Top 10 Lies Told by Men

Top 10 Lies Told by Women

Everyone wants to present the best versions of themselves on dating profiles, and sometimes, this drives them to lie about how awesome they are. I should know: I've been on both ends of the spectrum.

In early 2013, I was messaging back and forth with a guy who claimed to be 5'6," which is my height, but when we met in person, he was much shorter and I felt like I towered over him. Later that year, when I was in the midst of moving from Manhattan to Los Angeles, I set up my HowAboutWe account in the L.A. network even though I hadn't officially relocated yet. I met my fiancé because of this, but he was definitely bummed out when I told him we wouldn't be able to meet up until I left the East Coast a month later.

Melanie Robinson, an online dating expert who uses online dating apps herself, told ATTN: that it's common for people to fib about these two things in their profiles, and the lies don't end there. Here are some major things people tend to fabricate on their profiles, according to three different experts.

1. Marital status

Robinson, who uses Bumble and Tinder, told ATTN: that she has encountered married men on Tinder. In some cases, the men aren't forthcoming about this in their profiles either, so it's possible that you could match with someone who is married or otherwise attached.

"I had one experience where a guy told me he was divorced and he went back home and I got a phone call from his wife," Robinson said.

On another occasion, Robinson met with a guy from out of town who ultimately revealed that he and his wife hadn't had sex in two years because it was too painful for her after menopause. He said his wife gave him the freedom to sleep with other women when he traveled, but Robinson pointed out to ATTN: that he didn't mentioned any of this on his profile or when they first met up.

Julie Spira, who is also an online dating expert, told ATTN: via email that a lot of attached people use dating sites.

"[Some people] claim to be perpetually 'single,' when in fact they’ve either filed for divorce and it’s still pending or they are thinking about splitting up with their significant other," Spira wrote. "The relationship status is a big deal. Either you’re single and available, or you’re attached."

Research has shown that married people are on Tinder as well. In 2015, a report from GlobalWebIndex found that 30 percent of Tinder users are married. Tinder swiftly challenged this report, as it only surveyed 1,282 adults, and Tinder has an things people lie about on dating apps user base of 50 million, things people lie about on dating apps. Tinder responded by publishing its own data, which found a much smaller percentage of married users:

As writer Jana Kasperkevic noted in a piece for The Guardian, "the problem with all of these surveys and all the data is that it relies on Tinder users telling the truth, which a married Tinder user might conceivably not do."

2. Appearance

Damona Hoffman, an online dating expert, told ATTN: via email that many users will lie about things that make them "conventionally more attractive."

"Therefore men lie about their height, income, things people lie about on dating apps, and age," Hoffman wrote. "Women lie about weight or body type and age more frequently."

Spira made similar comments about appearance lies to ATTN:, adding that men are often dishonest about their height.

"With men, some tend to fib about their height by a few inches if they are under 5’10,” as they know women respond more to men who are tall," Spira wrote. "The same goes with income and profession, which can be exaggerated on a dating profile."

Robinson told ATTN: that she's gone on a lot of dates with men who say they're 5'8" and they end up free vacation dating sites about 5'6."

"Even 5'8," which would seem perhaps on the shorter side for a guy, I find that usually they're adding a few inches," Robinson said. "I'll see it over and over again on Tinder and Bumble."

3. Age

Spira told ATTN: that both men and women lie about their age on online dating platforms.

"It’s very common for women to lie about their age to fit into a search," Spira wrote. "They realize that men will search up to an age with a zero attached to it, so often you will find ages ending with a never-ending 9 number. Often photos are posted that are up to a decade old. Any profiles that only include close ups and don’t include a full body shot will make the viewer wonder what he or she is hiding (as in a huge amount of weight)."

Robinson told ATTN: that she has found age to be the biggest thing people lie about in their profiles. A 54-year-old woman herself, she receives fewer matches because she puts her real age on the platform and not as many people are looking for matches in her 40 year old man online dating. Some people experience the same thing and claim they're younger than they really are as a result, Robinson said. They might also tell themselves that they feel younger than they really are and therefore have a right to lie about this detail.

"There's a whole justification process people go through when they put a different age and a rationalization that's generally bullshit and delusional," Robinson said. "When someone has lied about their age and they show up to a date, your first face-to-face experience with that person is a lie, which is a really bad way to start any relationship."

Even when people don't outright lie in their profiles, they are still up against the mental image you have of them, according to Hoffman.

"The tricky thing with online dating is to manage your expectations - even if the other person hasn't lied about anything, they are competing against the fantasy version european dating site themselves that you have created between the time you matched and the time you met," Hoffman said. "Try to stay in the moment and let the person in front of you just be who they are rather than comparing them to who you thought they were going to be."

RELATED: Here's What Happens When Your Tinder Profile Says You're a Feminist

Have you ever lied on an online dating platform?

Nearly one-fourth of young adults are looking for love through dating websites or apps.

This relatively new form of courtship can give you access to a large pool of potential partners. It also presents a unique set of challenges.

For example, you’ve probably heard about – or have personally experienced – a date that was planned online but didn’t go well for one of the following reasons: He was shorter than his profile said he things people lie about on dating apps, she looked different in person than she did in her photos, or he was talkative over text but things people lie about on dating apps was like pulling teeth at dinner.

In other words, a person’s profile – and the messages sent before a date – might not capture who a person really is.

In a 2018 paper, my colleague Jeff Hancock and I wondered: How often do people who use dating apps lie? What sort of things are they prone to lie about?

‘My phone died at the gym’

Our studies are some of the first to address these questions, but others have free online farmers dating sites examined deception in online dating.

Past research focused largely on the dating profile. Studies have found, for example, that men tend to overstate their height and lie about their occupation, while women understate their weight and tend to have less accurate photos than their counterparts.

But profiles are only one aspect of the online dating process. Only after messaging your match will you decide if you want to meet him or her.

To understand how often people lied to their partners and what they falsified, things people lie about on dating apps evaluated hundreds of text messages exchanged after daters swiped right, but before they met – a period we call “the discovery phase.” We recruited an online sample of over 200 participants who provided us with their messages from a recent dating conversation and identified the lies, with some participants explaining why these messages were deceptive and not jokes.

We found that lies could be categorized into two main types. The first kind were lies related to self-presentation. If participants wanted to present themselves as more attractive, for example, they would lie about how often they went to the gym. Or if their match appeared to be religious, they might lie about how often they read the Bible to make it seem as if they had similar interests.

The second kind of lies were related to availability management, with daters describing why they couldn’t meet, or giving excuses for radio silence, like lying about their phone losing service.

These deceptions are called “butler lies” because they’re a relatively polite way to avoid communication without completely closing the door on the connection. If you’ve ever texted, “Sorry I went AWOL, my phone died,” when you just didn’t want to talk, you’ve told a butler lie.

Butler lies don’t make you a bad person. Instead, they can help you avoid dating pitfalls, such as appearing always available or desperate.

Purposeful or pervasive lies?

While deceptions over self-presentation and availability accounted for most lies, we observed that only 7 percent of all messages were rated as false in our sample.

Why such a low deception rate?

A robust finding across recent deception studies suggests that the majority of people are honest and that dating women older than you are only a few prolific liars adult dating affliates our midst.

Lying to appear like a good match or lying about your whereabouts can be completely rational behaviors, things people lie about on dating apps. In fact, most people online expect it. There’s also a benefit to lying just a little bit: It can make us stand out in the dating pool, while making us feel we’ve stayed true to who we are.

However, outright and pervasive lies – mentioning your love for dogs, but actually being allergic to them – can undermine trust. One too many big lies can be problematic for finding “the one.” There was another interesting result that speaks to the nature of deception during the discovery phase. In our studies, the number of lies told by a participant was positively associated with the number of lies they believed their partner told.

So if you’re honest and tell few lies, you think that others are being honest as well. If you’re looking for love but are lying to get it, there’s a good chance that you’ll things people lie about on dating apps others are lying to you, too.

Therefore, telling little lies for love is normal, and we do it because it serves a purpose – not just because we can.

Dating apps, in my opinion, are merely another avenue (or channel if you will) to meet others outside your daily life. It should not be your only option nor should it be viewed as background check. Consider it more like a digital billboard.

With all billboard advertisements, there is sometimes a little lie in the marketing, things people lie about on dating apps. Dating apps are merely introduction tools and for those that treat them like ordering apps like Uber Eats or Doordash, they will be disappointed.

Lying or misrepresenting yourself on dating apps is one of the biggest reasons why people get ghosted. No one likes being lied to. For tips on how to write a good dating profile, read this.

What Do People Lie About On Dating Sites, How Often Do People Lie On Dating Profiles? Biggest Lies On Dating Sites, Lies On Dating Profiles

It’s important to understand that not everyone tells the truth on dating apps (which is true of offline encounters, i.e. people hiding wedding bands or individuals wearing form-fitting outfits.

All introductions should be reviewed carefully, thoroughly and with cautious optimism. With dating apps comes anonymity and with anonymity comes increased temptation to lie because of a disconnect with others, matches or people you know.

Lying On Dating Sites, Online Dating Profiles: Why Do Guys Lie On Dating Sites

People are typically too trusting of people they meet (read the latest book by Malcolm Gladwell, Talking To Strangers) and either assume they always tell the truth, are overwhelmed by looks, bios and messages or read into profiles too quickly before verifying information is accurate or interpreted correctly.

Some lies are blatant (i.e. different photos, using photos that do not reflect your appearance aka catfishing) while other, smaller white lies fall under the kitten fishing umbrella i.e. (adding 1-2 inches to your height, using photos where you weight 10-15 less etc.

I constantly scour the internet for all things dating-related (I even created a page to highlight the most informative, provocative and best advice out there to help folks). A study by Stanford researchers caught my eye when they covered the 4 most common lies people tell on dating apps.

I agree with much of the finding things people lie about on dating apps I added my take as these groupings should ideally be broken down so you can review and put to the test when analyzing profiles, photos, bios and communication with matches. The four groups are listed below:

Self-Presentation (Make Yourself Look Better)

Examples: Mostly exaggeration, i.e. mimicking hobbies, claiming to do something outlandish.

Test: It’s perfectly normal to have things in common but putting people to the test i.e. if they claim to love salsa dancing, ask them where they take classes or places gone.

Emotionally Unavailable Men & Women

People often state they are ready to meet a quality person or get out there but then start balling and crying within 20 minutes of a date talking about an ex. These folks are clearly not over their ex and the ones that appear to be so, may not be in a good place to trust people.

Avoiding Dates, Schedule Mix-Ups

Examples: Lies to avoid meeting up i.e. have to get up early, have to study, missed the bus, got dates confused, teenage lesbian dating apps at work, not feeling well.

Test: Harder to catch in a lie, but ask if they are feeling better, ask if they can meet at your office and drop off a gift etc. In my etiquette guide, I put the onus on the person who canceled to reschedule the date. Some people are desperate and makeup excuses and while trying once more to set up a date, that is the max I recommend anyone extending themselves to accommodate others, particularly strangers on dating apps.

Lies About Timing

Examples: Running 10 minutes late when you are taking a longer time or telling someone to visit you at a place but then leaving early to avoid them but wanting things people lie about on dating apps appear like you made an effort.

Test: Communication is key, just extend the courtesy that you arrived early or that you might be running late even if you are not 100% sure. Being early and on time is one way to prove you value someone.

Indirect Lies of Avoidance

Examples: Oh, I wish I could go. Sounds fun let me know when you go to x. Attempts to soften rejection but preserve connection.

Test: Some examples are indeed honest and some people are truthful about their intentions. You can ask in advance or on the spot to see if people can look you in the eye. It is easier to lie over phone or text than in person in public places.

Other White Lies In Dating Profile, What People Lie About On Dating Sites

The above are all very much accurate but are more so related to dating app communication rather than dating app profiles. Those lies often involve a date to be planned or communication yet to be established after matching. 

The other white lies frequently told on dating apps are usually in the photos, caption, bios and answers to prompts. These lies could largely fall underneath things people lie about on dating apps category of kittenfishing but others are much more than a simple white lie.

In of themselves, these individual lies can be nothing to some, but they can be a sign of insecurity, narcissism, deception or straight manipulation. It’s important to ask questions, take your time, reference answers and ask for help if necessary. I routinely offer cursory reviews for clients on suspicious profiles and people they meet on dating apps utilizing all my many years of analytical, creative and research skills.

Many of these lies can be proven with a video chat, video date or similar via Skype, Zoom, Google Hangouts or Facetime.

Job Title, Employment: Should You Lie About Employment Status On Dating Apps?

Lie: Entrepreneur, Consultant, Founder. These could all very be true but could be a cover-up for unemployment.

Test: Asking about concept, MVP, clients, current projects, look up LinkedIn profile

Lying About Your Age On Tinder, Hinge, Bumble: Is It Ok To Lie About Age On Dating Apps?

Lie: Women are notorious for listing the wrong age in the bio age field but will write I am actually x + 5 years old or Facebook/Tinder/Bumble will not let me change my age. Men just straight up lie. Both are liars and insecure about age.

Test: Ask about graduation years, references to childhood, significant dates, where were they when X happened or find an excuse to look at their ID. Look up the person on Linkedin and do some simple math.

Lying About Height On Dating Apps: Is Lying About Height Catfishing?  Why Do Guys Lie About Height On Dating Apps

Lie: Adds 2-3 inches in height to profile.

Test: Find a creative way, bet to see ID. Find a natural measuring stick like the door frames at 7-11, look for clues in photo backgrounds or just go on a date.

Unfortunately, there are a few professional ghostwriters that think it’s ok to add a few inches to their client’s profiles. Many guys think that unless they are 5’10” or 6′ tall, they can’t do well on dating apps. Rather than working on their appearance, things people lie about on dating apps, profile, photos etc. they like things people lie about on dating apps blame other people or apps.

Should I Put My Height On Dating Apps? Does Height Matter On Dating Apps? Should I Put My Height On Bumble?

Yes, do it. It helps to weed out superficial people.

Which Dating Apps Have Height Filters?

Bumble, The League, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, Match.com, OkCupid

Does Tinder Verify Height? Tinder Height-Fishing

Only As An April Fool’s Joke.

It’s kind of amazing, the amount of cognitive dissonance a person can muster while firing off a text that is 100 percent B.S., especially when it’s going to someone you may or may not be trying to date. Like that thing where you send a message about them to them, and then immediately follow up with “Oh, sorry, that wasn’t for you!” (Yes, it was.) Or when you add six unnecessary details to an explanation of why you need to reschedule, in the hopes that each one will make it a little more convincing.

No one believes these things when they’re on the receiving end, and yet when we’re the one doing the typing, we suddenly become convinced of our own skills as masters of deception. I’ve rolled my eyes at texts from both those genres, and I’ve also sent them— to men I was trying to impress and men I was trying to shake — earnestly believing, each time, that I was getting away with it.

Honestly, none of us are getting away with it. But the good news, coming from a surprisingly soothing study recently published in the Journal of Communication, is that when it comes to conversations on Tinder, Bumble, and the like, benign fibs like these make up the bulk of the lying that happens — and things people lie about on dating apps itself, it turns out, things people lie about on dating apps, is actually pretty rare on dating apps.

For the study, researchers Jeffrey Hancock, a communications professor at Stanford, and Dave Markowitz, an incoming assistant professor of communication at the University of Oregon, collected more than 3,000 messages sent by roughly 200 people during the “discovery phase,” the time between when two people match and when they actually meet face-to-face. When they asked participants to rate how dishonest they’d been in each message, around two-thirds said they hadn’t told anything but the truth (which, yes, caveat, could have been a lie), and only 7 percent of messages overall were reported to contain any falsehoods.

The bulk of those lies the were what the authors called “butler lies,” a term coined by Hancock in a previous study. “Butler lies are false messages that help a person manage his or her social availability,” Markowitz explains. They’re the fibs used as a polite way in or out of a conversation, whether you’re trying to chat someone up or trying to let them down easy. Here, according to the study, are the most common ones.

To look better. More than a third of the deceptive messages involved what the researchers called “self-presentation lies.” In some cases, this meant pretending to have the same interests as whoever they were chatting with; in others, it just meant stretching the truth in a way that was supposed to make them seem cooler. In one example, the authors cited the message: “Haha all I want is to walk into a grocery store and buy the entire shelf of Bold Rock” (which was, they helpfully explained, “exaggerating the desire to buy an entire shelf things people lie about on dating apps hard cider and making the self appear witty or interesting”).

To get out of meeting. On the other hand, just under 30 percent of lies latest fijian dating sites about the sender’s time (or lack thereof), a category the researchers further broke down into a few sub-groups. The first of those was lies told to avoid meeting face-to-face — things about schedule conflicts, exhausting days, not being able to commit to a date until things calmed down. Some people, it’s worth noting, made a reasonable effort to make their excuses seem at least somewhat real, whole others … did not. Looking at you, whoever wrote, “Well I have my finals on Wednesday and then I’m leaving on a vacation Thursday. So a couple weeks at least.”

To soften the blow of rejection. The second group was about how participants ashley medicine dating site about the time-management lies they’d just told, things people lie about on dating apps, typically to soften the impact of a brush-off — things along the lines of “I wish I could go.” This kind of lie, though, wasn’t always told entirely out of kindness; its other purpose, the authors explained, was to “save face for both communicators,” keeping open the possibility of meeting at some point down the road while minimizing future awkwardness.

To cover a timing mishap. The third category was a genre of text that doesn’t just apply to online dating: the “I’ll be there soon!” message sent by someone who will not, in fact, be there soon. One person’s opinion: This is among the most annoying, but also the one you kind of have to forgive — who among us has not, at some point, promised they were ten minutes away while still sitting on the bed in a towel?

To Markowitz, though, the study takeaway isn’t that we all tell asian dating websites united states same lies — it’s that contrary to popular belief, dating apps are populated with at least somewhat decent humans. “The idea that most people were reportedly honest was not necessarily shocking,” he says. “It was encouraging to see this finding in a dating setting, however, because it suggests that trust and honesty are still crucial social dynamics when people are communicating as strangers.” Maybe the men of Bumble really are the dedicated fishermen they claim to be in their photos — which, actually, could be good or bad, depending how you look at it.

Lying is not uncommon when navigating relationships and dating, but depending on the nature of the omission and the frequency, it could harm your partnerships, one expert says. 

Before many even get into a committed relationship, we often lie in dating profiles and even lie about ourselves when meeting in person, said relationship and sex expert Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, host of the @SexWithDrJessPodcast.

“In dating, we are quite likely to lie about age, income and interests,” she said, adding that people aren’t just filtering their photos, they’re filtering who they truly are.

A poll by research firm OpinionMatters found 53 per cent of people lie on their online dating profiles about jobs and incomes. 

“In dating we tend to lie to make ourselves more attractive, partly because we believe those things or we want to believe those things,” said O’Reilly. 

If you find that you’re often lying about who you are when dating, it may be an indication of who you want to be. It’s important to ask yourself why you want to be those things, she said. 

“It can show you your aspirations,” she said, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. 

Are you guilty of ‘financial infidelity?’

But lying too much in this way can impact how you see yourself and can affect your self esteem, as the lies are an indication that you’re not happy with who you are, explained O’Reilly — especially if the topics you lie about are your job, income, achievements, or even family. 

Trending Stories

Lying in your relationships

To figure out whether your lying is harmful to your relationship, determine what kind of lies you’ve been telling, said O’Reilly.

“Pro-social” lies are statements we say to make someone else feel good or to feel better, as opposed to “anti-social” lies, which we tell to avoid consequences for our own actions, she explained. 

Previous reports have found that Canadians are particularly untruthful things people lie about on dating apps it comes to discussing finances with their partner.

Thirty-six per cent of Canadians surveyed in 2018 said they’ve lied about a financial matter to a romantic partner according to market research firm Leger.

Common offences included lying about running up a credit card or about their income, according to The Canadian Press. 

Some lie about money to avoid their spouse criticizing them, said Selina Gray, an Edmonton-based personal finance things people lie about on dating apps in a previous Global News report. 

“People often feel compelled to avoid fights, or shield themselves from judgment, so the need to … lie about spending can escalate,” said Gray. 

A research study from 2009 found that 25 per cent of people reported telling one to two lies a day, while 60 per cent claimed they don’t tell any lies. 

We sometimes tell lies because we don’t want to make ourselves vulnerable or further engage about an issue, explained O’Reilly.

But the consequences of those lies can be serious, she said.

“What happens when you tell a lie, is that it leads to another lie, and another lie and then a disconnect between people,” she said, things people lie about on dating apps, as it not only will affect your self esteem and perception of yourself, it will likely hurt your partner.

For more information about why we tell lies in relationships, watch Jessica O’Reilly in the video above. 

⁠— With files from Global News reporter Laura Hensley

It’s kind of amazing, the amount of cognitive dissonance a person can muster while firing off a text that is 100 percent B.S., especially when it’s going to someone you may or may not be trying to date. Like that thing where you send a message about them to them, and then immediately follow up with “Oh, sorry, that wasn’t for you!” (Yes, it was.) Or when you add six unnecessary details to an explanation of why you need to reschedule, in the hopes that each one will make it a little more convincing.

No one believes these things when they’re on the receiving end, and yet when we’re the one doing the typing, we suddenly become convinced of our own skills as masters of deception. I’ve rolled my eyes at texts from both those genres, and I’ve also sent them— to men I was trying to impress and men I was trying to shake — earnestly believing, each time, that I was getting away with it.

Honestly, none of us are getting away with it. But the good news, coming from a surprisingly soothing study recently published in the Journal of Communication, is that when it comes to conversations on Tinder, Bumble, and the like, benign fibs like these make up the bulk of the lying that happens — and lying itself, it turns out, is actually pretty rare on dating apps.

For the study, researchers Jeffrey Hancock, a communications professor at Stanford, and Dave Markowitz, an incoming assistant professor of communication at the University of Oregon, collected more than 3,000 messages sent by roughly 200 people during the “discovery phase,” the time between when two people match and when they actually meet face-to-face. When they asked participants to rate how dishonest they’d been in each message, around two-thirds said they hadn’t told anything but the truth (which, yes, caveat, could have been a lie), and only 7 percent of messages overall were reported to contain any falsehoods.

The bulk of those lies the were what the authors called “butler lies,” a term coined by Hancock in a previous study. “Butler lies are false messages that help a person manage his or her social availability,” Markowitz explains. They’re the fibs used as a polite way in or out of a conversation, whether you’re trying to chat someone up or trying to let them down easy. Here, according to the study, are the most common ones.

To look better. More than a third of the deceptive messages involved what the researchers called “self-presentation lies.” In some cases, this meant pretending to have the same interests as whoever they were chatting with; in others, it just meant stretching the truth in a way that was supposed to make them seem cooler. In one example, the authors cited the message: “Haha all I want is to walk into a grocery store and buy the entire shelf of Bold Rock” (which was, they helpfully explained, “exaggerating the desire to buy an entire shelf of hard cider and making the self appear witty or interesting”).

To get out of meeting. On the other hand, just under 30 percent of lies were about the sender’s time (or lack thereof), a category the researchers further broke down into a few sub-groups. The first of those was lies told to avoid meeting face-to-face — things about schedule conflicts, exhausting days, not being able to commit to a date until things calmed down. Some people, it’s worth noting, made a reasonable effort to make their excuses seem at least somewhat real, whole others … did not. Looking at you, whoever wrote, “Well I have my finals on Wednesday and then I’m leaving on a vacation Thursday. So a couple weeks at least.”

To soften the blow of rejection. The second group was about how participants felt about the time-management lies they’d just told, typically to soften the impact of a brush-off — things along the lines of “I wish I could go.” This kind of lie, though, wasn’t always told entirely out of kindness; its other purpose, the authors explained, was to “save face for both communicators,” keeping open the possibility of meeting at some point down the road while minimizing future awkwardness.

To cover a timing mishap. The third category was a genre of text that doesn’t just apply to online dating: the “I’ll be there soon!” message sent by someone who will not, in fact, be there soon. One person’s opinion: This is among the most annoying, but also the one you kind of have to forgive — who among us has not, at some point, promised they were ten minutes away while still sitting on the bed in a towel?

To Markowitz, though, the study takeaway isn’t that we all tell the same lies — it’s that contrary to popular belief, dating apps are populated with at least somewhat decent humans. “The idea that most people were reportedly honest was not necessarily shocking,” he says. “It was encouraging to see this finding in a dating setting, however, because it suggests that trust and honesty are still crucial social dynamics when people are communicating as strangers.” Maybe the men of Bumble really are the dedicated fishermen they claim to be in their photos — which, actually, could be good or bad, depending how you look at it.

Kaspersky Lab and B2B International jointly researched online dating site users’ patterns of behavior and the threats they encounter. We found out what type of information users are prepared to share with strangers and why (and about what) so many of them lie.

Who lies?

In short, most people lie. Of our survey respondents, 57% admit that they embellish reality on dating sites. Married men are the most likely to lie: 67% of them say they lie when filling out their profiles or communicating on the website.

Married users lie primarily to hide their marital status. Outside of that, however, both men and women lie most often about their appearance. And across the board, people lie about age, social status, and the like.

The lies may not surprise you. A survey discovery we found particularly interesting, though, is that liars are more deeply wounded by lies told to them than honest folks are. It seems dishonest users understand better than honest ones how much the truth can change someone’s online profile.

Why lie?

Turns out, many users (16%) present themselves dishonestly in the hopes of looking better to potential partners. In that, they may not be off base. Data from the large dating site OkCupid indicates that men who are rated more attractive by female visitors to the site (i.e., men who are taller, more well-built, and who have a good job) received 11 times as many messages as lower-rated men. The same thing happens with women, in that conventionally attractive (slim and young) female visitors see five times as many messages as “medium” women, and 28 times as many as women judged unattractive do.

If we consider that the likelihood of an encounter grows with more messages received, it’s no wonder both men and women embellish their photos and profiles.

However, it’s not just the desire to find a new partner quickly that inclines people to lie. Some 36% of male research participants lie “just for fun” (31% of women admit to this as well). But the most common reason women lie is fear. Some 34% of female site visitors intentionally falsify information about themselves because they are afraid that real information will be used against them by extortionists and con men. Such fears are not unfounded: 55% of visitors to dating sites have encountered some kind of problem related to their use of the services. Problems can be manifold, from unpleasant conversations to real cyberthreats.

There are other reasons for lying. Many visitors to dating sites and users of dating apps still do not consider them all that reputable and thus don’t want their friends or family to see their profiles. According to our research, 5% of visitors hide their dating activity from their partners, and another 3% try to discover if their partners or spouses are using a dating site or service.

How do we deal with this?

There is no quick fix to this window dressing, unfortunately. Despite the preponderance of false information in profiles, dating sites continue to be extremely popular; 32% of all Internet users use them. In this regard, people on dating sites are significantly more at risk of cyberattacks than other users: the ratio of those who experience threats to those who don’t is 41% to 20%, respectively. An easy explanation would be that these people generally tend to use the Internet more, leading to more opportunities for attackers; however, the volume of falsified information is a danger in and of itself as well.

You can count yourself lucky if someone you’ve been in contact with merely fibbed about their job or age rather than gaining your trust using social engineering and then using the information they gained while talking to you for, say, spear phishing. So, always be on guard when talking with strangers who are a “match” — you now know most of them are not who they seem.

Top 10 Lies Told by Men

Top 10 Lies Told by Women

Everyone wants to present the best versions of themselves on dating profiles, and sometimes, this drives them to lie about how awesome they are. I should know: I've been on both ends of the spectrum.

In early 2013, I was messaging back and forth with a guy who claimed to be 5'6," which is my height, but when we met in person, he was much shorter and I felt like I towered over him. Later that year, when I was in the midst of moving from Manhattan to Los Angeles, I set up my HowAboutWe account in the L.A. network even though I hadn't officially relocated yet. I met my fiancé because of this, but he was definitely bummed out when I told him we wouldn't be able to meet up until I left the East Coast a month later.

Melanie Robinson, an online dating expert who uses online dating apps herself, told ATTN: that it's common for people to fib about these two things in their profiles, and the lies don't end there. Here are some major things people tend to fabricate on their profiles, according to three different experts.

1. Marital status

Robinson, who uses Bumble and Tinder, told ATTN: that she has encountered married men on Tinder. In some cases, the men aren't forthcoming about this in their profiles either, so it's possible that you could match with someone who is married or otherwise attached.

"I had one experience where a guy told me he was divorced and he went back home and I got a phone call from his wife," Robinson said.

On another occasion, Robinson met with a guy from out of town who ultimately revealed that he and his wife hadn't had sex in two years because it was too painful for her after menopause. He said his wife gave him the freedom to sleep with other women when he traveled, but Robinson pointed out to ATTN: that he didn't mentioned any of this on his profile or when they first met up.

Julie Spira, who is also an online dating expert, told ATTN: via email that a lot of attached people use dating sites.

"[Some people] claim to be perpetually 'single,' when in fact they’ve either filed for divorce and it’s still pending or they are thinking about splitting up with their significant other," Spira wrote. "The relationship status is a big deal. Either you’re single and available, or you’re attached."

Research has shown that married people are on Tinder as well. In 2015, a report from GlobalWebIndex found that 30 percent of Tinder users are married. Tinder swiftly challenged this report, as it only surveyed 1,282 adults, and Tinder has an estimated user base of 50 million. Tinder responded by publishing its own data, which found a much smaller percentage of married users:

As writer Jana Kasperkevic noted in a piece for The Guardian, "the problem with all of these surveys and all the data is that it relies on Tinder users telling the truth, which a married Tinder user might conceivably not do."

2. Appearance

Damona Hoffman, an online dating expert, told ATTN: via email that many users will lie about things that make them "conventionally more attractive."

"Therefore men lie about their height, income, and age," Hoffman wrote. "Women lie about weight or body type and age more frequently."

Spira made similar comments about appearance lies to ATTN:, adding that men are often dishonest about their height.

"With men, some tend to fib about their height by a few inches if they are under 5’10,” as they know women respond more to men who are tall," Spira wrote. "The same goes with income and profession, which can be exaggerated on a dating profile."

Robinson told ATTN: that she's gone on a lot of dates with men who say they're 5'8" and they end up being about 5'6."

"Even 5'8," which would seem perhaps on the shorter side for a guy, I find that usually they're adding a few inches," Robinson said. "I'll see it over and over again on Tinder and Bumble."

3. Age

Spira told ATTN: that both men and women lie about their age on online dating platforms.

"It’s very common for women to lie about their age to fit into a search," Spira wrote. "They realize that men will search up to an age with a zero attached to it, so often you will find ages ending with a never-ending 9 number. Often photos are posted that are up to a decade old. Any profiles that only include close ups and don’t include a full body shot will make the viewer wonder what he or she is hiding (as in a huge amount of weight)."

Robinson told ATTN: that she has found age to be the biggest thing people lie about in their profiles. A 54-year-old woman herself, she receives fewer matches because she puts her real age on the platform and not as many people are looking for matches in her demographic. Some people experience the same thing and claim they're younger than they really are as a result, Robinson said. They might also tell themselves that they feel younger than they really are and therefore have a right to lie about this detail.

"There's a whole justification process people go through when they put a different age and a rationalization that's generally bullshit and delusional," Robinson said. "When someone has lied about their age and they show up to a date, your first face-to-face experience with that person is a lie, which is a really bad way to start any relationship."

Even when people don't outright lie in their profiles, they are still up against the mental image you have of them, according to Hoffman.

"The tricky thing with online dating is to manage your expectations - even if the other person hasn't lied about anything, they are competing against the fantasy version of themselves that you have created between the time you matched and the time you met," Hoffman said. "Try to stay in the moment and let the person in front of you just be who they are rather than comparing them to who you thought they were going to be."

RELATED: Here's What Happens When Your Tinder Profile Says You're a Feminist

Have you ever lied on an online dating platform?

Lying is not uncommon when navigating relationships and dating, but depending on the nature of the omission and the frequency, it could harm your partnerships, one expert says. 

Before many even get into a committed relationship, we often lie in dating profiles and even lie about ourselves when meeting in person, said relationship and sex expert Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, host of the @SexWithDrJessPodcast.

“In dating, we are quite likely to lie about age, income and interests,” she said, adding that people aren’t just filtering their photos, they’re filtering who they truly are.

A poll by research firm OpinionMatters found 53 per cent of people lie on their online dating profiles about jobs and incomes. 

“In dating we tend to lie to make ourselves more attractive, partly because we believe those things or we want to believe those things,” said O’Reilly. 

If you find that you’re often lying about who you are when dating, it may be an indication of who you want to be. It’s important to ask yourself why you want to be those things, she said. 

“It can show you your aspirations,” she said, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. 

Are you guilty of ‘financial infidelity?’

But lying too much in this way can impact how you see yourself and can affect your self esteem, as the lies are an indication that you’re not happy with who you are, explained O’Reilly — especially if the topics you lie about are your job, income, achievements, or even family. 

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Lying in your relationships

To figure out whether your lying is harmful to your relationship, determine what kind of lies you’ve been telling, said O’Reilly.

“Pro-social” lies are statements we say to make someone else feel good or to feel better, as opposed to “anti-social” lies, which we tell to avoid consequences for our own actions, she explained. 

Previous reports have found that Canadians are particularly untruthful when it comes to discussing finances with their partner.

Thirty-six per cent of Canadians surveyed in 2018 said they’ve lied about a financial matter to a romantic partner according to market research firm Leger.

Common offences included lying about running up a credit card or about their income, according to The Canadian Press. 

Some lie about money to avoid their spouse criticizing them, said Selina Gray, an Edmonton-based personal finance expert in a previous Global News report. 

“People often feel compelled to avoid fights, or shield themselves from judgment, so the need to … lie about spending can escalate,” said Gray. 

A research study from 2009 found that 25 per cent of people reported telling one to two lies a day, while 60 per cent claimed they don’t tell any lies. 

We sometimes tell lies because we don’t want to make ourselves vulnerable or further engage about an issue, explained O’Reilly.

But the consequences of those lies can be serious, she said.

“What happens when you tell a lie, is that it leads to another lie, and another lie and then a disconnect between people,” she said, as it not only will affect your self esteem and perception of yourself, it will likely hurt your partner.

For more information about why we tell lies in relationships, watch Jessica O’Reilly in the video above. 

⁠— With files from Global News reporter Laura Hensley