It is peak "cuffing season," the time of year when all folks want to do is cuddle up with a significant other and watch Netflix. For those who are still single, the hunt is on.

In fact, what's supposedly the most popular dating day of the year is coming up this weekend. January 5, 2020, is being heralded as "Dating Sunday."

Executives at dating apps such as Match, Zoosk, and Bumble anticipate huge spikes in their app’s usage on the first Sunday of January every year. Some think the "Dating Sunday" phenomenon happens because there singles have only six weeks until Valentine’s Day, while others consider the New Year — and the whole idea of turning over a new leaf and starting the year fresh — as a factor.

Zoosk's CMO, Luciana Telles, said in a statement to CNET, “It's the first weekend after New Year's Eve, which means that people have not only set themselves New Year's resolutions, they've had a few days to think about how to put them into practice.”

If your New Year's resolution is to find true love (however you might define the term), there are plenty of ways to meet people in the digital age. But in some cases you'll need to first pay up to make those romantic connections.

While many online dating sites and apps are free, some cost money to sign up, or offer paid premiums that allow for added bonuses and services. Is it worth paying extra for premium services on dating apps? Well, some think it may be worth it to get that extra boost to your profile, while others are more than happy getting their free swipes.

Either way, here’s how much the biggest dating apps cost, and which dating apps are free:

Tinder

Free or Tinder Plus for $9.99/month if you’re under 30, $19.99/month if you’re over 30

Tinder helped popularized dating apps and started the swiping phenomenon. For free, Tinder offers the standard swipe left or right and message your matches. But, with the paid access to Tinder Plus you get unlimited likes; Rewind, which lets you change your mind if you swiped left ( no) on a person; Passport, which lets you swipe on users located anywhere in the world; profile Boosts once a month; and the ability to Super Like up to five people a day.

Tinder Gold

Tinder Plus fee, plus an additional $4.99/month

Tinder Gold includes all of the Plus features and you’ll see who has already swiped right (yes) on you.

Bumble

Free or Bumble Boost for $24.99/ month

Bumble is the dating app where women have to make the first move in heterosexual relationships. When two people of opposite sex match on Bumble, the woman has to message first. The free Bumble version is similar to Tinder and offers swipes and messaging. When you pay for the extra Bumble Boost access, users can see those who’ve swiped right on them, and it also extends matches an extra 24 hours, and offers the ability to rematch with expired connections.

OkCupid

Free or A-list for $9.99/month

OkCupid focuses on responses rather than photos hoping to get users to make more meaningful connections. Free OKCupid users can see mutual likes and send messages on either the OkCupid app or desktop site. In the paid OKCupid A-list service, there are no ads, users have the ability to see if they’ve already been liked, you can search and filter with more options, and receive read receipts on your messages.

Grindr

Free or Grindr Xtra fo $11.99/month

Grindr is the largest dating app for the LGBTQ community. For free, Grindr offers geo-located profiles with the ability to swipe and message in order to meet up. With premium access, Grindr users are offered an ad-free experience, they can view up to 600 profiles, offered additional filters when searching for matches, access to different Grindr Tribes, unlimited Blocks and Favorites, and they can receive read receipts.

eHarmony

3-day free trial, then 1-month plan for $59.95 or 3-month plan for $29.95/month

eHarmony was one of the original online dating platforms and is focused on finding long-term love connections. Fill out an extensive questionnaire and eHarmony does the swiping for you. It will also send you matches based on your responses.

Match

7-day free trial, then 1-month plan for $40.99, up to 12-month plan for $19.99/month

Profiles on Match can get really in-depth, which allows for deeper connections. Like eHarmony, Match does the work for you after you’ve filled out your photos and descriptions, the algorithm will find users matches.

I’m an accidental expert on dating apps – I’ve spent the vast majority of my life single, with a variety of them downloaded. The aim has been, as many dating profiles say, to find a reason to delete the apps.

Recently I noticed that Tinder was advertising one of its premium services to me, Tinder Gold. I’ve never paid for a dating app, instead opting for the free version most services offer, and at £14.59 a month it seemed steep.

I had just turned 28, so I wondered if I was being charged more than a younger user. If you’re single at 28, does big tech know you’re filled with enough existential dread that you’ll pay whatever it takes to get a date?

Tinder has three levels of subscription, Tinder Plus, Tinder Gold and Tinder Platinum, each with different prices. What I hadn’t realised until I started looking into it was that, as well as being linked to the different services on offer, the monthly fee was also linked to age.

I did some research, asking friends, friends’ younger siblings and Facebook groups I’m a member of – an unscientific sample of Tinder users. I asked them to send me a screenshot of the price Tinder was asking them to pay.

In this random group of users there was a clear distinction when it came to Tinder Gold – users aged about 30 were being charged £27.49 or £29.49, while those under 30 were being charged £13.99 or £14.49.

Tinder Plus seemed more random. I was being asked to pay £4.99 a month for that service, and while some users over 30 said they were being charged £19.49, most who responded were being asked to pay £4.99, £8.99 or £9.99.

How do the other options add up?

Tinder is not the only dating app to offer a premium service, many offer one or more price points, as well as a free version. We have rounded up the advertised prices and what you get for your money from each one. And it seems £14.59 a month wasn’t as steep as it first seemed.

One member of Bumble could be paying £14.99 a month for Bumble Boost, giving them access to features including the ability to swipe (show that you’re interested in) unlimited users. Another might be paying £32.99 for Bumble Premium, offering those services plus others, including the ability to see who has already liked them.

Coffee Meets Bagel charges £34 a month for its Premium service – for that price you can see and contact everyone who likes you. You will also get a huge amount of information on other users, including details of whether they have recently been online.

Grindr also offers a more expensive package, Unlimited, at £31.99 a month. The features include removing the limit on the number of profiles you can view. It also has some features that might make some users uncomfortable, allowing you to see when another user is typing and the ability to browse the app without being visible to other users.

Hinge claims you’ll go on twice as many dates with its paid-for Preferred membership. If you’re hopeful you can delete after only one month, it will cost you £29.49 for a subscription. But if you pay for three months upfront, it is £58.99, only £19.66 a month. For six months’ membership, you can pay only £14.66 a month.

While most apps allow you to pay for premium services for just a month at a time, Plenty of Fish has a minimum premium subscription of three months for £39.99, which works out at £13.33 a month. The minimum time period to subscribe to eharmony’s premium subscription is six months for £99.99, which is £16.66 a month. Like most apps it will give you a discount for signing up for longer and if you opt for 24 months of membership, it will cost you only £8.33 a month.

Paid subscriptions tend to grant better search facilities

Sophie Thomas, a celebrity dating and love coach, says it is worth buying into a premium service. “It’s absolutely possible to meet your ideal match using free services. However, if you’re serious about this substantial area of life, then investing in dating is an act of commitment to show up at your highest level,” she says.

“Paid subscriptions also tend to grant better search facilities, which can save time. If you definitely want children, for example, then there’s no point scrolling through hundreds of people who don’t.

“Getting to know someone takes time, so rushing into committing to one person isn’t usually advisable. It can therefore make sense, once you know that you’re happy with an app, to buy a longer subscription in order to give yourself that time to date until you find the right person.”

James Preece, the host of the Love Machine podcast, agrees that it is worth spending money. However, he adds: “It’s not simply a case of the more you pay, then the better results you’ll get. If your profile, photos and messages are terrible, then you’ll still have awful results.

“If they are good, then unlocking extra features such as the ability to be seen by more people can boost your opportunities … Some upgrades – such as those on Bumble – allow you to use more filters when you are searching. That can really help getting quality matches.”

The dating and relationships coach Kate Mansfield disagrees, however. She argues that the most dateable people will be snapped up before they sign up for a paid-for service.

“The truth is this: quality, confident people who love themselves and know what they want and deserve don’t need to pay for matchmaking or elite services – they are able to navigate the free apps and find the best partner for them,” she says.

“You might think that paying for an elite or premier service is the answer but throwing money at this is the absolute worst thing that you can do because while you might expect to be buying access to premier quality dates, it is in fact the opposite – you are now paying to be in a pool of people who are also struggling to make dating and relationships work.”

Instead of a paid-for app, she advises working on yourself: “Invest in coaching or therapy to get yourself in the best place possible and then use Tinder, Hinge or Bumble’s free version to find love.”

Tinder’s stance

To try to make sense of what my friends and I were being charged, I contacted Tinder. It told Guardian Money: “Tinder operates a global business, and in some geographies we offer discounted subscriptions to younger members. In addition, we frequently offer promotional rates, which can vary based on factors like location or length of subscription. No other demographic information is considered in our pricing structure.”

Tinder’s stance is that it is giving younger members a better deal, rather than older members a worse one. To Allan Candelore, a Tinder user in California, this age-based pricing seemed unfair, and he launched a class action lawsuit.

Tinder argued that younger users have less money. But the judge stated at appeal: “No matter what Tinder’s market research may have shown about the younger users’ relative income and willingness to pay for the service, as a group, as compared to the older cohort, some individuals will not fit the mould. Some older consumers will be ‘more budget-constrained’. And less willing to pay than some in the younger group.”

Tinder settled the lawsuit for $17.3m (£12.4m) and agreed to stop pricing based on age, but only in California.

Robin Allen QC says that in the UK “there is an exception to the Equality Act which allows businesses to give ‘concession in respect of a service to persons of a particular age group’. This means a business can give a discounted price to someone based on their age, like OAP deals on fish and chips or railcards.”

He says the act states that the concession provided should be “more favourable than the manner in which, or the terms on which, it is usually provided to the public”, which you could see as meaning the discounted price cannot be the price most people are paying. “If most of Tinder’s users are younger and paying a lower amount, there could be an argument that the concession wouldn’t apply.”

But he says it is unlikely that anyone in the UK would take a case because “best-case scenario, you would win the difference between the two prices, which isn’t very much here. There would also be costs of litigation. Age discrimination cases like this are very rare in Britain. Compared to the case in California, proportionality of costs of litigation, chance of success and possible reward look much different.”

The lowdown on dating apps and sites

Tinder

Claims to be the best free dating site and to have made 55bn matches. For free, you can swipe on someone you like and will be informed and linked up if they like you back.

Plus – £4.99-£19.94 a month: features include unlimited likes, five super likes a day, passport to any location, hidden advertisements.

Gold – £13.99-£29.49 a month: as above, plus see who likes you and new top picks every day.

Platinum – £18.14-£36.49 a month: as Gold, plus messaging before matching, prioritised likes and a record of the likes you have sent over the last seven days.

Bumble

App where women always have to make the first move. Matching and messaging is free but you can upgrade your subscription.

Boost – £14.99 for one month: features include rematch, allowing you to chat to expired matches; extend, giving more time to chat with matches beyond the 24-hour window; unlimited swipes and the chance to backtrack; spotlight – get your profile to the front of the queue.

Premium – £32.99 for one month: as above, plus Beeline – see who has already swiped right on you; Incognito – only get seen by those you swipe right on; travel, letting you change your location to connect with people in different areas; unlimited advanced filters.

HER

The world’s largest and, it claims, “most loved” free dating app for LGBTQ women with 6 million users signed up. For free, you can view profiles, get matches, add friends, start chats, view events and join communities.

Gold – £14.99 a month: ad-free; premium filters; see who likes you; change location; browse incognito; rewind profiles.

Platinum – £24.99 a month: as above, plus unlimited swipes; see who is online; read receipts; one free boost a month.

Coffee Meets Bagel

Bills itself as the “original anti-swiping app” – for free, it sends subscribers a list of matches every day that have been “curated” by an algorithm.

Premium – £34 for one month: extra features including full access to contact those who like you; one “discover” like a day, allowing you to choose someone you haven’t been matched with; monthly profile boost; activity reports; read receipts.

Plenty of Fish

Free dating app that claims to have 3 million members logging in daily across several countries. You can search and message people without having to match with them. The site claims a paid-for subscription will treble the number of people viewing your profile and more than double your chance of meeting someone.

Upgraded profile – £13.33 a month for shortest sign-up of three months: buys a long list of features including show up first on Meet Me; unlock every user’s Extended Profile; ad-free; see if your emails were read or deleted; upload 16 images.

Hinge

Styles itself as “the dating app designed to be deleted”. For free, you can send up to eight likes a day and message someone you have matched with.

Preferred Membership – £17.99 a month: you get additional filters for height, whether someone has children, whether someone wants children, politics, drinking, smoking, marijuana, and drug use; unlimited number of likes; option to view everyone who likes you at the same time.

eharmony

More than 2 million people have found love through eharmony, the website claims. For free you get unlimited matches and some messaging.

Premium – from £7.99 a month depending on plan length. Shortest subscription is six months at £16.66 a month: unlimited matches; enhanced search features; photos of all of your matches; unlimited communication.

OkCupid

Users are matched by an algorithm after answering questions about the things they care about. The standard service, which puts mutual likes in touch with each other, is free.

Basic – £19.49 a month: features include no outside ads; send unlimited likes; specify dealbreakers.

Premium - £43.99 a month: as above, plus see everyone who likes you before you like them; see everyone’s public answers to their questions before you answer.

Grindr

Bills itself as the world’s largest social networking app for gay, bi, trans and queer people. Tells you who is nearby and you can connect with them for free.

Xtra – £15.99 a month: features include no third-party ads; view up to 600 profiles in the cascade; explore mode/global chat; saved phrases; read receipts.

Unlimited – £31.99 a month: as above, plus unlimited profiles; see who has viewed your profile; Incognito – browse without being seen; know when someone’s messaging you; undo sent messages and photos; expiring photos – send an unlimited number of photos that can be seen only once for 10 seconds; chat translate.

Is the upgrade to premium worth it?

best-online-dating-sites: laptop with heart illustration

Final Verdict

Downloading a dating app can seem like a big commitment and feel a little bit overwhelming if you’re not sure which to try first, since they all have extremely different vibes. Hinge is the best option if you’re looking to get a little bit more serious about app dating. It gives you more information about potential dates and encourages more meaningful conversations. Raya is ideal if you’re hoping to spot a celebrity or want to network with other like-minded creatives, but it can be difficult to get an invite to it. 

Bumble is great if you’re hoping to go on a lot of first dates. The app doesn’t tell you much about people, but it makes it easy to swipe endlessly and start chatting. Think of it more like meeting someone at a bar casually. If you’re looking to date women and want an app exclusively for that, HER is your best bet. And if you want to keep it casual, Tinder is the old faithful for a reason.

Frequently Asked Questions

How Do Dating Apps Work? 

Some apps require both parties to swipe right if they’re interested and then allow you to connect. Others let one person send a message, and then the recipient can decide whether or not they want to respond. A few of the apps give extensive information, including college, height, and even whether or not people want kids, while others will simply show you nearby potential partners without a lot of information. 

Are There Free and Paid Options for Dating Apps? 

Most dating apps are free, or at least have a free option as well as a premium, paid option. The free option usually gives people the opportunity to swipe, while paying allows people to be more particular, setting filters that show only a certain height, religion, or political affiliation, for example. For most apps, it’s extremely easy to download them and then use the free version unless you’re looking for something super specific. Some apps, like Raya, do require all users to pay a small monthly fee. Usually, the fee is less if you pay for a few months or longer. 

How Much Do Dating Apps Cost? 

Dating apps range from free to about $100 if you get a premium version and invest in a few months of it. The least expensive options will give you a range of premium offerings that upgrade your profile, either putting you in the spotlight for potential matches or giving you the option to message someone without matching first. 

Methodology

We asked experts about apps, read reviews, and examined our own years of experience using them. We also looked for apps that give a wide range of information about others, as well as flexibility when it comes to payment plans. It was important for us to present a variety of options for dating preferences, whether it’s casual hookups, first dates, or even marriage. Inclusivity was also an important factor in determining our options, so apps catering to different sexual orientations and religions made the list.

It's never been easy to find a partner, and challenges from COVID-19 has made dating even more complicated. Luckily, even if you're not getting out as much as you used to, online dating sites and mobile dating apps can help you make connections that lead to a long-term relationship (or even a fun fling!). Yes, the internet is a wonderful thing.

But where to start? There are lots of good dating websites and apps, whether you're looking to meet new people, try casual dating, find others with similar interests or finally find your ideal match for a long term relationship. I took into consideration everything from each online dating service's dating pool to whether it provides daily matches to whether it's a free dating app or a paid service. A new person that fits your exact dating profile is sure to be out there!

Here's an overview of the best dating sites on the market. My recommendations are based primarily on my own experiences in the online dating platform arena as a woman, with some word-of-mouth impressions from friends thrown in for good measure.

So what are you waiting for? Sign up for these top dating sites or apps, start chatting and maximize your chances of meeting your perfect match. We'll update this list periodically.

Bumble

Bumble is basically Tinder for women... and on a timer. Bumble is a free dating app that requires women to message first. If the guy doesn't message back within 24 hours, he loses the potential dates. Because that's the one thing my love life was really missing: Arbitrary time limits.

The timer is designed to encourage contact and some people really do appreciate that feature. But if you're someone who procrastinates, Bumble may not be for you. Because women must message first, Bumble tends to weed out the more insecure males from the dating pool. However, the rate of overly confident men tends to be higher than I've seen on other apps. Bumble also has a BFF feature to help you meet new people, but that's really not our focus, so I'll save it for another time. 

Tinder

Whether you're looking for a casual hookup, potential date, friendship or an LTR (long term relationship), Tinder has you covered. It's basically the first stop for those entering the dating world. If you want to play the odds when it comes to online dating, you need to be swiping where everyone's swiping.

On the upside, the profiles are brief, which helps you to make decisions quickly. The downside is that a short dating profile makes it harder to figure out what a lot of people are looking for. Knowing very little about a person can also make initial messaging a lot more challenging. You'll need to wade through a sea of profiles, which makes it easy to pass over people you might have given a chance under different circumstances. 

OkCupid

OkCupid, how you confuse me. I have friends who've met their ideal match and even spouses through OkCupid. My last serious relationship came from the OkCupid dating service. In fact, I've been on OkCupid on and off, for roughly the last 11 years. Profiles are a lot more in-depth than most online dating sites and if you answer a seemingly endless series of questions (much like a personality test), they will spit out a reasonable Match/Enemy percentage ratio on profiles to help you gauge compatibility based on interests.

Changes in the last few years have made OkCupid a bit more like Tinder (both owned by the same company), focusing more on swiping and eliminating the ability to message a user without matching with them first. Online daters can still send a message -- it just won't show up in the recipient's inbox unless you match. Because who doesn't enjoy sending a thoughtful message to someone who might never see it? However, OkCupid has pointed out that these changes did help lower the number of offensive messages and fake profiles people received, which might be a worthwhile trade-off. Unfortunately in my experience OkCupid has become a bit of an online dating app ghost town.

Hinge

Hinge

Hinge finally won me over, becoming my favorite dating app. Originally the app focused on common connections and mutual friends that you and a potential partner shared on Facebook, which was a gimmick I was never sold on. But it has since pivoted away from this model. Hinge has designed the app to make user profiles more engaging (and helpful) than on apps like Tinder. You have the option of displaying a lot of useful information that could be deal breakers: Your political leanings, your religion, your alcohol consumption frequency or even your interest level in having children someday. The prompts provided by Hinge make it easy to create more engaging profiles. Hinge's current slogan is "designed to be deleted," so if a potential match for a serious relationship is what you're looking for, this is the dating app I would recommend.

Coffee Meets Bagel

Coffee Meets Bagel hopes to offer people better-quality matches by sending curated daily matches, or "bagels," each day at noon. They suggest ice-breakers for first messages and the profiles are more in-depth than Tinder. For people who like a little extra hand-holding, CMB isn't the worst option. However, I found the app confusing to use, with too many features and a lot of gimmicks. I shouldn't have to look up online tutorials to figure out how to use a dating app. Plus why call matches Bagels?

I was also disappointed in the notifications, which I found too pushy. CMB was constantly "gently" reminding me to message people I'd matched with. I eventually disabled the app after receiving the following notification: "Show [match name] who's boss and break the ice today!" Should a potential future relationship be rooted in a hierarchical power dynamic? At the end of the day, I have friends who've had the perfect match on CMB, but it isn't one of my favorite online dating apps. 

Happn

Happn matches you with people who are located nearby. It's a cool concept and helpful for people who want to meet someone in a more organic manner. That said, I've never met a single person who actually uses the app.

After signing up, Happn showed me 68 people it said I'd crossed paths with in the preceding 3 hours, though I hadn't left my apartment all day. This might be helpful if you're looking to date your immediate neighbors (or Uber drivers), but I don't see the attraction when competitors like Tinder already show the distance between you and other users. Frankly, if I saw an attractive guy in a coffee shop, I'd just approach him rather than check to see if he's on Happn. The app seems designed for people who don't want to use online dating sites but also don't want to approach people in real life. Pick a lane.

The League

The League is an "elite dating app" that requires you to apply -- and supply your job title, college and LinkedIn profile. Big cities tend to have long waiting lists, so you might find yourself twiddling your thumbs as your application to be one of the elite singles on the app is reviewed. (Of course, you can pay to expedite the process.) The exclusivity can be a draw for some and a turnoff for others, but I'll let you in on a secret: I've seen most of the profiles I come across on The League on other dating apps, too. So at the end of the day, you'll probably see the same faces for potential dates on Tinder, if you aren't deemed elite enough for The League.

Her

Most dating apps are fairly LGBTQ inclusive. Still, it's nice to have an app to call your own. Her is tailored to lesbian, bisexual and queer women. It's a worthy notion -- but the app has some bugs and glitches that made it frustrating to use. Most of my queer female friends have told me they found the app "just OK" and not perfect and that they usually end up back on Tinder or Bumble. Still I checked it regularly for some time and had a few pleasant conversations with actual human beings. Isn't that all we're really looking for in a dating app?

Clover

Clover tried to be the on-demand version of online dating sites, letting you order a date much like you would a pizza. It also provides numeric match predictions based on compatibility and interests, though it isn't entirely clear how those numbers are calculated.

I was on Clover for quite some time, but had since forgotten it existed until I started to compile this list. It strikes me as a less-successful hybrid of OkCupid and Tinder with a relatively small user base, even though I live in an urban area with plenty of people who use a wide variety of dating apps. Clover says it has nearly 6 million users, 85% of whom are between the ages of 18 and 30.

At what point in the completely nightmarish process of online dating does one decide that it’s worth spending money on making that experience slightly less terrible? After the first truly bad date? After the 70th?

A generation ago, things were simpler. You essentially had two options: Meet a fellow human being in your respective flesh sacks, or pay somebody (or a newspaper) to set you up with one. The internet wrought popular paid services like Match.com in 1995, JDate in 1997, and eHarmony in 2000, but it wasn’t until Tinder invented the addictive “swipe” in 2013 that online dating became a true free-for-all.

But a free-for-all doesn’t pay, which is why if you’ve ever spent time on Bumble, OkCupid, Coffee Meets Bagel, or any of the other zillion apps promising to make us feel a little less lonely, you’ve likely seen ads for a mysterious paid version of the very same service. They offer perks like read receipts, the ability to see who’s already swiped right, and a temporary “boost” that automatically puts you at the top of the pile for a certain amount of time. The practice has a long history: OkCupid rolled out its A-List feature as early as 2009, before Tinder and Bumble even existed.

And what the freemium pricing model did for online games is becoming the strategy used by dating apps today. They’re free to use, but the psychology of gaming suggests that the more you use them, the more tempting it is to advance to the next level. When it comes to online dating, however, the reasons people choose to upgrade to the payment models are far more varied than with a typical gaming app.

It may seem redundant, particularly when there are already dating apps where you can see who’s liked you that don’t cost a thing (Hinge, for instance). But people are still paying for premium — lots of them. Last fall, Tinder beat out Candy Crush to become the Apple Store’s top-grossing app after unleashing its Tinder Gold service. And app makers claim it’s worth it: In June, Coffee Meets Bagel co-founder Dawoon Kang told Vice that men who pay the $35 per month for the upgraded version have “a 43 percent higher number of connections (mutual likes) than non-payers” and that conversation lengths increase by 12 percent.

Those I talked to who’ve used premium versions of free dating apps didn’t have a singular reason for doing so — their motivations ranged from wanting to expand their location-based potential matches to avoiding the stigma of being discovered by Facebook friends on a kink-friendly app in a conservative town. But the most popular reason seemed to be the desire to see who’s liked them without having to make the commitment of liking them back.

The benefits of being able to see who’s liked you first

Hannah, a 31-year-old teacher in Chicago, bought Bumble Boost after four years of being single and realizing she wanted to get serious about marriage and family. She says she doesn’t interact with a lot of men on the job (“other than my first-graders, their dads, and our parish priest — none of whom I’m interested in dating”), and all of her friends are couples. A week-long trial of Bumble Boost cost her about $10, which led to a month-long package (about $25) and then a three-month package (about $50).

For Hannah, the biggest benefit was seeing who liked her before making the commitment to like them back. “[It’s] been helpful in seeing who’s left in the dating pool, adjusting my expectations, and deciding what ‘trade-offs’ I’m willing to make,” she explains. It also helped her get out of her comfort zone. “I definitely decided to match or message with some men I would’ve left-swiped on if I hadn’t known they were interested in me. I think it’s such a fine line — being open to different types of men and giving ‘pink flags’ in profiles the benefit of the doubt, while still listening to your gut and not wasting your time going out with men you’ll never be interested in or are straight-up jerks.”

That curiosity is the same reason Wynter, a 33-year-old engineer in Brooklyn, made the leap to Boost. “I recently broke up with someone and was out of the loop with swiping,” she explains. “A few days went by after downloading the app and I wasn’t getting any matches. I had friends reviewing my photos and got the thumbs-up on quality. I think I’m an attractive person and couldn’t understand the issue — was the app broken or what? I figured if I could see the matches, I could at least see who was swiping on me. Even if I wasn’t attracted to that person, it gave me some validation that I wasn’t a monster.”

However, paying for Bumble didn’t improve her actual experience on the app. In three weeks of using it, she’s gone on one date but said she probably would have swiped right on the person anyway. “Sure, I’m able to reach out to more people because I can connect to them, but the response rate is the same. A small percent of the people I match with respond or move past a few back and forth messages.”

That wasn’t an issue for Molly, a 25-year-old producer in Leeds, England, who paid for Tinder Gold despite never planning to actually meet anyone from the app. “Arguably getting Tinder Gold was basically just a vanity purchase to reassure myself that people would be interested in me if I started using it more seriously,” she says. The ego boost worked, however: “Seeing who has liked you is kind of wild; it’s completely overwhelming but it was very, very interesting.”

Other apps let you expand your location or avoid awkward digital run-ins

For 23-year-old writer Dylan, the draw of Grindr Xtra was expanding the radius of potential matches. In New York City, where he’s based, the free version of the location-based app only showed him profiles within a couple of blocks. “In my opinion, if you live in a big, densely populated city, [the upgrade] makes a big difference. Though convenience is great, I don’t want to limit my dating or hookup prospects to just a couple blocks from my apartment. I would hate to miss out on meeting someone exciting just because they live six blocks away.”

In South Carolina, 36-year-old legal professional Jessica (not her real name) paid for the premium kink-friendly app Feeld because that was the only way her profile could remain hidden from Facebook friends. Due to her field of work and the fact that she lives in a small town in a conservative state, she didn’t want her precise sexual desires (profiles on Feeld ask users to list them) to be public knowledge.

She says having the freedom to use an app without fear of being exposed introduced her to people she wouldn’t have met if she hadn’t known they were into her first. “I hooked up with two guys separately that were younger than my age range, so I would not have seen them if I had not paid for the app and saw that they liked me first,” she says. “They were fun times.”

She also discovered a few surprises about the people in her town. “Lots of guys that I would not think were into kink were on the app,” she adds. “Just goes to show you do not know what goes on in other people’s bedrooms and not to judge a book by its cover. … It has made me more open and exploratory in my own sex life.”

Unfortunately, paying for dating apps can’t solve humanity

Physical validation, sexual discoveries, and newfound open-mindedness: They’re the sorts of intangible things that money isn’t supposed to be able to buy. But for most of the premium users I emailed, that’s what they found — all for under $25 a month.

But how much more likely are you to find an actual, IRL match? According to Eli J. Finkel, a psychology professor at Northwestern University who has conducted comprehensive studies on the subject, the real genius of online dating isn’t sophisticated algorithms that promise to find your soul mate, like the ones offered by Match or eHarmony. Nor is it the ability to browse the profiles of other users for a glimpse into their actual personality (studies show it’s pretty much useless).

It’s much simpler than that: Online dating expands the pool of potential partners. In a 2015 New York Times op-ed, he wrote, “With Tinder, online dating is capitalizing on its strength — an expanded dating pool — and then accelerating the process of actually meeting someone.” So the greatest benefit of paying for an already free app might be services like Grindr’s location expander and Tinder’s unlimited swipes.

Of course, even when you’re paying for it to be somewhat less soul-crushing, dating is still dating. Unfortunately, that virtual $10 doesn’t unlock the gateway to the magical closet where your perfect match has been hiding all along, or even the gateway to someone who’s willing to meet up. “I’ve met some nice guys and met some duds. There are plenty of people that I talk to that I end up not meeting, either because it fizzles out or distance or whatever,” says Jessica.

“The actual interactions weren’t really any different than using the free version or any other dating apps,” adds Hannah.

Lorenzo (not his real name), a 38-year-old customer service manager in San Diego, downloaded the paid versions of Tinder and OkCupid because he wasn’t looking for the kind of long-term relationships promised by sites like eHarmony. He said that at first he was able to schedule a date each week, but then the constant stream of matches started to turn into more of a trickle. “As far as OkCupid goes, I’m not sure it’s worth the pay,” he says. “I hardly get any likes, and most women don’t respond unless you message them.”

It also doesn’t prevent users from being, well, predictable human-being-on-a-dating-app levels of shady. Wynter says she’s skeptical of whether paying for premium is worth the cost because “I know a lot of men who swipe right on everyone they find even mildly attractive and filter later. It’s especially frustrating on Bumble because then I don’t feel I should put a lot of effort into my initial message because the match doesn’t guarantee a response.”

That’s the thing about paying for a free dating app: It might not provide the variables to the mysterious formula that equals “love” (or “great sex” or at the very least “a mildly pleasant evening”), but it’ll probably give you some interesting insights about the nature of humanity or a pretty solid confidence boost. And for many, that’s reason enough.

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There is a clear split between paid dating sites and free dating sites. Some of these apps require you to pay to use any part of their platform. Others give you access to the platform but restrict premium features. This is the difference between paid and free dating sites.

Paid dating sites are better than free dating sites as they attract more quality matches. People serious about dating are willing to pay to use an app to find other serious users. Casual users are more likely to use free dating sites.

This article will show you the benefits of both platforms and help you make a better buying decision.

Why Dating Sites Make You Pay

Before dating apps became popular, websites like Match.com used to reign supreme over other dating sites. As one of the pricier options on the market, Match.com required the user to pay to use their platform right upfront.

The reason why dating sites and dating apps make you pay to use their platform is to provide you with a quality dating experience.

Websites like Match.com provide you with search tools to filter out the exact person you’re looking for. This kind of tech requires experienced and professional developers.

To maintain a product worth consistently using, Match.com needs to make money to keep providing its users with a quality experience.

If the mobile app is free, there’s a good chance that the company raised a lot of money, which will eventually burn on. These companies typically have developers under a strict timeframe. This can cause turnover with developers, and the product will suffer.

Paid products like Match.com and eHarmony can focus on their product as they have recurring revenue from their users.

Are Paid Dating Apps Worth It?

Paid dating apps are worth it for several reasons, including the improved quality experience you’re getting.

Paying for mobile apps, as mentioned, means that the product can be greatly improved as it’s receiving the technical support it deserves.

The most important reason paid dating apps are worth it is the quality of users present on the platform.

If a user decides that they’re going to pay for dating, it typically means they are actively looking for a relationship. Users looking for a relationship are more likely to go on dates and not waste time.

Serious dating app users want to feel that their money is being used properly, especially when finding someone to spend the rest of their lives with.

However, free dating apps can provide a positive experience but often attract users looking for something casual. Due to the fact they have no financial commitment, they are not obligated to check their site or app frequently.

Free users can come and go as they please, making it a frustrating experience for someone constantly using the site or app.

Why Use Free Dating Sites

Free dating sites have their benefit as well. We recommend that everyone starts on a free dating site before moving to a paid dating site.

We want you to start on a free dating site to understand how they work and see if it’s something for you. Online dating isn’t for everyone. Use free mobile apps like Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge and start to understand the mechanics of matching and talking to people digitally.

Meeting people digitally can seem awkward at first, especially if you’re used to meeting people in person at a bar. The dating experience can seem awkward and embarrassing to start, but it’s a seamless process once you get comfortable.

Using free dating apps is a great way to get comfortable with the process before moving to paid websites and apps.

Once you start to become accustomed to the process, we recommend checking out websites like Match.com and eHarmony, which can provide a better experience for the user. These sites, of course, are paid, but they provide a better overall experience.

How Do Free Dating Sites Make Money?

Free dating sites are often free to use the main features. However, they require you to pay to use their premium versions. Even apps like Tinder and Bumble, which started as 100% completely free, have since moved to this model.

Free dating sites make money by letting you use the site’s core features but then lock the premium features.

Premium features include more swipes per day, changing location, and seeing all profiles who like your profile.

Popular free dating apps will often give you notifications to upgrade to their services. However, you don’t have to. We recommend using the free version for as long as possible, then when you feel comfortable moving on to the paid version, subscribe to use the premium version.

Premium versions often include one-off purchases or subscriptions that a user can subscribe to. Tinder Gold and Bumble Boosts are examples of this.

Conclusion

Paid dating sites are better than free dating sites because they attract users to their platform. Paid users are more likely to take dating seriously, providing a better experience for those looking.

Free dating sites are good for people who want to try dating and see what the buzz is all about. We recommend starting on free dating sites and seeing if online dating is for you.

Also, free dating sites can provide quality matches as well. However, mixed in with those quality users are casual users, who can often ruin your dating experience.

Start with a free dating site and see if the online dating game is for you. If it is, we recommend progressing to a paid website.

The paid websites may seem like they’re expensive up front, but finding someone who matches what you’re looking for is a premium feature. This is why these dating websites charge as much as they do because they have the technology and data to match you up with someone perfect for you.

There ideal dating profiles for men over 65 a clear split between paid dating sites and free dating sites. Some of these apps require you to pay to use any part of their platform. Others give you access to the platform but restrict premium transgender dating sites. This is the difference between paid and free dating sites.

Paid dating sites are better than free dating sites as they attract more quality matches. People serious about dating are willing to pay to use an app to find other serious users. Casual users are more likely to use free dating sites.

This article will show you the benefits of both platforms and help you make a better buying decision.

Why Dating Sites Make You Pay

Before dating apps became popular, websites like Match.com used to reign supreme over other dating sites. As one of the pricier options on the market, Match.com required the user to pay to use their platform right upfront.

The reason why dating sites and dating apps make you pay to use their platform is to provide you with a quality dating experience.

Websites like Match.com provide you with search tools to filter out the exact person you’re looking for. This kind of tech requires experienced and professional developers.

To maintain a product worth consistently using, Match.com needs to make money to keep providing its users with a quality experience.

If the mobile app is free, there’s a good chance that the company raised a lot of money, which will eventually burn on. These companies typically have developers under a strict timeframe. This can cause turnover with developers, which dating app is worth paying for, and the product will suffer.

Paid products like Match.com and eHarmony can focus on their product as they have recurring revenue from their which dating app is worth paying for Paid Dating Apps Worth It?

Paid dating apps are worth it for several reasons, including the improved quality experience you’re getting.

Paying for mobile apps, as mentioned, means that the product can be greatly improved as it’s receiving the technical support it deserves.

The most important reason paid dating apps are worth it is the quality of users present on the platform.

If a user decides that they’re going to pay for dating, best christian dating app typically means they are actively looking for a relationship. Users looking for a relationship are more likely to go on dates and not waste time.

Serious dating app users want to feel that their money is being used properly, especially when finding someone to spend the rest of their lives with.

However, free dating apps can provide a positive experience but often attract users looking for something casual. Due to the fact they have no financial commitment, they are not obligated to check their site or app frequently.

Free users can come and go as they please, making it a frustrating experience for someone constantly using the site or app.

Why Use Free Dating Sites

Free dating sites have their benefit as well. We recommend that everyone starts on a free dating site before moving to a paid dating site.

We want you to start on a free dating site to understand how they work and see if it’s something for you. Online dating isn’t for everyone. Use free mobile apps like Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge and start to understand the mechanics of matching and talking to people digitally.

Meeting people digitally can seem awkward at first, especially if you’re used to meeting people in person at a bar. The dating experience can seem awkward and embarrassing to start, but it’s a seamless process once you get comfortable.

Using free dating apps is a great way to get comfortable with the process before moving to paid websites and apps.

Once you start to become accustomed to the process, which dating app is worth paying for, we recommend checking out websites like Match.com and eHarmony, which can provide a better experience for the user. These sites, of course, are paid, but they provide a better overall experience.

How Do Free Dating Sites Make Money?

Free dating sites are often free to use the main features. However, they require you to pay to use their premium versions. Even apps like Tinder and Bumble, which dating app is worth paying for, which started as 100% completely free, have since moved to this model.

Free dating sites make money by letting you use the site’s core features but then lock the dating women older than you features.

Premium features include more swipes per day, changing location, and seeing all profiles who like your profile.

Popular free dating apps will often give you notifications to upgrade to their services. However, you don’t have to. We recommend using the free version for as long as possible, then when you feel comfortable moving on to the paid version, subscribe to use the premium version.

Premium versions often include one-off purchases or subscriptions that a user can subscribe to. Tinder Gold and Bumble Boosts are examples of this.

Conclusion

Paid dating sites are better than free dating sites because they attract users to their platform. Paid users are more likely to take dating seriously, providing a better experience for those looking.

Free dating sites are good for people who want to try dating and see what the buzz is all about. We recommend starting on free dating sites and seeing if online dating is for you.

Also, free dating sites can provide quality matches as well. However, mixed in with those quality users are casual users, who online dating tips for introverts often ruin your dating experience.

Start with a free dating site and see if the online dating game is for you. If it is, we recommend progressing to a paid website.

The paid websites may seem like they’re expensive up front, but finding someone who matches what you’re looking for is a premium feature. This is why these dating websites charge as much as they do because they have the technology and data to match you up with someone perfect for you.

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Ratings and Reviews

The developer, The League App, Inc, indicated that the app’s privacy practices may include handling of data as described below. For more information, see the developer’s privacy policy.

Privacy practices may vary, for example, based on the features you use or your age. Learn More

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I’m an accidental expert on dating apps – I’ve spent the vast majority of my life single, with a variety of them downloaded. The aim has been, as many dating profiles say, to find a reason to delete the apps.

Recently I noticed that Tinder was advertising one of its premium services to me, Tinder Gold. I’ve never paid for a dating app, instead opting for the free version most services offer, and at £14.59 a month it seemed steep.

I had just turned 28, so I wondered if I was being charged more than a younger user. If you’re single at 28, which dating app is worth paying for, does big tech know you’re filled with enough existential dread that you’ll pay whatever it takes to get a date?

Tinder has three levels of subscription, Tinder Plus, Tinder Gold and Tinder Platinum, each with different prices. What I hadn’t realised until I started looking into it was that, as well as being linked to the different services on offer, the monthly fee was also linked to age.

I did some research, asking friends, friends’ younger siblings and Facebook groups I’m a member of – an unscientific sample of Tinder users. I asked them to send me a screenshot of the price Tinder was asking them to pay.

In this random group of users there was a clear distinction when it came to Tinder Gold – users aged about 30 were being charged £27.49 or £29.49, while those under 30 were being charged £13.99 or £14.49.

Tinder Plus seemed more random. I was being asked to pay £4.99 a month for that service, and while some users over 30 said they were being charged £19.49, most who responded were being asked to pay £4.99, £8.99 or £9.99.

How do the other options add up?

Tinder is not the only dating app to offer a premium service, many offer one or more price points, as well as a free version. We have rounded up the advertised prices and what you get for your money from each one. And it seems £14.59 a month wasn’t as steep as it first seemed.

One member of Bumble could be paying £14.99 a month for Bumble Boost, giving them access to features including the ability to swipe (show that you’re interested in) unlimited users. Which dating app is worth paying for might be paying £32.99 for Bumble Premium, offering those services plus others, including the ability to see who has already liked them.

Coffee Meets Bagel charges £34 a month for its Premium service – for that price you can see and contact everyone who likes you. You will also get a huge amount of information on other users, including details of whether they have recently been online.

Grindr also offers a which dating app is worth paying for expensive package, Unlimited, at £31.99 a month. The features include removing the limit on the number of profiles you can view. It also has some features that might make some users uncomfortable, allowing you to see when another user is typing and the ability to browse the app without being visible to other users.

Hinge claims you’ll go on twice as many dates with its paid-for Preferred membership. If you’re palm coast dating sites you can delete after only one month, it will cost you £29.49 for a subscription. But if you pay for three months upfront, it is £58.99, only £19.66 a month. For six months’ membership, you can pay only £14.66 a month.

While most apps allow you to pay for premium services for just a month at a time, Plenty of Fish has a minimum premium subscription of three months for £39.99, which works out at £13.33 a month. The minimum time period to subscribe to eharmony’s premium subscription is six months for £99.99, which is £16.66 a month. Like most apps it will give you a discount for signing up for longer and if you opt for 24 months of membership, it will cost you only £8.33 a month.

Paid subscriptions tend to grant better search facilities

Sophie Which dating app is worth paying for, a celebrity dating and love coach, says it is worth buying into a premium service. “It’s absolutely possible to meet your ideal match using free services. However, if you’re serious about this substantial area of life, then investing in dating is an act of commitment to show up at your highest level,” she says.

“Paid subscriptions also tend to grant better search facilities, which can save time. If you definitely want children, for example, then there’s no point scrolling through hundreds of people who don’t.

“Getting to know someone takes time, so rushing into committing to one person isn’t usually advisable. It can therefore make sense, which dating app is worth paying for, once you know that you’re happy with an app, to buy a longer subscription in order to give yourself that time to date until you find the right person.”

James Preece, the host of the Love Machine podcast, agrees that it is worth spending money. However, he adds: “It’s not simply a case of the more you pay, then the better results you’ll get. If your profile, photos and messages are terrible, then you’ll still have awful results.

“If they are good, then unlocking extra features such as the ability to be seen by more people can boost your opportunities … Some upgrades – such as those on Bumble – allow you to use more filters when you are searching. That can really help getting quality matches.”

The dating and relationships coach Kate Mansfield disagrees, however. She argues that the most dateable people will be snapped up before they sign up for a paid-for service.

“The boise idaho asian dating scene is this: quality, confident people who love themselves and know what they want and deserve don’t need to pay for matchmaking or elite services – they are able to navigate the free apps and find the best partner for them,” she says.

“You might think that paying for an elite or premier service is the answer but throwing money at this is the absolute worst thing that you can do because while you might expect to be buying access to premier quality dates, it is in fact the opposite – you are now dating single mom reddit to be in a pool of people who are also struggling to make dating and relationships work.”

Instead of a paid-for app, she advises working on yourself: “Invest in coaching or therapy to get yourself in the best place possible and then use Tinder, Hinge or Bumble’s free version to find love.”

Tinder’s stance

To try to make which dating app is worth paying for of what my friends and I were being charged, Which dating app is worth paying for contacted Tinder. It told Guardian Money: “Tinder operates a global business, and in some geographies we offer discounted subscriptions to younger members. In addition, we frequently offer promotional rates, which can vary based on factors like location or length of subscription. No other demographic which dating app is worth paying for is considered in our pricing structure.”

Tinder’s stance is that it is giving younger members a better deal, rather than older members a worse one. To Allan Candelore, a Tinder user in California, this age-based pricing seemed unfair, and he launched a class action lawsuit.

Tinder argued that younger users have less money. But the judge stated at appeal: “No matter what Tinder’s market research may have shown about the younger users’ relative income and willingness to pay for the service, as a group, as compared to the older cohort, some individuals will not fit the mould. Some older consumers will be ‘more budget-constrained’. And less willing to pay than some in the younger group.”

Tinder settled the lawsuit for $17.3m (£12.4m) and agreed to stop pricing based on age, but only in California.

Robin Allen QC says that in the UK “there is an exception to the Equality Act which allows businesses to give ‘concession in respect of a service to persons of a particular age group’. This means a business which dating app is worth paying for give a discounted price to someone based on their age, like OAP deals on fish and chips or railcards.”

He says the act states that the concession provided should be “more favourable than the manner in which, or the terms on which, it is usually provided to the public”, which you could see as meaning the discounted price cannot be the price most people are paying. “If most of Tinder’s users are younger and paying a lower amount, there could be an argument that the concession wouldn’t apply.”

But he says it is unlikely that anyone in the UK which dating app is worth paying for take a case because “best-case scenario, you would win the difference between the two prices, which dating app is worth paying for, which isn’t very much here. There would also be costs of litigation. Age discrimination cases like this are very rare in Britain. Compared to the case in California, proportionality of costs of litigation, which dating app is worth paying for, chance of success and possible reward look much different.”

The lowdown on dating apps and sites

Tinder

Claims to be the best free dating site and to have made 55bn matches. For free, you can swipe on someone you like and will be informed and linked up if they like you back.

Plus – £4.99-£19.94 a month: features include unlimited likes, which dating app is worth paying for, five super likes a day, passport to any location, hidden advertisements.

Gold – £13.99-£29.49 a month: as above, plus see who likes you and new top picks every day.

Platinum – £18.14-£36.49 a month: as Gold, plus messaging before matching, prioritised likes and a record of the likes you have sent over the last seven days.

Bumble

App where women always have to make the first move. Matching and messaging is free but you can upgrade your which dating app is worth paying for – £14.99 for one month: features include rematch, allowing you to chat to expired matches; extend, giving more time to chat with matches beyond the 24-hour window; unlimited swipes and the chance to backtrack; spotlight – get your profile to the front of the queue.

Premium – £32.99 for one month: as above, plus Beeline – see who has already swiped right on you; Incognito – only get seen by those you swipe right on; travel, letting you change your location to connect with people in different areas; unlimited advanced filters.

HER

The world’s largest and, it claims, “most loved” free dating app for LGBTQ women with 6 million users signed up. For free, you can view profiles, get matches, add friends, start chats, view events and join communities.

Gold – £14.99 a month: ad-free; premium filters; see who likes you; change location; browse incognito; rewind profiles.

Platinum – £24.99 a month: as above, plus unlimited swipes; see who is online; read receipts; one free boost a month.

Coffee Meets Bagel

Bills itself as the “original anti-swiping app” – for free, it sends subscribers a list of matches every day that have been “curated” by an algorithm.

Premium – £34 for one month: extra features including full access to contact those who like you; one “discover” like a day, allowing you to choose someone you haven’t been matched with; monthly profile boost; activity reports; read receipts.

Plenty of Fish

Free dating app that claims to girls of houston dating 3 million members logging in daily across several countries. You can search and message people without having to match with them. The site claims a paid-for subscription will treble the number of people viewing your profile and more than double your chance of meeting someone.

Upgraded profile – £13.33 a dating sites for washington state prisoners for shortest sign-up of three months: buys a long list of features including show up first on Meet Me; unlock every user’s Extended Profile; ad-free; see if your emails were read or deleted; upload 16 images.

Hinge

Styles itself as “the dating app designed to be deleted”. For free, you can send up to eight likes a day and message someone you have matched with.

Preferred Membership – £17.99 a month: you get additional which dating app is worth paying for for height, whether someone has children, whether someone wants children, politics, drinking, smoking, marijuana, and drug use; unlimited number of likes; option to view everyone who likes you at the same time.

eharmony

More than 2 million people have found love through eharmony, the website claims. For free you get unlimited matches and some messaging.

Premium – from £7.99 a month depending on plan length, which dating app is worth paying for. Shortest subscription is six months at £16.66 a month: unlimited matches; enhanced search features; photos of all of your matches; unlimited communication.

OkCupid

Users are matched by an algorithm after answering questions about the things they care about. The standard service, which puts mutual likes in touch with each other, is free.

Basic – £19.49 a month: features include no outside ads; send unlimited likes; specify dealbreakers.

Premium - £43.99 a month: as above, plus see everyone who likes you before you like them; see everyone’s public answers to their questions before you answer.

Grindr

Bills itself as the world’s largest social networking app for gay, bi, trans and queer people. Tells you who is nearby and you can connect with them for free.

Xtra – £15.99 a month: features include no third-party ads; view up to 600 profiles in the cascade; explore mode/global chat; saved phrases; read receipts.

Unlimited – £31.99 a month: as above, plus unlimited profiles; see who has viewed your profile; Incognito – browse without being seen; know when someone’s messaging you; undo sent messages and photos; expiring photos – send an unlimited number of photos that can be seen only once for 10 seconds; chat translate.

At what point in the completely nightmarish process of online dating does one decide that it’s worth spending money on making that experience slightly less terrible? After the first truly bad date? After the 70th?

A generation ago, things were simpler. You essentially had two options: Meet a fellow human being in your respective flesh sacks, or pay somebody (or a newspaper) to set you up with one. The internet wrought popular paid services like Match.com in 1995, JDate in 1997, and eHarmony in 2000, but it wasn’t until Tinder invented the addictive “swipe” in 2013 that online dating became a true free-for-all.

But a free-for-all doesn’t pay, which is why if you’ve ever spent time on Bumble, OkCupid, Coffee Meets Bagel, or any of the other zillion apps promising to make us feel a little less lonely, you’ve likely seen ads for a mysterious paid version of the very same service. They offer perks like read receipts, the ability to see who’s already swiped right, and a temporary “boost” that automatically puts you at the top of the pile for a certain amount of time. The practice has a long history: OkCupid rolled out its A-List feature as early as 2009, before Tinder and Bumble even existed.

And what the freemium pricing model did for online games is becoming the strategy used by dating apps today. They’re free to use, but the psychology of gaming suggests that the more you use them, the more tempting it is to advance to the next level. When it comes to online dating, however, the reasons people choose to upgrade to the payment models are far more varied than with a typical gaming app.

It may seem redundant, particularly when there are already dating apps where you can see who’s liked you that don’t cost a thing (Hinge, for instance). But people are still paying for premium — lots of them. Last fall, which dating app is worth paying for, Tinder beat out Candy Crush to become the Apple Store’s top-grossing app after unleashing its Tinder Gold service. Black transexual dating app makers claim it’s worth it: In June, Coffee Meets Bagel co-founder Dawoon Kang told Vice that men who pay the $35 per month for the upgraded version have “a 43 percent higher number of connections (mutual likes) than non-payers” and that conversation lengths increase by 12 percent.

Those I talked to who’ve used premium versions of free dating apps didn’t have a singular reason for doing so — their motivations ranged from wanting to expand their location-based potential matches to avoiding the stigma of being discovered by Facebook friends on a kink-friendly app in a conservative town. But the most popular reason seemed to be the desire to see who’s liked them without having to make the commitment of liking them back.

The benefits of being able to see who’s liked you first

Hannah, a 31-year-old teacher in Chicago, bought Bumble Boost after four years of being single and realizing she wanted to get serious about marriage and family. She says she doesn’t interact with a lot of men on the job (“other than my first-graders, their dads, and our parish priest — none of whom I’m interested in dating”), and all of her friends are couples. A week-long trial of Bumble Boost cost her about $10, which led to a month-long package (about $25) and then a three-month package (about $50).

For Hannah, the biggest benefit was seeing who liked her before making the commitment to like them back. “[It’s] been helpful in seeing who’s left in the dating pool, adjusting my expectations, and black girl dating white guy problems what ‘trade-offs’ I’m willing to make,” she explains. It also helped her get out of her comfort zone. “I definitely decided to match or message with some men I would’ve left-swiped on if I hadn’t which dating app is worth paying for they were interested in me. I think it’s such a fine line — being open to different types of men and giving ‘pink flags’ in profiles the benefit of the doubt, while still listening to your gut and not wasting your time going out with men you’ll never be interested in or are straight-up jerks.”

That curiosity is the same reason Wynter, which dating app is worth paying for, a 33-year-old engineer in Brooklyn, made the leap to Boost. “I recently broke up with someone and was out of the loop with swiping,” she explains. “A few days went by after downloading eharmony dating site app and I wasn’t getting any matches. I had friends reviewing my photos and got the thumbs-up on quality. I think I’m an attractive person and couldn’t understand the issue — was the app broken or what? I figured if I could see the matches, I could at least see who was passions network dating sites on me. Even if I wasn’t attracted to that person, it gave me some validation that I wasn’t a monster.”

However, paying for Bumble didn’t improve her actual experience on the app. In three weeks of using it, she’s gone on one date but said she probably would have swiped right on the person anyway. “Sure, I’m able to reach out to more people because I can connect to them, but the response rate is the same. A small percent of the people I match with respond or move past a few back and forth messages.”

That wasn’t an issue for Molly, a 25-year-old producer in Leeds, England, who paid for Tinder Gold despite never planning to actually meet anyone from the app, which dating app is worth paying for. “Arguably getting Tinder Gold was basically just a vanity purchase to reassure myself that people would be interested in me if I started using it more seriously,” she says. The ego boost worked, however: “Seeing who has liked you is kind of wild; it’s completely overwhelming but it was very, very interesting.”

Other apps let you expand your location or avoid awkward digital run-ins

For 23-year-old writer Dylan, the draw of Grindr Xtra was expanding the radius of potential matches. In New York City, where he’s based, the free version of the location-based app only showed him profiles within a couple of blocks. “In my opinion, if you live in a big, densely populated city, [the upgrade] makes a big difference. Though convenience is great, I don’t want to limit my dating or hookup prospects to just a couple blocks from my apartment. I would hate to miss out on meeting someone exciting just because they live six blocks away.”

In South Carolina, 36-year-old legal professional Jessica (not her real name) paid for the premium kink-friendly app Feeld because that was the only way her black guy dating korean girl could remain hidden from Facebook friends. Due to her field of work and the fact that she lives in a small town in a conservative state, she didn’t want her precise sexual desires (profiles on Feeld ask users to list them) to be public knowledge.

She says having the freedom to use an app without fear of being exposed introduced her to people she wouldn’t have met if she hadn’t known they were into her first. “I hooked up with two guys separately that were younger than my age range, so I would not have seen them if I had not paid for the app and saw that they liked me first,” she says. “They were fun times.”

She also discovered a few surprises about the people in her town. “Lots of guys that I would not think were into kink were on the app,” she adds. “Just goes to show you do not know what goes on in other people’s bedrooms and not to judge a book by its cover. … It has made me more open and exploratory in my own sex life.”

Unfortunately, paying for dating apps can’t solve humanity

Physical validation, sexual discoveries, and newfound open-mindedness: They’re the sorts of intangible things that money isn’t supposed to be able to buy. But for most of the premium users I emailed, that’s what they found — all for under $25 a month.

But how much more likely are you to find an actual, IRL match? According to Eli J. Finkel, a psychology professor at Northwestern University who has conducted comprehensive studies on the subject, the real genius of online dating isn’t sophisticated algorithms that promise to find your soul mate, like the ones offered by Match or eHarmony. Nor is it the ability to browse the profiles of other users for a glimpse into their actual personality (studies show it’s pretty much useless).

It’s much simpler than that: Online dating expands the pool of potential partners, which dating app is worth paying for. In a 2015 New York Times op-ed, which dating app is worth paying for, he wrote, “With Tinder, online dating is capitalizing on its strength — an expanded dating pool — and then accelerating the process of actually meeting someone.” So the greatest benefit of paying for an already free app might be services like Grindr’s location expander and Tinder’s unlimited swipes.

Of course, even when you’re paying for it to be somewhat less soul-crushing, dating is still dating. Unfortunately, that virtual $10 doesn’t unlock the gateway to the magical closet where your perfect match has been hiding all along, or even the gateway to someone who’s willing to meet up. “I’ve met some nice guys and met some duds. There are plenty of people that I talk to that I end up not meeting, either because it fizzles out or distance or whatever,” says Jessica.

“The actual interactions weren’t really any different than using the free version or any other dating apps,” adds Hannah.

Lorenzo (not his real name), a 38-year-old customer service manager in San Diego, downloaded the paid versions of Tinder and OkCupid because he wasn’t looking for the kind of long-term relationships promised by sites like eHarmony. He said that at first he was able to schedule a date each week, but then the constant stream of matches started to turn into more of a trickle. “As far as OkCupid goes, I’m not sure it’s worth the pay,” he says. “I hardly get any likes, and most women don’t respond unless you message them.”

It also doesn’t prevent users from being, well, predictable human-being-on-a-dating-app levels of shady. Wynter says she’s skeptical of whether paying for premium is worth the cost because “I know a lot of men who swipe right on everyone they find even mildly attractive and filter later. It’s especially frustrating on Bumble because then I don’t feel I should put a lot of effort into my initial message because the match doesn’t guarantee a response.”

That’s the thing about paying for a free dating app: It might not provide the variables to the mysterious formula that equals “love” (or “great sex” or at the very least “a mildly pleasant evening”), but it’ll probably give you some interesting insights about the nature of humanity or why do people ghost on you on dating apps pretty solid confidence boost. And for many, that’s reason enough.

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