ask them to remind you when that event took place. (“This is at your sister’s birthday party… last year, you said?”) If one of their pictures looks particularly dated, ask them if that picture is older than the rest. Some people post one or two really old pics because they’re flattering or because they have great memories associated with them. Asking is a quick way to figure out whether all of their snaps are from their glory days, or if there’s just one oldie-but-goodie mixed in with recent shots.
• Ask them about the physical activities they like to do.This one comes with a big flashing warning that some fat people do exercise. Don’t assume that a girl who mentions the gym is a hardbody (or that a guy who confesses to a homoerotic relationship with Ben & Jerry is a tubbo, for that matter). You can ask specific questions about how often their soccer league trains or whether or not they think a hiking date would be fun to gauge their approach to fitness and health. You can also mention the sorts of activities you do yourself and see if they seem flabbergasted that anyone could run five miles or commit to hitting the gym twice a week.
• Ask them what kind of clothing they like and where they shop.If a girl says she shops at The Avenue, Torrid, or Lane Bryant, she’s telling you that she’s size 14+. If she’s vague about her clothing preferences, it might be because she just doesn’t really care about fashion, or it might be that she doesn’t want to fess up to shopping at Dress Barn. (Actual store. Ugh.). But the way someone talks about the clothing they wear can tell you a lot about their personal style and body image, and this can be hugely important.  (I know several guys who date primarily skinny girls, but they’re happy to expand their boundaries for a sexy, confident bigger girl who dresses to kill and takes great care of herself.)
• Ask them about their favorite and least favorite physical features.This isn’t really a first convo question, but if you’ve already talked to someone a few times and are planning to meet, it’s not out of line to flirtatiously boast about a feature you love about yourself and ask them what their favorite feature is. This gives them a chance to flirt and preen a little bit. If you follow up by asking about their least favorite feature, they may be more inclined to be honest because you’ve given them a chance to boast before revealing a flaw. Some people will dodge this question, but others will be very frank. You can expect a lame, uninformative answer from a pretty high percentage of people, but there are also lots that will come right out and say, “I inherited my mom’s big ass” or “I’ve gained weight and I’d really like to lose it.”

Encourage Honesty

If you still don’t have a clear picture of your date’s appearance, and you suspect that they may have something to hide, you can help them come clean to you by giving them good reasons to be honest. Here’s how:

• Make it clear the deceit is a HUGE turnoff.Many internet fibbers find themselves trapped in lies that they initially only told to protect themselves from public rejection and ridicule. (You would not believehow cruel people can be to overweight or unattractive people on dating sites.) Once your date has misled you — either intentionally or accidentally — they may feel like it would be awkward to fess up after you’ve already started talking, so they just wait until you meet in person. This is clearly the worst possible approach, but internet lies have a snowbally character, and it can be hard to find a good time to let someone know that their perception of you is incorrect. Nip fibs in the bud by turning the conversation to what you each value most in a relationship, and making it clear that your number one priority is honesty. Tell your date that you’ve run into lots of internet dishonesty in the past, and that you get why people lie online, but make it very clear that you think any fibs must be resolved before you meet someone in person. By reminding them that you don’t expect perfection, but that being lied to is intolerable, you give them a very good reason to be honest with you about anything they might be fibbing about, and you also give them a very good opening to bring it up. You can even jokingly follow up with “So, if you have three eyeballs or anything, now’s the time to tell me!”
• State your own preferences. If you know that no matter what, you won’t be comfortable dating someone overweight, make that clear to your date before you meet. Give them the chance to be honest with you by being totally up front about what you are attracted to and what’s a dealbreaker. Remember that your statements should be framed as yourpersonal preference, not a moral judgment about a group of people you’re not attracted to. (You can’t expect someone to come clean to you about a few extra pounds when you’ve ranted to them about how disgusting and lazy fat people are. Also, even if they’re thin, their best friend may be overweight, and they’re still going to think you’re a Judgy McJudgerson.) When you’re talking about sports or hobbies, say, “Fitness is hugely important to me. I have some friends who are overweight, and I have no problem with it, but I know I’d have real trouble dating someone with a few extra pounds on unless they were committed to losing it. Do you know what I mean?” By broaching the subject directly (but hypothetically) you’re giving your date a great opening to be honest, and giving them a chance to avoid a potentially awkward situation.
• Ask for more pictures.I’ve been told by online daters that they’re afraid to ask for more pics because they think it might be rude. It’s not rude if you’re actually planning to meet someone in person, since you’ll know what they look like soon enough! Pictures are a preview, and nothing more. Be flattering and direct. Say, “I love the pics you have on your profile. Do you have any more you could link or email me?” Be polite, ask casually, and don’t press the issue if they seem uncomfortable. If they decline to send more photos, say, “No problem.” You’re in no worse position than you were before you asked. If they do send you pics, you’ve gotten even more info about how they look! Asking if they have any more pics shouldn’t be awkward. It’s win-win. You can also friend them on Facebook or ask for their MySpace address, as it’s likely that they’ll be tagged in pictures they didn’t include in their online dating profile.

When all else fails, Google them

• This may seem like a no-brainer to younger, techier types, but chances are that there’s a plethora of information about your date available online. Google them  using first/last name and location, and see what comes up under the “Images” tab of your search.  They may have photos posted publicly that aren’t on their profile, and even if they don’t, chances are you’ll learn something about them that they haven’t mentioned to you. (Whether or not you disclose the googling to your date is up to you. I find it flattering when a prospective date googles me, but other people are less comfortable with our show-and-tell world, so consider yourself warned!).

These tips should help you gain a more comprehensive picture of the person you’re planning to meet. Remember to stay polite, honest and thoughtful, since that’s what you’re trying to help your date do! If you ask the right questions, pay attentions to the signals they’re sending, and let them know that openness and honesty are important to you, you should have more than enough info about your date to feel comfortable going into the first meeting.

Committee Member

Karen Saules, Ph.D., Chair

Abstract

Weight stigma refers to biased treatment or attitudes based on weight. This has been documented to occur in a variety of settings (including relationships) and can result in many negative consequences, but its impact in the contemporary online dating arena is largely unexplored. Therefore, Study democrats only dating sites of this project examined who experiences weight stigma in online dating and what factors predicted weight stigma. It was hypothesized that a) women would be more likely than men to experience weight stigma; b) compassion, beliefs about obese persons, attitudes toward obese persons, social dominance orientation, narcissism, objectification, self-classification of overweight status, and internalized weight bias would predict likelihood of engaging in weight bias. Study 2 examined attribute trade theory in weight stigma and online dating. It was hypothesized that a) women would need more positive attributes to mitigate overweight status than would men; b) compassion, beliefs about obese persons, attitudes toward obese persons, social dominance orientation, narcissism, objectification, self-classification of overweight status, and internalized weight bias would moderate the relationship between the proportion of expected profile “hits” and the number of factors present that may potentially mitigate weight bias. Data were online dating abd weight via logistic and multiple regressions. In Study 1, online dating abd weight, variables that predicted weight stigma included online dating abd weight feedback condition, photo weight status, female gender of participants, and thinking of oneself as overweight. In a final regression model, self-classified weight, online dating abd weight, feedback condition, attitudes toward obese persons, and self-objectification predicted weight bias above and beyond photo weight status. In Study 2, there were no interaction dating older white women, but there were main effects for mitigating factors, beliefs about obese persons, online dating abd weight, self-objectification, attitudes toward obese persons, and photo gender. Findings illustrated that weight bias appears to occur in online dating scenarios, though some factors may help offset the weight status of the individual.

Recommended Citation

Sienko, Rachel, "An examination of attribute trade and weight stigma in online dating" (2017). Master's Theses and Doctoral Dissertations. 740.
https://commons.emich.edu/theses/740

According to a newspaper called Denver Post (USA), a survey conducted revealed that most women are afraid to meet a serial killer online and for the online dating abd weight, well its meeting a woman who turns out to be fat?

Yeah you read that right, online dating abd weight. We may say that we are part of 21^st century and we are broad minded, educated individuals but when it comes to dating or just being friends with someone who is a little overweight, online. I repeat online. Not many of us would be ok with it. No, I am not body shaming, just speaking out the truth perhaps and again not everyone is the same.

Some like me would believe looks fade it’s the person’s character is what remains and hey! Why can’t someone be fat and pretty? Why can’t online dating abd weight be anorexic and beautiful ? I personally online dating abd weight it so weird when people say you are not fat, you are beautiful, well why can’t one be both?

Let’s look into some popular dating or socializing apps like tinder or Ok Cupid, how hard is it for a person who is NOT so confident about their body to create and build their profile online. Why? Because they will solely be judged on their profile pictures first and then comes the bio. Most of them will just swipe left looking into the profile picture only and miss looking into the bio.

We live in an era where people become models on Instagram and Facebook, online dating abd weight. Teenagers, adults have become so insecure looking at what people post online. But the truth is people are NOT what they post online. It’s merely just a part of their life.

Looks have become so important that we have forgotten what lies beyond the face, people are more than what they wear, people are more than just that body or that face.

Let’s look into what it’s like to be fat girl looking for matches on a popular dating website. First thing is she will men dating younger women jealous messages of two sorts. One, undoubtedly body shaming, being called fat and all those horrible names. The other type of messages are guys saying how she isn’t just a bag of bones and how they like ‘thick’ girls. It online dating abd weight all going to be based on looks and no time to look into what the girl actually is all about. What her favorite book is, what kind of movies does she watch, what series is she currently hooked onto, how her eyes sparkle when she sees a cute dog, how cute her nails have been done, how much she admires Einstein because he found out the theory of relativity that changed the whole course of physics, or how well her buttercream frosting comes out. All this is just a small part of what a girl can be. And we choose to judge a girl based on her weight?

Will there ever come a time online dating abd weight people will stop prioritizing looks and actually see how she or he as a person is? Looks are of course a bonus that come with the person. Imagine someone having a really pretty face and also have a good soul that comes with it. I am sure there are a lot of people out there who are lucky and privileged to have both. But our main focus is on online dating and online dating websites now. Here you are what you post. Of course you can have a catchy bio but in the end they are going to swipe right based on your profile picture first.

This is where Blind Meet comes to rescue. Why not meet? And then get to know one another?.

You may find a soulmate, a lover or a friend for a lifetime. These meets will help people overcome the stigma that is related to weight. Once they meet a girl or even a guy who does not exactly is picture perfect, in other words is underweight or overweight. They get an opportunity to look beyond their profile picture, look beyond their looks and that person can show who they truly are.

And even then if they reject that person in spite of them being wonderful and lovely in person just because they are too fat or too thin, then it’s their loss.

So start meeting and stop swiping. Try Blind Meet.

When rpg dating app date online, you have a lot of information readily available to you before you even say hello. Depending on the information he's willing to plug into his profile, you may already know his religious and political views, his stance on Fido, his favorite movie, and his height and weight. But seriously, unless your first date involves a seesaw, is this last piece of info really important?

Mariah is all about body confidence, and I'm sure Nick loves her for it!

To be fair, I have my weight published on my profile. Even though my mother was appalled when I told her that it was (she told me I was deliberately trying to sabotage my dating life), my feeling is this: If a guy is going to judge me by the number on the scale, he's not someone I want to be with anyway.

That said, when I see a guy's stats online online dating abd weight realize he may be online dating abd weight pounds lighter than me, I always worry a little. Will he think I'm fat? Will I crush him? Does he like bigger girls? It's funny: I start to feel a little self-conscious online dating abd weight worry more about what* he'll* think of me than what I think of him.

My friend Adam is on match.com too, and we like to keep each other updated about our adventures in online dating, online dating abd weight. When I asked him what his guy view was regarding this scenario, he had the best answer!

me: i'm self-conscious because this guy is thinner than me

__Adam:__take it from someone who is thinner than everyone we don't care, seriously

It made me feel a hundred times better. It also made me realize I was worried about the guy's pudge more because of how it made me feel dating sites for 50 plus myself, which is silly. So I'm not limiting myself anymore to guys who weigh more than me. Besides, with my awesome cooking abilities, I can always work on fattening them up, right?

Is your guy thinner than you? Do you care about a guy's weight, does the number really matter? Do you post your weight on your profile? Should it be public knowledge?

More on body confidence

When We Say We Don't Want You to Lose Weight, We Mean It

*Racy Question: How Online dating abd weight You Feel About Your Butt Size?

*Is Your Boyfriend Making You Fat?

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A whopping 70% of online daters lie in their dating profile, mostly about height, weight and age, says relationship and online dating expert Dr. Jess Carbino. But only major exaggerations seem to matter much to people using the platforms.

Dr. Jess, a PhD sociologist, has researched how people create their own personal storefront and romantic brand to attract the attention of potential mates on dating sites like Tinder and Bumble. She’s found some surprising differences in how men and women personally brand themselves and behave on dating platforms.

• Men swipe right much more often: Jess says that’s unfortunate, because it often leads to a disconnect about male daters’ true level dating older white women interest in meeting some of the women they’ve swiped right on. The average swipe-right ratio for women on Tinder or Bumble is about 40%. For men, it’s four. While women swipe more deliberately, men can’t afford to be so discriminating.

• Instagram has led to deceptive behavior: Jess thinks Instagram has led people to feel they can’t upload profile photos that show how they look in real life, and she suspects a significant number of profile photos have been Photoshopped to some degree. Just like on Instagram, online daters tend to post pictures of the kind of lifestyle they aspire to rather than the kind they lead.

• Both sexes stick to gender stereotypes: Jess analyzed 12,000 photos that women used on a dating app and found that not one showed the woman wearing a long-sleeve button-down shirt. In real life, women are wearing traditional men’s styles much more frequently than in decades past, but on dating sites, they’re overwhelmingly marketing themselves in traditionally feminine styles online dating abd weight may not match the way they dress every day. Men typically try to present themselves more seriously through the clothing they wear in profile photos.

• Men and women are looking for different qualities in a romantic partner: “I want to find someone who’s kind” is one of the top phrases that women use when describing their ideal male romantic partner. Meanwhile, men are driven to find somebody who’s interesting and easygoing, Dr. Jess says.

Ghosting is a real problem in the online dating world, one that Dr. Jess has researched. To hear what her research uncovered, listen to the episode.

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